A Gift for Mom! 🤍

To My Firstborn,

Next week we will take a short drive. I will start the car and wait for you to gather your things, adjust your headphones, and grab a water bottle or granola bar. We’ll make our way through our neighborhood, past a busy road, then an even busier road, and onto the winding, tree-lined streets that lead to your new school. We’ve done this before. I’ve driven you to kindergarten for the first time. I took you to middle school on your first day. But this time feels different. This time it feels as if something has changed.

You are ready. I am not. You are strong, confident, smiling, and independent. I am proud, nervous, anxious, and there are butterflies fluttering their wings inside my stomach. We’ll enter this brand new high school, hand in your paperwork, pick up your schedule. I’ll fix your hair, and straighten your collar before you stand in line to get your first high school picture taken.

You are so tall, long legs, muscles starting to form real biceps on your arms, shoulders broad, a few stray whiskers on your upper lip that you missed while shaving that morning. Your smile is real, your photograph is snapped, and there it is… you’re in high school. There’s no turning back now.

My son, my first true and real unselfish love, has grown into a young man who is preparing himself to take on the world. At this point, grades matter. Your character matters. Extracurricular activities matter. Just saying “No” matters. Choices will be made- good ones and bad. Friends will be made, and some will be lost. New teachers will be spending hours with you, teaching you things you’ve never known before.

You’ll start liking girls, I mean, really liking them. Some will like you back, and some will break your sweet, gentle heart. Some will want more than you want, and some might want less. You’ll need to follow your heart and your head. You must be patient and kind, respectful and true. Remember all the goals you’ve set for yourself and trust your intuition. You know the difference between right and wrong, so when you are faced with a situation, and you feel you’re not ready, or that she’s not ready, you must learn how to stop, take a deep breath, and do the right thing. It’s so important. You’re future is in your hands now, and all the choices, right or wrong, will have to be made by you.

There are people who will really like you. There will be some who don’t. Sometimes you’ll feel that no matter what you do, how hard you try, or how good you are, those who don’t like you will never come around. That doesn’t matter. What matters is that you like yourself. When you think about the negative people, the ones who give you a hard time, remember the others. Remember the people who love you, because those are the people to keep close. Those are the people who will be there for you no matter what. All the others will fade away, and those who are true to you will remain. In the end, you’ll realize how many people you will always have in your corner and you’ll know how truly blessed you are.

And on that very first day of school, as I watch you gather your books, your backpack, your new pens and pencils, I will be thinking about you as a small child. I’ll be thinking about the first time I drove you to school and left you in a classroom of strangers, a teacher I didn’t yet know, a large school with hundreds of children all from different families, coming together in one place to learn and grow. I’ll be thinking about the drive home after I left you there and how hard I had gripped the steering wheel, as hot, wet, gigantic tears streamed down my cheeks. Those tears weren’t all tears of sadness. Some of them, as they fell, were full of joy and pride, as I went over in my mind how brave you were that first day, in your new school, entering your new kindergarten classroom, so eager to learn and make new friends.

And now, as I prepare myself for the drive and the dropping off of you for your freshman year in high school, my whole heart swells up so large inside my chest that I feel as if I might burst. I’m so proud of you, my son. I would love to take all the credit for the intelligent, amazing, smart, hard-working, kind young man you have become, but I cannot. You are a combination of all the people who love you, all the teachers who have taught you, all the friends you have made, all the coaches who’ve instructed you, even all the people who have wronged you.

You are brave and real, solid and strong. You still let me hug you, and you put up with me kissing your cheek whenever I get a chance. You are confident without being cocky, your sense of humor is delightful, and it still amazes me how quickly you can eat an entire cheeseburger in just a few seconds when you are really hungry.

I love you more than you’ll ever know. Dropping you off at your new high school and letting you into that world of new and unknown challenges is harder for me than you can imagine. As much as I want to hide you away sometimes, and keep you locked inside this little, protected world of ours, I know you are better off if I let you go. You must exit my vehicle next week, and enter that building on your own, as your own person, with your own set of morals and values, your own likes and dislikes, and your own way of learning and navigating the unfamiliar territory. You’ll find your way on your own, without me to hold your hand and guide you.

As you leave my car, walk up the sidewalk to your new high school, and open the front door, remember to look back just one more time. When you do, you’ll see me, tears in my eyes, joy in my heart, pride in my soul, watching you making your way into one of the most challenging, exciting, and meaningful times that will be the next four years of your life. Know that I’m there, and know that you can count on me to listen when you need advice, a friendly ear, and especially, a warm hug.

You are my son, my baby, my firstborn, my life. I know you will succeed, and I’ll be right there behind you cheering you on all the way.

Good luck, my boy. There’s nothing you can’t do if you work hard enough. I love you.
Mom

So God Made a Grandmother book by Leslie Means

If you liked this, you'll love our book, SO GOD MADE A GRANDMA

Order Now!

Tammi Landry-Gilder

Tammi is an author, wife, mother and blogger who lives in West Bloomfield, Michigan, with her husband, two sons, three dogs, and too many fish in a tank to count.

I Finally Admitted I Didn’t Want To Be a SAHM Anymore

In: Motherhood
Mother and child silhouette

For most of my life, I believed becoming a stay-at-home mom wasn’t just a choice, it was the ultimate goal. The kind of life a “good” woman was meant to want. The kind of life that meant you were doing things right. I grew up surrounded by that message. In conservative spaces, in church circles, in subtle conversations about what a “real” mother looked like. Women who stayed home were praised. Women who didn’t were quietly questioned. I learned, without ever being directly told, that a mother’s highest purpose was to center her entire world around her children and her...

Keep Reading

I’m Not Really Sure How To Do This Teenager Thing

In: Motherhood, Teen
Teenager on phone

I was not prepared to be a mother of teenagers. Sure, I was warned by other parents about the difficult journey I was about to embark on, but I did not expect it to be this challenging. I remember these two sweet, innocent children who wanted to be with me all the time. Now they barely give me the time of day. How did we get here? Like many parents, we long to have that child who once, a long time ago, called us Mommy and Daddy and begged us to read them another story. Where are those kids I...

Keep Reading

Why Don’t We Talk About Jonah’s Mother?

In: Faith, Living, Motherhood
Woman standing over water

Praying for My Son Send a storm to stop him; Let his friends throw him out. May he drop to the deeps, But gently, please, Stubborn though he may be. If it could only take three days, How my mother’s heart would Rejoice in praise.  From the hell you allow him, Let him cry to you. Is not Nineveh and mercy Exactly what he knows He needs— A mercy on enemies He fears You will concede? Please let all the shade wither If his is an angry soul; Humble him and help him follow Where you would have his purpose...

Keep Reading

To the Mom Worrying She’s Not Doing Enough This Summer

In: Motherhood
Kids looking at lake in summer

It’s only the second week of summer, and, thanks to modern-day social media, I feel like I’ve already seen it all. Picture-perfect beach getaways, color-coded bucket lists, backyard neighborhood movie nights, you name it. And if I’m being honest, I’ve already caught myself wondering if I’m doing enough. More than once, at that. As a solo mom of two, I’m still adjusting to our new norm while trying desperately to delicately let go of any expectations tied to all of our past experiences…including summer vacations. I’m reminding myself that our summers won’t look like they used to. At least not...

Keep Reading

Your Worth As a Mother Is Not Defined By How You Feed Your Baby

In: Baby, Motherhood
Mother and baby stand by crib

I’m not breastfeeding my baby. I wanted to. And I was able to for the first several weeks of her life. But as the days went on, I could tell it wasn’t enough for her anymore, so we started supplementing. And sure enough, without warning, she began screaming through nursing sessions, but was satisfied with a bottle. And that’s when I knew what I needed to do. A similar situation also happened with my first. She didn’t gain her birth weight back on my milk alone, so I had no choice but to supplement right away. And before I knew...

Keep Reading

A Mother’s Love Doesn’t End When Her Kids Move Out

In: Motherhood
Family posing in Time Square

When my last sibling moved out of the house, I watched my mom struggle in a quiet, almost unspoken way. It wasn’t something dramatic or visible; it was something I could feel in her presence. For 40 years, her life had revolved around taking care of us—my siblings and me. Every season of her life had been shaped around our needs, our schedules, our milestones, and our growing up. Being a mom wasn’t just something she did. It was who she was—the structure of her days, the cadence of her thoughts, and the center of her purpose. So when the...

Keep Reading

The Hardest Part of Divorce Is Being Away from My Kids

In: Living, Marriage, Motherhood
Woman in driver's seat

I’ve written several times about how divorce has allowed me to find myself again, and how that version is even better than the one I was before I was married. All of that is still true. I am happier than I’ve ever been. More confident and sure of myself. I understand my emotions and how to handle myself when things get tough or scary. I am more grounded and calm than I’ve ever been. Truly, I have come out on top. I’ve received comments about how happy I look, how I’m “living my best life with kids only half the...

Keep Reading

I May Let Go of the Baby Things, but I’ll Hold the Memories Forever

In: Baby, Motherhood
Woman looking through closet of baby items

It’s easy to think of multiple sayings and mottos about how invaluable earthly possessions are. “It’s not what you have, but who you share it with” “Worry less about things and more about experiences” “Who cares what you have, you can’t take it with you when you go” And trust me, I know these to be true. I am not a hoarder of hotel pens or mini shampoo bottles or every receipt and coaster from my favorite restaurants. I don’t care much for name-brand shoes or designer purses, yet there are a few things I just can’t easily let go...

Keep Reading

Mom Showed Us Love that Lasts

In: Motherhood
Vintage photo of mother and three young kids

We moved a few years ago, and we had a closet that needed some reworking. In doing so, my husband found some old photos. He pulled out an album that held this vintage photo of my mom, my sisters, and me. It was probably circa 1983 when prints were made from Kodak. I actually don’t remember seeing the photo before. But I love it. In the photo, my mother’s eyes are shut with a blink because those were the days when blinks weren’t edited. It’s beautiful, and I can’t stop thinking about the captured connection. She was showing us something...

Keep Reading

This Is How I’m Raising My Sensitive Son

In: Motherhood
Little boy hugs a cat

When I was pregnant with my son, everyone warned me of what was to come. “Just you wait,” they’d say with an underlying schadenfreude, “you’ll never sleep again.” I fully expected sleep-deprived days and long, unrelenting nights, calming my son down from tantrums, trying to keep the peace with my marriage. But I got lucky—my son sleeps through the night, doesn’t throw tantrums, and my marriage is stronger than ever. I didn’t expect that, especially because I struggle with my own mental health and assumed I’d be in the weeds during my postpartum period. Now that my son is almost...

Keep Reading