I got married in 2000 (easy to remember how long I’ve been married, score!) when I was just 22. And although I sometimes call myself a “child bride” as a joke, apparently I would have been an old maid by 1958 standards. I recently learned of my “advanced marital age” when I read a viral Facebook post by FB user Kim Marx-Kuczynski, who stumbled across a 1958 McCall’s magazine at a garage sale. The magazine features an article called “129 Ways to Get a Husband” and Kim just couldn’t wait to share its contents with Facebook. It really struck a chord with, well, everyone—her post has since been shared over 47,000 times!
Because naturally, it’s hilarious!! There was no online dating in 1958 and people had to get reeeeaaaal creative, apparently! The article begins, “In the United States today there are 16 million women over the age of 17 who are not married. Presumably the vast majority of them would like to be.” I had a big laugh at this; while I always hoped I’d get married, I had no desire to do so before leaving high school! And, while I’m super thankful that my personal story has included marriage and family, I do not, as the authors of this article apparently did, believe marriage is the end-all, be-all of life. I promise you ladies (and gentlemen), you can have a great life as a single person! Pinkie swear.
But I digress. You’ve got to check out some of these ways to land a man in 1958. While most of me is thankful that times have changed and that husband hunting is no longer a national women’s sport, this is not a feminist rant. So many of these are just beyond hilarious that I chose to just read them and have a good LAUGH (and be thankful I met my husband in sixth grade instead of doing like #5 suggests and moving to Nevada where there were, in 1958, 125 men for every 100 females, to improve my odds! Or as #13 advises, become a nurse. I totally faint at the sight of blood. But, since being a helpless female is apparently good for landing a man, maybe that would work out. Hmm . . . 😂)
Number four is also 100% out for me. I’m an indoor girl, just sayin’. But seriously, reading this article gave me a million good laughs but also made me wish I could climb in a time machine and go visit 1958! We just introduced my kids to Back to the Future, and 1955 looked pretty sweet to me as well. I know every generation and age has its problems, and I don’t want to give up my modern conveniences (if the iPhone stays here in 2019, that’s a deal-breaker, LOL) but oh my gosh you guys, I’d LOVE to sneak a peek at a more innocent time, wouldn’t you? A time when #2—you could have your car break down at a “strategic place,” and 100% KNOW someone (possibly Prince Charming) is going to stop and help you. Now you can pretty much KNOW that if your car breaks down, you need to stay inside it with your doors locked and call for help before you get murdered, am I right? I mean if someone stopped in 2019, you’d probably be terrified your life would end rather than think it was just beginning.
1958, COME BACK!
Ok, not really. The advances we’ve made in civil rights and social justice make 2019 a better place, for the most part. But dang it, wouldn’t it be fun if you could meet the man of your dreams just by (#14) being “nice to everybody”?? (I mean since we should all do that anyway. But if general niceness doesn’t work for ya, definitely try #30 and take some art classes, then paint in the open air wherever young men getting a solid education in a field that will make them wealthy are attending school! HA!)
I’ll be honest, this big ol’list of man-landing tactics kinda made me want to go sit at the soda fountain and put a quarter in the jukebox and then just sit back and watch! I feel like I know all their tricks now! I could spot a husband-hunter from a mile away. Girl crying in the corner? Husband-hunter! Girl with a band-aid? Husband-hunter! Girl who constantly combs the obituaries? Husband-hunter! (Side note, if you meet your mate, I’m not coming to the wedding. I can’t get onboard with that, you creeper!)
My advice for today: read this fantastic throwback whether you’re married or not. It will make you appreciate the present, AND the past . . . and hopefully, if you don’t already know their stories, it will spur you to ask your grandparents, aunts, and uncles how they all got together. Odds are, if they met up in the 50s, most of them have a way more interesting story than “We met at a bar.” I mean, just check out # 47!
All right, I know I didn’t list them ALL here, but I am dying to know which one is your absolute FAVORITE here. I am gonna have to go with #43. I mean, I’ve been looking for an excuse to buy a convertible for YEARS . . . oh wait . . . I’m already married. FOILED AGAIN!
Which one made you laugh the hardest? Tell us in the comments!