Dear boy mom, 

You are a soldier. 

I know the days are long. Most of the time you’re still trying to find your purpose. You trust in God, but not a day goes by when you don’t understand why He didn’t give you a daughter. You often think about how things would be much different if God had blessed you with a baby girl instead. You trust God’s will, and you love your baby boy, but sometimes you still don’t understand why He didn’t answer your prayers. 

I know you don’t say these things out loud, they simply live in a dark corner of your heart. You’re thankful for your blessings, but sometimes it’s just hard to understand. I know how you feel mama, because I feel the same way sometimes, too. 

I remember each time we found out I was carrying (yet another) boy. I remember how terrible I felt that I was crying in that moment. I was thrilled to have a healthy baby growing inside of me . . . but I couldn’t help but feel sadness. I wanted to be a mommy to a baby girl so badly. 

I used to think the Lord didn’t bless me with a daughter because we would have a toxic relationship. Maybe I was bound to encounter some mother-daughter dynamics I am just not equipped to handle. Maybe I wouldn’t be able to raise a daughter the way He would like me to. Maybe that’s why God gave me sons, I thought.

One day, I poured out my deep insecurities to a trusted friend. This wonderful woman is seasoned in the ways of motherhood. She has influenced my life in so many ways. She reassured me I am a good mother. She told me I should look at things from a different perspective. She said, “Raising boys is much more responsibility. God’s trusted you with a difficult job.” My friend helped me realize God hadn’t ignored my prayers, I just hadn’t been seeking to fully understand His answers. 

I realized my friend had spoken truth to my heart. Raising boys is harder. So today, I’d like to share some of that wisdom with you, mama. I know what it’s like to need to hear these things, because I often long for a daughter, too. 

First, I’d like to remind you God chose you to raise a knight. You are responsible for discipling to your son, and that is a huge job God believes you can do. 

Secondly, please realize God has challenged you to raise up a Godly man in a society that’s decaying each day. Think about how fallen this world is, and it isn’t getting any better. God has entrusted you as a woman in charge of raising a man after God’s own heart. He must think highly of you! 

Thirdly, God has given you influence over someone’s future husband. One thing our world is severely lacking is men who put the Lord first. I can’t tell you how many single friends I have who are having trouble meeting men who possess enough faith to be spiritual leaders in their relationships. God has placed you in the imperative role of raising a future husband. You get to teach your son how to love God with his whole heart so he can love his wife well. You are blessing your future daughter-in-law by raising him to be a great man. 

Speaking of daughters-in-law, the next thing I’d like to remind you is that you’ll get to be an extended mother figure in her life. What a blessing it will be to have a son who searches for a wife who loves the Lord deeply. Not only will it be amazing for you to watch this Godly couple form, but she will likely fill a place in your family you’ve always been missing. If you raise your boy to hold his standards high, he will bring home a girl who you’ll be happy to call “daughter”. 

Most importantly, you get to be the person who teaches that future man about God’s word. You get to show that boy how to turn to God in every endeavor of his life. You are responsible for teaching him God’s truths. By living a life that honors the Lord, you are teaching your son to seek God in everything he does. It’s a huge responsibility, but God must think you’re a wonderful fit for the job. 

Are you feeling better yet, my friend? I sure hope you are, because thinking about these things certainly lifts up my spirits on the days when I don’t understand why God didn’t bless me with a girl. 

No one else can mother that boy like you do, mama. God gave you that boy for a reason. Teach him to live his life so people see undeniable proof of God’s love. 

You’ve got this, mama. I believe in you. Our God believes in you. I’m praying for you all the way. Would you please pray for me, too? 

Originally published on the author’s blog