What it looks like she did . . . absolutely nothing or the bare minimum at best. Sure, she did make the bed and that’s visible and there are only a few dishes in the sink, but other than that, the naked eye would assume she didn’t do much today. You see, she’s a stay at home mom. Her kids are eight and nine now. She’s thought about returning to nursing since they are a bit older and more self-sufficient, but a global pandemic and God have let her know it’s not time yet. Also, as time goes on, she sees their needs are not necessarily less than when they were toddlers their needs have just shifted. 

She doesn’t have sippy cups and diapers; now she has dance bags and baseball bats, water bottles, and sometimes a carpooling friend. They don’t need her to recite the alphabet and read them short stories. Now they need her to sort out a sibling fight or talk about how to deal with jealousy in friendships. She’s not teaching them to use the bathroom but teaching them to clean it.  

Her mind is also on overdrive with all the things she does that you just can’t see.

Schedules and responsibilities are constant. Every day is not the same, but every day is full. Full of mental tasks that many times take precedence over the physical chores associated with what stay-at-home moms do.

RELATED: Why I Still Stay Home

Yes, she cleans her home. She will also live the week out of a laundry basket because the clothes never got put away. Why? Because . . . 

  • Tonight’s dinner
  • Who has practice
  • Who has therapy (yes, therapy)
  • What groceries are needed?
  • Getting said groceries
  • Is there a play date scheduled? Because gosh, they need some social time after all this year has been. 
  • Planning for schoolhowever that isthey still need supplies and a sense of structure right? 
  • School paperwork
  • Squeezing in that call to mom, sister, or friend
  • Oh, yeah, she writes . . . that, too
  • Drop-offs and pick-ups
  • Dentist
  • Physicals
  • Eye doctor
  • Who grew out of what? New shoes here we come.
  • Activities
  • Self-care (maybe)
  • Making mealsall the meals and all the snacks
  • Need gas?
  • Making sure those small humans are being raised more than they are just being watched.
  • Picking up the housebecause she still tries.

Plan, execute. Plan, execute. Plan, execute. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat

(But also be flexible enough if the plan gets sidetracked.) 

RELATED: I’m a Mom Who’s Running On Empty

The bottom line is that every day, A LOT GETS DONE, even if you can’t see it. If the house is a hot mess, just assume more was done because on most days that’s the case. Whether she’s running kids to activities or running errands to fill the pantry A LOT GETS DONE. Even if she didn’t leave the house and it still appears to be a mess, know that her mind was likely messier with all the mental tasks and the mental load not meant for one person to handle . . . yet, she still does. 

She is me!

She is you!

She is her!


Tia Hawkins

Tia is a Writer/Brand Owner, Registered Nurse, Military Spouse, Mom and Spiritual Christian who currently resides in Virginia Beach, VA. Tia is an avid wisdom seeker and sharer. She has a love for tea, shopping, helping others heal as well as continuing pursuit of her own healing journey. Her unique perspective writing focuses on a wide variety of topics including mental health, motherhood, grief and relatable life topics. You can join the “Tea Talk” community and Tia at www.teatalkswithtia.com on the web or find her passionately sharing and seeking on her @teatalkswithtia social media accounts.