Dear Friend, You Never Have to Fake It With Me

To my friend who is struggling with depression, 

I want you to know I’m here for you. I may not know what you are going through, but I want to hear about your struggles. 

I know sometimes when I ask how you’re doing, you want to say “Great!” but the reality is you aren’t feeling great at that moment. Please know I don’t want you to feel like you have to put on a front or pretend like you are feeling something you aren’t. I know you’ve said to me you feel like a broken record, but I never see you that way. 

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You are my friend, and I know you. I know sometimes your heart is hurting. I want to hear about the struggles you are facing.

I don’t want you to feel like you ever have to be anything other than yourself when you are with me. 

And sometimes, if you don’t feel like talking, that’s OK, too. We can sit outside together or go on a walk. Sometimes just being with someone and knowing they are available and that they care can help. 

I want you to know if you are struggling to get out of bed, or if you feel like sleeping the day away, I would love to hear about that struggle. I know I can’t fix it, and I won’t try to. I just want to hear about what you are feeling and experiencing. I want to be able to pray for you and with you. 

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Isolation is a tricky thing. Sometimes we feel like we want it, but then too much of it can be hurtful and damaging. Sometimes the more we isolate, the more we want to isolate, and the darker the hole we are in can become. 

We are made for community, and I want to be a part of yours. 

You don’t have to be bubbly or upbeat. I love you because of who you are. All of you. Nothing else. So please just come as you are. I’m all about hanging out in my pajamas, so don’t feel like you need to get fancy for us to be together. 

If you don’t respond to texts or calls for a while, that’s OK. But I will keep trying. Because I care about you. 

I’m sorry your heart is hurting.

I know these days have been hard, and I realize the isolation we are forced to be in right now may be magnifying the feeling of isolation you are already experiencing. 

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I’m not in your shoes, and I don’t know how you feel, but I want to hear about it. I want to help carry your burdens and am available to sit with you in your heartache if you need someone. And if you don’t, just know I am praying. 

I love you, my friend. And I am here for you. I hope you always know that. 

Originally published on the author’s blog