Free shipping on all orders over $75🎄

It’s coming, this I know, as I watch their eyes widen while they take in the sight of my four girls. It’s been going on for nearly a decade, so now my lips automatically purse into a thin line and I wait for it.

“Four girls?! Wow, you must have your hands FULL. Poor Dad, he is seriously out numbered. Are you going to try for a boy?” The grocery tellers eyes are full of sympathy as she awaits my reply.

“I feel really lucky to have all girls,” I honestly reply, while gritting my teeth, hoping that she’ll note my less than friendly facial expression and end the conversation. She doesn’t seem to notice.

“Really?! Well you just wait till the teenage years,” she laughs. “Poor daddy!” Without another word I grab my receipt and herd the girls toward the exit.

“Mommy?” My seven year old asks as her little brow furrows, “Why do people always say ‘poor daddy’ and ask if we are going to have a boy baby? Are girl babies not as good as boy ones? Is daddy sad that none of us were boy babies?”

Anger boils up inside me. Her sister asked me the same question about a year ago. I briefly wonder how long before my youngest is pondering the same thing. I paste a smile on my face.

“No way, your daddy LOVES having all girls. I love having all girls.”

“Well, I think a lot of people don’t think it’s a good thing.” Her earnest little face is still frowning. It had been the third such encounter of the day so I understood her doubt. (Eight in a single day is our record for a family outing.) This is the crux of my problem. Wherever we go people feel compelled to comment. For all of the thousands of comments we’ve received, I can count on one hand the number of times it has actually been complimentary when it comes to all my kids being the same gender.

Funny enough, my sister, K, has four boys. “We hear the same thing, constantly. Words of sympathy, jokes, people asking if we are going to keep trying for a girl. The thing is, I would have loved to have had a girl. Am I sad that I will never have one? Yes. Do I feel blessed to have my boys? Of course I do, I wouldn’t trade them.”

The thing is, I understand that people are not trying to be rude or hurtful. In most cases I think people are just attempting to make friendly conversation. But words hold weight. And to a small child carefully observing faces filled with sympathy and mock horror, followed by words of condolences, the weight of those words can be crushing.

My girlfriend, P, has three boys. “We REALLY wanted to have a little girl. I wish we could try one more time, but financially we just couldn’t manage. I’m still trying to come to terms with the fact I’ll never have a daughter. Then I have strangers asking me if I am going to try again for a girl and it just brings the hurt right back up.”

I know before having kids that there were things I always thought I would do, rituals, rights of passage that I just always assumed I’d get to experience with a son and with a daughter. I know my husband had the same expectations. He expected he was going to teach a son how to open a door for a lady, or how to shave. Yet he loves having girls.

More than anything it was a confirmation that we are getting older and for the first time in our lives a chapter was officially closing. All of our youth we dream of futures that are filled with infinite possibilities. When all of your children are the same gender you close a chapter on the possibility of the experience in raising a child of the opposite gender. It takes a little while to wrap your head around it. That doesn’t mean you aren’t thankful for your kids. I wanted all girls. I prayed for girls, every single pregnancy. But it still took me a day or two to resign to the fact that I’d never be raising a little dude.

But whether you are someone who is ecstatically happy that you have all of one gender or not, they are your kiddos and you adore them. I think most families, with kids of the same gender, would agree that they’d be a whole lot happier without the constant commentary from strangers making jokes or disparaging comments. Whether the strangers realize it or not, the kids are listening and it can be hurtful.

I know we make quite the entertaining sight when we show up in a pink explosion. Sometimes bedecked in tutus, bows and bedazzled crowns. But unless you’re going to give us a thumbs up and tell us how awesome it is to have all girls, I wish you’d keep your commentary to yourself.

This post was originally published at trees truths.com.

10 Things Girl Moms Have to Look Forward To

20 Affirmations To Say To Our Girls Besides “You’re So Pretty”

God Gave Me Daughters

Want more stories of love, family, and faith from the heart of every home, delivered straight to you? Sign up here! 

So God Made a Mother book by Leslie Means

If you liked this, you'll love our new book, SO GOD MADE A MOTHER available now!

Order Now

Katrina Davis

Katrina (Tree) Davis is a military wife and mother of 4 who loves traveling and spending time with her family. Her home is filled with chaos and often times extra kids, which she loves, despite the strain it may place on her sanity. You can read about her comedic misadventures and triumphs on her blog www.treestruths.com or on Facebook at Tree's Truths.

Brothers Fight Hard and Love Harder

In: Kids, Motherhood
Two boys play outside, one lifting the other on his back

The last few years have been a whirlwind. My head has sometimes been left spinning; we have moved continents with three boys, three and under at the time. Set up home and remained sufficiently organized despite the complete chaos to ensure everyone was where they were meant to be on most days. Living in a primarily hockey town, the winters are filled with coffee catch-ups at the arena, so it was no surprise when my youngest declared his intention to play hockey like his school friends. Fully aware that he had never held a hockey stick or slapped a puck,...

Keep Reading

Stop Putting an Expiration Date on Making Memories

In: Kids, Motherhood
Mother and son in small train ride

We get 12 times to play Santa (if we’re lucky). This phrase stopped my scroll on a Sunday evening. I had an idea of the direction this post was going but I continued on reading. 12 spring breaks 12 easter baskets 20 tooth fairy visits 13 first days of school 1 first date 1-2 proms 1-2 times of seeing them in their graduation cap and gown 18 summers under the same roof And so on and so on. It was essentially another post listing the number of all the monumental moments that we, Lord willing, will get to experience with our...

Keep Reading

When Your Kids Ask, “Where Is God?”

In: Faith, Kids
Child looking at sunset

How do I know if the voice I’m hearing is God’s voice? When I was in high school, I found myself asking this question. My dad was a pastor, and I was feeling called to ministry. I didn’t know if I was just hearing my dad’s wish or the call of God. I was worried I was confusing the two. It turns out, I did know. I knew because I was raised to recognize the presence of God all around me. Once I knew what God’s presence felt like, I also knew what God’s voice sounded like. There is a...

Keep Reading

Go Easy On the Parents Who Refuse to Skip Naps

In: Kids, Motherhood
Two little boys and their sister walking down a gravel road, color photo

Greetings from a mom who is done with napping children. It’s great to have the flexibility during the day for longer activities, meeting friends for playdates, or day trips to faraway places. It’s a new life . . . the life without naps. The freedom to make plans and keep them. But not that long ago, I was something very different than the flexible, plan-keeping, up-for-it woman I am today. I used to be the mom who refused to skip my child’s nap. Yep, that one. Here’s the thing, for a lot of parents, It’s so much more than just a...

Keep Reading

My Heart Isn’t Ready for You to Stop Believing in Santa

In: Kids, Motherhood
Little boy standing in front of lit christmas tree

“My friend doesn’t believe in Santa anymore, Mom,” my son said out of the blue the other day. We were driving in the car, and when I met his gaze in the rear-view mirror his eyes searched mine. Immediately, my heart sank.  This sweet boy, he’s our first. Thoughtful and smart and eight years old. A quick Google search tells me that’s the average age kids stop believing in Santa, but as his mom, I’m not ready for that—not even a little bit.  I can still hear his barely 2-year-old voice going on about reindeer as we lay together on...

Keep Reading

Dear Kids, This Is My Wish for You

In: Kids, Motherhood
Mother hugs three kids

To my kids, The world you’re stepping into is unlike anything I experienced at your age. It’s fast-paced, interconnected, and sometimes overwhelming. But within this chaos lie countless opportunities for growth and joy. My wish for you is that you find the perfect balance between embracing the modern world and staying true to yourselves. Change is one thing you can always count on. Embrace it because it’s often the motivation for growth. Embracing change doesn’t mean letting go of who you are; rather, it’s about evolving into the best version of yourself. Remember, you don’t need to have all the...

Keep Reading

Motherhood is a Million Little Letting Gos and Fresh Hellos

In: Kids, Motherhood
Mother sitting with child on her lap by the setting sun and water

I missed my grocery-shopping buddy the other day. Mondays are usually the days my littlest and I knock out our grocery list. In the past, we’ve dropped the kids at school and then headed to the store. I grab a latte, and she chooses a hot chocolate. But that day, they were all in school. That day, she sat in her kindergarten class, and I went to the grocery store. Alone. A new rhythm. A changed routine. A different season. I listened to a podcast on the drive. My podcast. Then I grabbed a drink. Just one. I got the...

Keep Reading

Dear Daughter, Stay Wild

In: Kids, Motherhood
Mother and daughter on beach, color photo

I can’t really put my finger on it. Or manage to find all the words. But there’s just something about that girl. Maybe it’s the way her hair sits tangled. Curled up at the end. The way she moves. Dances. As if everyone was watching. Or no one at all. RELATED: There is Wild Beauty in This Spirited Child of Mine It could be the way she smiles. With her heart. The way only she can. The way she cares, loves. For everyone. For herself. You see, she is beautiful in the way only wild things are. The way they...

Keep Reading

You’re Becoming a Big Sister, But You’ll Always Be My Baby

In: Baby, Kids, Motherhood
Pregnant woman with young daughter, color photo

The anticipation of welcoming a new baby into the world is an exciting and joyous time for our family. From the moment we found out we were expecting to just about every day since, the love and excitement only continue to grow. However, amidst all the preparations for the new addition, I cannot help but have mixed emotions as I look back at old videos and pictures of my firstborn, my first princess, my Phoebe—for she will always hold a special place in my heart. As the anticipation grows, my heart swells with a mix of emotions knowing we are...

Keep Reading

Cowgirls Don’t Cry Unless the Horse They Loved Is Gone

In: Grief, Kids, Loss
Little girls Toy Story Jessie costume, color photo

The knee of my pants is wet and dirty. My yellow ring lays by the sink—it’s been my favorite ring for months. I bought it to match Bigfoot’s halter and the sunflowers by his pasture. Bigfoot is my daughter’s pony, and I loved him the most. The afternoon is so sunny. His hooves make the same calming rhythm I’ve come to love as I walk him out back. A strong wind blows through the barn. A stall labeled “Bigfoot,” adorned with a sunflower, hangs open and I feel sick. I kneel down by his side as he munches the grass....

Keep Reading