When you meet her, and you feel instantly connected. 

When you feel like she will become a big part of your life. 

When you love her, and she seems just like you. 

When the friendship starts to growand then suddenly stops

RELATED: Life is Too Short for Fake Cheese and Fake Friends

When you start to realize she doesn’t show up to the friendship in a way you need her to show up. 

It hurts. 

It hurts when you want the friendship to be different, and yet all you can see is what the friendship IS and how much it is not the friendship that is best for you. 

When being around her brings hurt and disappointment, she is not the friend for you. 

When being around her leaves you questioning yourself. 

RELATED: A Good Friend Doesn’t Make You Question Where You Stand With Her

When being around her makes you feel more alone. 

This is not how friendship is supposed to feel, not at all. 

It becomes clear that this friendship is no longer a place to put your energy and time.

It’s OK if a part of your heart wants it to be different and keeps trying to see if it will be different. 

RELATED: Our Friendship Was Right For the Season, But We’ve Both Moved On

And it’s also OK that you struggle to walk away. 

To stop making an effort. 

To let the friendship go, to let it die. 

It’s OK to grieve what you had hoped for, the part of you that deeply wanted the friendship to be different. 

Kelley Cooper

Kelley embraces her motherhood journey through writing letters and poetry inspired by her realtionship with her son, Shane. She lives in a mountain town in California where she is a life coach and host of women's circles.