It's Nothing Personal When I Say No

A Gift for Mom! 🤍

I say no.

A lot.

Over the years, the invitations extended have declined.

I’m OK with that. The folks who care and who matter to me most figure out ways to stay in touch and connected. They get it and their thoughtfulness and kindness inspire.

I am a homebody, an introvert.

RELATED: Sometimes Being an Introvert and a Mom is Hard

I can do the whole social scene and I navigate it well. I’ve even been labeled outgoing (which is true) and an extrovert (which is totally false).

Outgoing as I may be, the social scene drains me.

I get my fill very quickly, and then I need the quiet . . . and I wanna go to bed as early as isn’t ridiculously possible.

I need quiet that is now hard to come by, even in my own home.

I have three small children and they have no volume control. They also hate all things sleep.

Now I say no more than I ever have before.

RELATED: Don’t Take it Personally When I Bail on You, I’m Just Trying to Survive

Without the quiet and rest to recharge, I never fully regroup and the notion of entertaining or going somewhere and making small talk does nothing to inspire my excitement.

Everything at this juncture feels like work, requiring energy and brain power I just don’t have.

Never mind the fact my children require a consistent schedule that’s hard to maintain when our calendar fills with stuff or that they aren’t good travelers and sleep horribly when we attempt to take them on the road.

And so I say no.

And you know what? I’m not going to feel bad about it, and I don’t owe anyone an explanation.

I’m actually quite astonished at the number of folks who feel they are owed an explanation and become downright nasty when they aren’t afforded one.

RELATED: I’m Not Stuck-Up, I’m Just Socially Exhausted

If you can’t look at our situation and have an immediate understanding of why we may need to decline an invite (or why we never invite you over), then try falling back on assuming best intent. Then, take it one step further and ask if we are OK and if there’s anything you can do to help.

In most cases, our desire to shy away is not personal. The kids need their schedule and mama just doesn’t have it in her.

So God Made a Grandmother book by Leslie Means

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homebody I say no introvert no say no social distance

Hilary Doyle

Hilary is a wife and mother of three living in Colorado. She enjoys projects (especially with her young kiddos), gardening, writing, reading and swinging a club on the golf course. Her education and work experience fall in the category of mental health but her heart is in her home - just as God intended. Follow her at SimplyWriteous.com.

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Get It Now

So God Made a Mother

It’s Nothing Personal When I Say No

Outgoing as I may be, the social scene drains me.

Everything at this juncture feels like work, requiring energy and brain power I just don’t have.

If you liked this, you'll love our book, SO GOD MADE A GRANDMA

My Sister-In-Law Is the Sister I Always Wanted

The Life I Love Was Built From the Life That Broke Me

My Mom Was Just 13 When I Was Born. Now That I’m a Mother, I See Her Differently.

Why Don’t We Talk About Jonah’s Mother?

I Never Got to Meet My Grandmother on This Side of Heaven

The Hardest Part of Divorce Is Being Away from My Kids

My Dad Gave Us Something Money Never Could

Dear Daddy, I Wish You Could See Yourself As We Do

Mothers and Stepmothers: Who’s on First?

Do We Really Want a ’90s Summer?

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