Every year we received the email. And every year I’ve been able to ignore it. Until this year. In the state where we live, the first year standardized testing is mandated is the 3rd grade. Our son is now in 3rd grade. I could not ignore the email and attachment this year. The attachment was a letter stating the steps to take to opt out of the testing for your child.

I was afraid. I was anxious.

What does it mean that my child would not be participating? Would he have to stand in the hall while the other students took the test? Would he be berated with questions from his peers about why he wasn’t taking it?

As a parent of a child with an ADHD diagnosis, I often worry how he will be treated at school. He has a 504 plan, which gives him special accommodations that other children may not receive. He is able to move around more, is given the choice to sit closest to the teacher, can take tests in a smaller group outside of his classroom and other supports which allow him to be successful in school.

Children can be cruel and a parent always worries. As a parent of a child who is unique, I worry more.

In the end, our decision was based on our own feelings about how this would affect him and also the opinions of his teachers. Without our addressing it, a teacher brought it up. Taking these tests would not be beneficial to our son. She sees him daily and knows him in the school environment. How could we go against our gut-instinct and her professional opinion? We wouldn’t and we didn’t.

Even if you do not have the support of your child’s teacher—which we are enormously grateful to have—know your rights in your state. The pressure to meet the 95 percent federal guideline for standardized testing is intense. States that receive federal Title I funding can have their funding withheld if they fall below the 95 percent mark. This means the school district can lose funding if less than 95 percent of their students take the test. But changes to the law in 2016 gave discretion to the states in dealing with those who fall below this benchmark. How this plays out is yet to be seen. But know your options. Your loyalty is to your child, not to a school district.

For our family, this wasn’t about whether or not we agree with standardized tests on the whole. What it was about was our child. And he is our ultimate responsibility.

Originally published on The Mighty