Kids Motherhood

I’m Not OK Today

I'm Not OK Today www.herviewfromhome.com
Written by Jenni Laplow

After a long day at work, my husband bursts through the front door loudly singing an upbeat song which I’m sure he heard on the radio during his drive home.  Heck, I heard him singing all the way up the front steps, he doesn’t even need to announce, “Honey, I’m home!”  

He is the perfect picture of a happy guy coming home to his girls.

I, on the other hand, had on my grungy clothes, messy hair pulled back, no makeup, fussy baby on my hip (who didn’t take an afternoon nap), a barking dog, two cats howling at me for dinner, and the tune of Mickey Mouse Clubhouse going through my mind over and over and over again.  

I think this is the perfect picture of a SAHM.

I quickly hand over the baby and corral the animals to their feeding places so a little peace and quiet can be enjoyed…except that my husband keeps loudly singing.  I give him a glance, so he asks, “Are you OK?”

I wish I could go through the list of everything I didn’t get done around the house today, I still need to fold laundry, cook dinner, feed the baby, take a shower, and enjoy just a little peace and quiet.  Even though I haven’t talked full sentences all day, my mind is mush, so all I can mutter is, “I’m not OK today.”

My vision for the day did not go as planned.  The unexpected happened, and it continued throughout the day.  I was lucky enough to stay in a state of mind to not beat myself up about it, but now that my husband is home I start to feel unaccomplished, messy, and I mentally start to beat myself up.  How do I explain this to him?

As I’m fumbling through the kitchen to put something together for dinner, he sets the baby up in her highchair and feeds her dinner.  OK, that’s one thing that’s no longer on my to-do list.  After we eat, he helps me fold the laundry and put the clothes away, so another thing I no longer need to do.  He then offers to put the baby to bed so I can take a shower. I sigh…there’s my peace and quiet!

At the end of the night, he was the one who stepped up and helped me get past my difficult day. He didn’t come home expecting a clean house, he came home to be with his girls.  I wish I could go back to his arrival home and jump into his arms, give him a big kiss and start singing with him!  It’s a great reminder: some days he will need me to be the loud singer to lift his spirits.

The perfect picture of a SAHM includes someone special to be there and understand when your day doesn’t go OK.  I didn’t have to explain why my day did not go as planned, or what I wasn’t able to get done…all I had to say was, “I’m not OK today.” 

About the author

Jenni Laplow

I’m a stay-at-home-mom (SAHM) located in Metro-Detroit, Michigan. Moving from a fast paced work environment to being a SAHM I’ve had a lot of adjustments in my life, so I rely on reading other mommy blogs for inspiration. I am happy to contribute my thoughts, ideas and experiences from my own stay-at-home journey! I am mommy to 1 daughter, 1 Puggle, and 2 cats.

  • Kate

    It sounds like you and your husband have a great partnership going! Nice job not beating yourself up because things didn’t go as planned, that’s life isn’t it? You’re doing a great job!

    • Jenni Laplow

      Yes! Realizing it’s a part of life is super important!

  • Hugs mama ❤️ I’m there with you! You’re doing awesome.

    • Jenni Laplow

      Thanks, Fiona!

  • This is me all the time, and I’m not even a mom yet! I hope you feel some relief and get a chance to relax soon. Your husband and baby are so lucky to have you, and I know they appreciate you more than you know! Keep your heart up <3

    Jasmine / http://www.jasminekeclipse.com

    • Jenni Laplow

      Thanks, Jasmine 🙂

  • Big hugs and BIG thanks. SAHM life is harder emotionally than I ever thought. I do not want to complain, but I think it is perfectly fine to say that some days, you are just NOT okay. Thank you for your honesty. I know that shower felt great 🙂

    • Jenni Laplow

      Thanks, Kim!

  • Such a real look at being a SAHM! I have always worked, but I can only imagine how challenging it is to be home all day with your babies while trying to get everything done!

    • Jenni Laplow

      Thanks, Lauren! Challenging in a good way most days 🙂

  • Yup this is definitely the picture of a SAHM! I’ve had many of these days!

    • Jenni Laplow

      🙂

  • Suzanne Hines

    My husband is so good at doing this as well. I cannot count the times I’ve been SO, SO thankful that he is there to step up when I’m just.not.able.to!

    • Jenni Laplow

      It’s great to be thankful for that 🙂

  • Stacy Streuli

    I know the feeling! Great post!

    • Jenni Laplow

      Thanks, Stacy! It’s reassuring to realize how normal it is 🙂

  • Great reminders! I’ve been there!

    • Jenni Laplow

      Thanks, Allison!

  • Justina Gholston

    It really is the little things sometimes. Just helping me and showing you understand means the world.

    • Jenni Laplow

      Exactly!

  • Shortsweetmom

    This is a lovely picture of a great team! I like how you pointed out that sometimes you will be the one singing to lift up his spirits. And I can totally relate to those days that are not ok.

    • Jenni Laplow

      Yes! Support needs to happen both ways for a team to work well 🙂

  • I have so been there! Love your honesty. <3

    • Jenni Laplow

      Thanks, Emily 🙂

  • Candy Kage

    That is why it is called a marriage. Our companion will always be there for us and us for them. For all eternity.

    • Jenni Laplow

      Yes, well said!

  • Erin Elizabeth

    This is a great reminder! We all have those days. I’m very thankful to have someone to lean on as well!

    • Jenni Laplow

      Thanks Erin!

  • Tara Berries

    We all need that person and sometimes we need to be that person.

    • Jenni Laplow

      So true!

  • Christina Rambo

    So. Many. Days. I thank God for the partner I have. Always, never fails… I wonder why the heck I put all these expectations on myself, because he certainly doesn’t care. Like you said, he wants to be with us.

    • Jenni Laplow

      Yes! We create our own expectations, and I don’t know about you but I try to set the bar high most days. Thankful for amazing spouses in our lives 🙂

  • Jen Enoch

    Isn’t it funny (well, maybe not) how if your having a bad day, just the sound of someone having a good day can throw you into a fit of rage…well, for me anyway. What a gift of a husband to be able to read you, and without getting upset, jump in to help! What a blessing.

    • Jenni Laplow

      Yes, SAHM jealousy at its finest haha! But, helps me count my blessings in the end 🙂

  • Lisa

    Great post! We’ve all been there and it’s totally ok!

    • Jenni Laplow

      Thanks, Lisa!

  • Great post! Every mom has days where they aren’t ok… and it’s time we start admitting it

    • Jenni Laplow

      Yes! I couldn’t agree more 🙂

  • Your hubby is so sweet! I may have to forward this article to DH 🙂 It can be frustrating if you were the only one doing all these at home. The two of you are a great team!

    • Jenni Laplow

      Thanks, Pamela! Very kind words 🙂

  • Jennifer Hamra

    Whew, I’m having one of those day today! Yes, great reminder that it’s okay to have a “bad” day and things not go according to plan. Really great that your husband is so supportive of you and pitched in to help you out!

    • Jenni Laplow

      Hang in there Momma!!

  • Such a great reminder and so lovely that husbands can be understanding and not care about mess or all the things we didn’t do. And so nice to do some of the chores together. We definitely need to support each other just like you said, at some time he will need you too. Lovely reminders of being there for each other.

    • Jenni Laplow

      Thanks, Suzy 🙂