Kids Motherhood

I’m Scared of Having a Daughter.

Written by Lauren Kauffman

My name is Lauren and I’m a boy-mom to two yummy boys.

I’ve had three-and-a-half glorious years of boyhood; dirt, trains and every sort of truck you can imagine. I get a tad over-excited when I see an excavator; even when driving alone. I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about the kind of men I want to raise. The kind of people that I want to give to this world. It’s kind of my life’s mission to raise good men.

However, after finding out we will soon be welcoming a little girl to our family, I cannot stop thinking about what kind of woman I want to raise. It’s hard to say woman without thinking about myself; it’s hard to separate the woman I want her to be without questioning the woman I want to be. A pinch of fear grips my heart a little bit, right about….NOW. You guys, girls scare me a little bit. I am not scared of my sweet baby-to-be, but when I look ahead to the years when this baby becomes a child, then a teenager, then a pre-adolescent, and finally a young adult- I’m wide-eyed. I’m fearful. Why is that?

It’s because I’m a girl. I know how hard it can be. I know about the peer pressure, competitiveness, and insecurities that girls can face and what an impact that makes on their lives and who they become.  I know how mean girls can be. And social media’s affect on girls? That’s a whole new ball game and I have not yet read the rule book.

I want to raise a good woman. I want my daughter to be confident and kind. I want her to hold herself to a high standard and not feel the need for validation from the opposite sex. I want her to dream big, work hard, stay the course and keep her commitments. I want her to fulfill professional dreams and accomplish personal growth. I want her to constantly work to better herself and help those around her and be true to herself. I want her to have a thick skin and not sweat the small stuff, will she realize that it’s all the small stuff? Along the way I want her to find the love of her life who adores her (but never settle until she does), and I want her to be a good wife to her husband and good mother to her children. I want her to live a long, full, happy life. I want her to value family above all else.

So, yes, I’m scared of having a daughter. But I’m mostly honored. I thank God for the gift of a little girl that I honestly did not think was in the cards for my husband and I, and I am up for the challenge. I’ve learned a thing or two about fear as I’ve gotten older. First, that it’s almost always unfounded, and second, that we forget that there will be people, spouses and faith to help us along the way. 

So my team over here, Team Kauffman? We’ve got this.

About the author

Lauren Kauffman

Lauren is a Texan, Missouri-grad, now turned Denverite. She is a mom to two little boys who make her tired. And happy, mostly happy. The phrase “bless your heart” and the word “y’all” are daily parts of her vocabulary. She writes over at Happy Haven Blog http://www.happyhavenblog.blogspot.com/ about her journey creating a happy home and family life.

You can also follow her daily adventures at Happy Haven Blog’s Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Happy-Haven-Blog/668754676586150?ref=bookmarks