By Carley Whitlow 
To all the moms out there who went to college and have a degree but made the choice to stay at home with their children instead of going to work, I see your struggle and your sacrifice. All the work you did to get your degree . . . and now those diplomas sit on your walls collecting dust, and your knowledge lays dormant. Maybe you went to nursing school, have a teaching degree, or worked in social services. You may have spent time winning court cases as an attorney or graduated with a degree in psychiatry but never got the chance to use it.
Instead, you spend your days packing lunches, changing diapers, and running the kids to soccer practice. You used to get a paycheck, but now you work for free. Your previous employer used to commend you for your dedication and hard work, but now your contributions go unrecognized. When you chose to become a full-time, stay-at-home parent rather than going to work, it felt like a part of yourself was left behind, like one of your toddler’s lost socks in the wash. Your dreams were put on hold to help fulfill your children’s dreams instead of your own.
I became a mother while in undergraduate school getting my bachelor’s degree in biology. Raising a child while in college was not an easy feat. My son was in daycare at a young age, and I didn’t have any family around to help. I had to take out loans and get a part-time job to afford to live. I eventually got accepted into chiropractic college, and after the late nights studying, board examinations, and an internship, I graduated with my Doctorate of Chiropractic.
I had completed my goal of becoming a doctor and was beyond excited to open my own practice. But life doesn’t always turn out the way we plan, does it? I did open my own practice, and immediately afterward found out I was pregnant with my second child. I continued to work while I was pregnant and still continued to work with an infant.
When my daughter was nine months old, I became pregnant again. Even with my husband’s help, trying to balance motherhood and a career was a struggle, and I knew I needed to close my practice and focus on my babies. Fast forward five years later, and I am still at home with my now six- and four-year-old daughters.
Well-meaning family and friends may question your decision to put your career on hold to stay at home with your children. I have been asked, “Why aren’t you using your degree?” and “When are you going back to work?” Questions like these can make you feel inadequate and undervalued, and the work you do at home goes unnoticed. As stay-at-home parents, we know our work is a full-time job that doesn’t end at 5 p.m. and continues all weekend. I know I am doing the most important job in the world, and its benefits are more valuable than a paycheck, but sometimes I feel like I could be doing more and start to question my self-worth.
Once I began to separate the opinions I have of myself from the opinions of others, I set myself free from the guilt and shame that can come with being a stay-at-home mom. If you are happy with your decision to give up your profession to be a full-time mother, then that’s all that matters!
And guess what? You can still go back and use your degree at any time. It may take reinstating your license or brushing up on some techniques you haven’t used in a while, but the option may still be there. Or you can choose to not use your degree ever again, and I’m here to tell you that’s okay too.
An education is never wasted and can make you an even better parent. As a doctor, I have found myself using my knowledge to check for red flags when my children are sick and help my teenage son with a science project. A nurse can take their family’s vitals with confidence, a teacher can help with school assignments with ease, and an attorney can fight those PTA battles with gumption.
This is your journey, and no one else can tell you how your story should unfold. I have to remind myself daily that I am doing such an important job by raising a part of the future, and that it matters. You matter. You are an amazing mother with or without a degree. A degree does not define who you are, and being a mother is enough.
by Rebecca Spohr 
by Stacy Bronec 
