I am currently living with 2 toddlers and enjoying, for the second time around, the roller coaster ride that is parenting children very close in age. You would think I would be a pro by now, but there is something about toddlers that always takes you by surprise even when you are ready for it. Here are 16 ways I am constantly reminded I live with toddlers. *As if I needed reminders.
1. When I pour a glass of milk and the first thing they do is dump it on a brand new stuffed animal.
2. That box of crayons, which was left out, is now floor decoration.
3. Puzzles from the toy cabinet are all thrown into one big pile.
4. Fruit snacks are demand for every meal and when I say no they throw themselves on floor sobbing so hard that I eventually hand them the box saying ,”For the love of everything good just take the damn fruit snacks and stop crying.”
5. It is like living in a nudist colony because they always want to be naked and dancing.
6. The side effect of this joyous feeling of being one with nature means sometimes I find puddles of urine and the occasional brown spot on the floor.
7. If a bottle of lotion is left out there is a good chance the contents will be spread all over the couch, table, and any toys left out.
8. Let me just say toddlers, DVDs, and DVD players don’t mix.
9. Every single pot, pan, and dish will be taken out of every lower cabinet every single day.
10. Ranch dip makes excellent hair gel.
11. Food appears in the most random places: behind couch cushions, toy boxes, the closet, and coat pockets.
12. My phone is full of pictures of noses, eyes, and the floor- really, there are like 200 floor pictures on my phone right now!
13. This conversation happened in my house .
Me: “Can’t I just go to the bathroom alone? Do you really want to watch me poop? You do know it stinks.”
Kid: I like to watch.
14. The silence is unsettling. It usually means the toilet paper roll is in the toilet or more than one library book is being ripped to shreds.
15. The way a toddler says I am tired is by throwing themselves on the floor over and over again while sobbing.
16. When we finally decide to eat out they take the opportunity to show us how stupid we were by throwing a french fry across the restaurant and hitting a man in