What a Mom is Really Thinking

Who are these people getting a great night’s sleep? 

How many times did I get up with the kids last night? 

I would love to sleep in until noon . . . in a hotel by myself.

Are these leggings clean? Don’t care. 

I forgot milk again.

Just eat the cereal without milk. 

They will be fine.

I need to plan something for dinner. 

I wish I was a better cook.

I need to go grocery shopping. 

I’ll wait until my husband gets home so I can go alone.

Why do I want to be alone? I feel so lonely as it is. 

Who am I kidding, I don’t even go to the bathroom alone. 

That was the deepest conversation I had all week. 

She said, “Have a nice day,” and I said, “Thank you, you too.” 

She was so nice. 

Her makeup was so cute.

How do I look? 

Why did I go out looking like this?

Everyone probably knows I haven’t washed my hair in days. 

I’m a mess. I should get ready more. 

RELATED: Dear Hot Mess Mom: To Me You Are Perfect

I miss working. 

The money would be nice.

Maybe I should go back to work? 

No, daycare is outrageous. 

What if my kids are sick? 

My boss wouldn’t understand. I would probably get fired for taking care of my sick child. 

I don’t feel like cooking tonight.

That would mean doing dishes again for the 87th time today. 

My child always asks for a peanut butter and jelly sandwich anyway.

Except now.

How was I to know that peanut butter and jelly meant something entirely different today? 

I don’t understand.

My child asked for the blue cup.

That’s the blue cup. 

What is the issue? 

Great, now I get to clean up juice because I put it in the exact cup they asked for but apparently that was wrong. 

Blue really means any other color on days that in y.

I’m spent. 

Does anyone see how tired I am? 

How many times have I picked up these toys?

I could use some help folding these clothes. Does this laundry multiply when I’m not looking?

I swear I just washed these shirts yesterday. Why are they back in the laundry? 

I asked.

Maybe my kids didn’t hear me.

I should get their hearing checked.

How do other moms get their kids to listen? 

I feel like an awful mom, I can’t even get my kids to listen.

RELATED: Being a Parent is Exhausting Even If Your Child Isn’t

They have already outgrown these pants anyway. 

I should throw them out.

I should buy some new jeans for me.

No, I just bought some two years ago.

They are basically brand new. 

I can wait. 

I just put these clothes away, why are they all over the floor? 

You just needed socks! 

I set their clothes out anyway.

I’m not washing them. 

Speaking of spent, why did I waste money on that stupid lipstick I’m never going to wear?  

I shouldn’t have spent the money on myself. 

It’s just an impulse buy. I’ll never wear it. 

But it’s a pretty color. 

It’s lipstick, just wear it.  

I’ll probably never wear it though. 

Maybe I should have bought a sexy outfit.

No, I can’t wear sexy outfits anymore.

I still have the baby weight to lose. 

I wish I had time for the gym. 

RELATED: Maybe the Best Way to Practice Self Care is to Care Less

And where am I going to go? 

I can’t go out. 

They will think I’m a bad mom.

The babysitter is so expensive anyway.

I don’t have time for that.  

I still have the laundry to do. 

And my husband worked all week. 

He’s probably too exhausted to go out.

And the bathroom needs cleaned. 

For the third time today. 

How do they miss a giant bowl of water every time? 

My gosh, it looks like I haven’t done anything all day! 

What did I do? I know I was busy. 

Seriously, what did I do all day?! 

It looks like I just sat around all day! 

Am I the only mom out there who never sits down? 

I just want to sit down.

Alone. For just a minute. 

I will when everyone is asleep. 

Where did the day go? I should go to bed.

But before I go to bed I need to wipe down the counter. 

If I do it now, I won’t have to tomorrow.

That’s hilarious. 

Who gets the jelly out this late at night anyway? 

They just ate! 

Everyone is in bed. 

I should watch something.

No, I’m too tired.

I’m going to sleep.