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Let me just start with owning that I used to pretend . . . a lot. In my marriage. With my family. In my former church. With my friends.

I had this vision of the person I was supposed to be. How she acted. What she wore. How she showed up as a mom to all the PTA meetings. The problem was . . . I really wasn’t that person I was pretending to be.

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In my marriage I would hold back sharing any big dreams I had because I felt like I had to feel content as a stay-at-home mom, and me wanting more would mean I was selfish. Not that there is anything wrong with staying at home. It just isn’t me. As you can imagine, my unwillingness to share all my dreams with my husband led to some disconnection. That disconnection led to discontentment. That discontentment almost led to the destruction of our marriage. Actually, it did. And we chose to build it back up. (Story for another day.)

I would be miss check-all-the-boxes and make everyone happy. I was so afraid of disappointing the family. So afraid of letting people down. So afraid to be loud, eccentric, and vibrant. So afraid to be my authentic self who doesn’t have the same beliefs as my family.

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I got to the point I knew I had to stop pretending if I truly wanted to live a life that was true to me. I had to let go of the crazy expectations I placed on myself and start to embrace more play.

Are you tired of pretending? Go ahead, Mama . . . dance, be loud, wear the sexy outfit. This is YOUR life. It’s time to own it.

*signed with a dash of sparkle*

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So God Made a Mother's Story Keepsake Journal

Chantel Matthews

Chantel Matthews is a certified health coach & personal trainer. — She is passionate about helping moms feel healthy & energized.

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