I Did it Anyway

I didn’t know how to properly swaddle a baby, taking a square blanket and somehow folding and wrapping it to perfectly recreate the safety and security you felt within my tummy,

But I did it anyway.

I didn’t know how to function on mere hours of sleep, fumbling about in the middle of the night as I fed and changed you, holding your fresh, tiny body against mine,

But I did it anyway.

I didn’t know how to adventure with a baby in tow, packing a bag full of diapers and a couple of outfit changes in case of a blowout, with toys and snacks and all the wipes the world has to offer,

But I did it anyway.

I didn’t know how to bathe a newborn, your slippery, soapy skin making those first baths an awkward, slightly terrifying ordeal,

But I did it anyway.

I didn’t know how to get you to sleep through the night, ensuring all of your needs were met by bedtime so that your little body would allow you to allow me uninterrupted sleep,

But I did it anyway.

I didn’t know how to best introduce solids, baby-led weaning and purees and homemade and jarred and all the options and opinions swirling about in my overwhelmed mind,

But I did it anyway.

I didn’t know how to handle your hitting, how to help you learn to both understand and manage your emotions in an appropriate way, all while my heart was shattering into millions of pieces at each of your inexplicable outbursts,

But I did it anyway.

I didn’t know how to balance the needs of two little people, hoping and praying that you never felt left behind or less important in the midst of your brother’s newborn neediness,

But I did it anyway.

I didn’t know how to handle that night, that tumble down the stairs, the panic that came with realizing there was blood, and the rush to the emergency room to hold you close as they stapled your wound,

But I did it anyway.

Because that’s what moms do. As our babies experience countless firsts, there we are, experiencing them right alongside them.

So no one said you should know exactly what to do. No one said you should handle it all with grace and ease and fearlessness. No one said you should never question yourself, your heart in the pit of your stomach as you do your best to figure it all out.

Just do it anyway. And when you do, marvel at it. Stand back in awe of the fact that you just tackled the unknown.

Then do it again.

This article was originally published on Kisses From Boys with Krista Ward

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Articles by Krista Ward

Krista Ward

Krista is a former teacher turned stay-at-home mom to three insanely precious little boys, Hudson, Jones, and Royce. She is married to her best friend and high school sweetheart, Randy, who is the peanut butter to her chocolate. Krista hopes to be a light and joy to the world, especially other mamas feeling stuck in the daily grind, through her writing.

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