I’m done! Doney Done Doney Done Done Done! No more pregnancy, no more labor, no more delivery, no more recovery, no more night feedings, no more postpartum depression. No More!
Of course that also means no more gasping at the first sight of two pink lines, no more finding out the gender, no more flutters and no more first cuddles. No more. It’s all over.
Although I am relieved to not have the responsibility of a fourth child there is a piece of my heart that is empty and longs to care for someone.
With my three big kids playing Minecraft together and my husband at work, my days are starting to get lonely. I am still anchored to home but my children are beginning to demand less of me.
While visiting family for the holidays we met a puppy and my heart melted at the sight of a teeny tiny fury companion. When my daughter and I pet her I noticed my stress level lowering and an unfamiliar feeling of calm.
I wanted one.
“Don’t get a dog,” my mother warned. “They are a lot of work,” friends cautioned. After surviving nine years in the throes of motherhood, I couldn’t see how a puppy would be that much, you know, worse than what I already experienced.
I’ve always known our family would someday have a dog, I just didn’t know when. Now seems like a good time. My youngest is still a few years away from full-time school so I still don’t have the freedom for a part-time job. I have the time now to devote to taking care of a puppy without also the demands of very young children.
I sneeze and itch in the presence of most animals so I had to carefully research and select which puppy could enter our home. I also had to convince my husband and landlord that this was the BEST IDEA EVER!
Some mornings I would wake up and think, Why do you want this? You can’t handle this!
But at night I cried myself to sleep at the thought of these two men saying no to me. Something inside was urging me to get a dog so if it didn’t become a reality then why did it feel so right?
Fortunately my husband was easy to win over and our landlord is very kind. As soon as I got the green light I made arrangements to meet a puppy.
We drove almost two hours to meet him and I was happy to let my family enjoy the first meeting. He jumped, played, licked and ran around with a furious streak of happy energy. He didn’t pay very much attention to me and I didn’t mind. I knew that once we brought him home he would be mine. I would be the one to feed, bathe, cuddle and take care of him. In a few short days he became my shadow and has filled up that empty piece in my heart.
The piece of my heart that longed for just one more baby but couldn’t have one because of the physical, emotional and financial cost.
To my surprise, something unexpected happened. The process of bringing a living creature into our home, buying him things he needs, taking him outside for the first time in his life, snuggling him, rubbing his belly, praising him for his potty skills and giving him more attention than he would have received if he stayed with his first family made me feel the miracle of adoption in a tangible way.
I have often thought it would be incredible to give a better life to a child. Even though we don’t have the resources right now, if in a few years the opportunity presents itself I would love to welcome a child who needs us and who we need too.
Puppy parenthood has meant interrupted sleep, potty accidents galore, money, getting chewed on, vet visits, vet bills and new routines. No doubt it has been a lot of work, but mostly a lot of love.