Our Keepsake Journal is Here! 🎉


Sweet friend,

The one who has yet to see two little lines.

The one who, month after month, keeps seeing Negative, Not Pregnant, No.

The one who hasn’t yet met a good man, and your dreams are delayed.

The one who has been longing for a baby for much longer than I have.

The one who has not yet been able to start trying for complicated reasons.

The one who’s suffered loss.

I want to sit down and talk with you. I want to give you a big, long hug, and cry with you. I want to buy you your favorite coffee or tea, and take a walk with you.

Because as your expectant friend, there are a few things I want you to know:

First, I see you.

I know you feel invisible, like your struggle is just something you have to deal with alone, and like the world just keeps going on around you while your heart is breaking and your anxiety rises, and they don’t see or care.

But friend, I see you all the time. Your struggle is not invisible to me. I am always thinking of you.

I see you at baby showers, smiling on the outside but crying on the inside, wondering if it will ever be your turn to be the one in that chair unwrapping those darling onesies.

I see you at the OB/GYN, your face written with a very real anxiety about what today’s prognosis will be.

I see you post on social media about holding on and trusting God’s timing because you haven’t seen the answer to the cries of your heart.

My heart aches with you.

My heart aches for you when I see another pregnancy announcement on Facebook, whether you know the person or not, because I know you see some every day, too.

My heart aches for you when I visit friends in the hospital who have just had babies, because I know you gather yourself and your emotions and your heart, and step onto a hospital elevator to go visit, too.

My heart aches for you when I see pregnant bellies out in public, knowing you go out in public every day and see them too.

My heart aches for you when people are insensitive and don’t consider your struggle, who have absolutely no idea how this hurts.

And, friend? If I can be completely honest?

I am thinking of you as I peruse baby products on Amazon.

I am thinking of you as I hear of another surprise announcement.

I am thinking of you as I watch friends grow their families, some on to their 4th or 5th child.

I am thinking of you as I hear the pregnancy talk, see the moms groups, read the articles.

I know it feels like some elite club that only some can get into. I know it feels like you’re on the outside looking in. I know it seems like a cruel joke, how 15-year-olds get pregnant after one encounter while you, who longs to be a mother, have spent years waiting for just one positive test.

It’s not fair. I hate it for you.

Sweet friend, I know what it feels like to have hope for a positive. Maybe this really is the month! You allow yourself to get slightly excited at your symptoms, but immediately bring your heart back down. Don’t hold your breath. 

And then, the negative test. And then, the all-too-cruel, monthly sign that you’re not pregnant arrives.

I know the intense roller coaster of emotions of a false positive.

I know how agonizing the two-week wait is.

I know the tension of being late, by a few days, or by a few weeks.

I have been there.

And while I have never been diagnosed with infertility, or told my chances of conceiving naturally were very slim, or felt the anxious worry of every birthday marking another year gone and that time is running out, my heart breaks for you.

I want you to know that I see you, and I deeply care about your pain.

In the midst of one of my greatest joys, knowing I have life growing inside of me, I ache for you, and I weep for the emptiness you feel.

I want you to know that you can talk to me. I want to hear about the difficulty. I want you to text me when you’re having a rough day. I want you to call me when you’re crying because the anxiety is too much. I want to share in your journey.

Please talk to me about it, if you want to, if you can. Please know that I’m not going to be burdened or weighed down by your struggle. I want to bear it with you. I want to walk with you. I understand the fear of not wanting to weigh someone down with negativity while they’re celebrating, but please know that there is no way I’m going to feel burdened by you.

I don’t want you to feel alone in this. 

And though you and I are not currently on the same path, I want to hold your hand as you walk yours.

Please tell me how I can be most supportive. Teach me how to be a friend to you in this.

How do you feel loved? What are some ways I can ease your burden? What are the most helpful things you’ve experienced along the way? The most encouraging things you need to hear? Teach me. I want to do this. I want to do this right.

I know it’s so complicated and complex, but I want more than anything to be there for you and with you. I don’t want the fact that we aren’t in the same season right now to tear us apart. I want to walk beside you through it all. And I know you want to walk beside me.

I know how hard and painful it must be for you. I know you want more than anything to fully celebrate this little life inside of me, without that sting of heartache that comes over you when you wonder when, if, it will finally be your turn.

I know how badly you wish to have a little life inside of you, for us to walk this journey of pregnancy together. Sweet friend, I so wish that were the case.

But since it isn’t right now, I want to do everything I can to come alongside you, to strengthen, encourage, and infuse you with hope. I want to do this well. Teach me how to lift you up.

And friend, don’t ever think for one second that you are forgotten by God. That you don’t deserve his blessing. That you’ve done something wrong and he is withholding from you because of it.

Don’t even go there. Because babies are not the stamp of God’s approval. God sends rain on the wicked and the just, and his favor on the sinner and the saint.

Friend, he is so near, so close to you. He is near to the brokenhearted. So much so that he came and wrapped himself up in your world to show you how much he deeply cared for you. He loves you so, so much. Your heart’s desires are seen, known and loved by him. And he will prove faithful in your circumstance, and in your life.

I am not letting go of hope for your womb to be filled. I am not letting go of hope for your dream of being a mother to become reality. I am not letting go of hope for you, friend.

When you find that you cannot hang on any more, let me hang on for you. When you find that you can’t stand any more, let me carry you. When you can’t hold back the tears, let me be your shoulder to cry on.

When you get another baby shower invitation, or see another pregnancy announcement, or get another negative, come to me and I will weep with you. I will mourn the emptiness you feel with you.

But I will also fight for you. I will fight for your heart. I will fight to infuse you with courage to keep going, to keep trusting. I will stand on God’s promises for your life, when you fall down. I will call the things that are not as though they are, for you. I will speak to what is barren and call forth life. I will declare his goodness and faithfulness over your life when you cannot see it.

As long as you are still here, there is still hope. And friend, I will never give up on your situation. Because He will never give up on your situation.

Nothing is impossible with God. And when you don’t have strength to believe that, let me believe it for you. Fall down on your bed and weep, and let me hold you, let me fight for you.

The barren ones are so dear to God’s heart. There is something about barrenness that God touches deeply. There is something about longing and crying out for something you don’t have, that moves His heart.

Friend, I believe for you that God is going to prove Himself faithful beyond your wildest dreams.

I believe you are going to be a mother.

I believe you are going to see that positive test.

I believe you are going to get that phone call from the adoption agency.

I believe that you are going to find an amazing husband to start a family with.

I believe God places the lonely in families, and settles the barren woman as a happy mother of children.

I believe that your diagnosis is not final.

I believe that your situation is not hopeless.

I believe your story is yet unwritten, and it is a very good story, with a wild and beautiful ending.

So friend, from your pregnant sister to you: Hold on tight—to Him and to me. Run—to Him and to me. Weep, and mourn your emptiness, but don’t stay there. Rise up and declare His goodness. You will see it in the land of the living.

I can’t wait to celebrate your little miracle.

You haven’t seen your promise yet, but hold on, because it’s coming.

Originally published on the author’s blog 

So God Made a Mother book by Leslie Means

If you liked this, you'll love our book, SO GOD MADE A MOTHER available now!

Order Now

Check out our new Keepsake Companion Journal that pairs with our So God Made a Mother book!

Order Now
So God Made a Mother's Story Keepsake Journal

Hannah Rosenboom

Hannah is a 28-year old writer, wife and mother-to-be whose work has been featured in Relevant Magazine, the Huffington Post, and Thought Catalog. She has several projects in the works now, including her first book, and a children's book. She writes regularly about the sweetness of living life with a heart run wild for Jesus at her blog, Sincerely Hannah.

5 Kids in the Bible Who Will Inspire Yours

In: Faith, Kids
Little girl reading from Bible

Gathering my kids for morning Bible study has become our family’s cornerstone, a time not just for spiritual growth but for real, hearty conversations about life, courage, and making a difference. It’s not perfect, but it’s ours. My oldest, who’s 11, is at that age where he’s just beginning to understand the weight of his actions and decisions. He’s eager, yet unsure, about his ability to influence his world. It’s a big deal for him, and frankly, for me too. I want him to know, deeply know, that his choices matter, that he can be a force for good, just...

Keep Reading

Mad Martha, Mary, Mom, and Me

In: Faith, Living
Woman wrapped in a blanket standing by water

As a brand-new, born-again, un-churched Christian fresh in my new faith with zero knowledge of the Bible, I am steaming, hissing mad when I first read these words from Luke 10:38-42: “Now as they went on their way, Jesus entered a village. And a woman named Martha welcomed him into her house. And she had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet and listened to his teaching. But Martha was distracted with much serving. And she went up to him and said, ‘Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Tell...

Keep Reading

I Can’t Pray away My Anxiety But I Can Trust God to Hold Me through It

In: Faith, Living
Woman with flowers in field

I can’t remember a time when I wasn’t afraid. I was scared of people, of speaking, and even of being looked at. As I got older, I worried about everything. I was aware of the physical impact that stress and worry have on our bodies and our mental health, but I couldn’t break the cycle. I declined invitations and stuck with what I knew. Then we had a child who knew no fear. The person I needed to protect and nurture was vulnerable. There was danger in everything. It got worse. He grew older and more independent. He became a...

Keep Reading

Your Kids Don’t Need More Things, They Need More You

In: Faith, Kids, Motherhood
Mother and young girl smiling together at home

He reached for my hand and then looked up. His sweet smile and lingering gaze flooded my weary heart with much-needed peace. “Thank you for taking me to the library, Mommy! It’s like we’re on a date! I like it when it’s just the two of us.” We entered the library, hand in hand, and headed toward the LEGO table. As I began gathering books nearby, I was surprised to feel my son’s arms around me. He gave me a quick squeeze and a kiss with an “I love you, Mommy” before returning to his LEGO—three separate times. My typically...

Keep Reading

Mom, Will You Pray With Me?

In: Faith, Motherhood
Little girl praying, profile shot

“Will you pray with me?” This is a question I hear daily from my 9-year-old. Her worried heart at times grips her, making it difficult for her to fall asleep or nervous to try something new. Her first instinct is to pray with Mom. Perhaps this is because of how many times her Dad and I have told her that God is with her, that she is never alone, and that she can always come to Him in prayer and He will answer. Perhaps it is because she has seen her Dad and I lean on the Lord in times...

Keep Reading

My Aunt Is the Woman I Want to Become

In: Faith, Living
Woman with older woman smiling

It’s something she may not hear enough, but my aunt is truly amazing. Anyone who knows her recognizes her as one-of-a-kind in the best way possible. It’s not just her playful jokes that bring a smile to my face, her soul is genuinely the sweetest I know. I hope she knows that I see her, appreciate her, and acknowledge all the effort she puts in every day, wholeheartedly giving of herself to everyone around her. When I look back on my childhood, I see my aunt as a really important part of it. We have shared so much time together,...

Keep Reading

A Big Family Can Mean Big Feelings

In: Faith, Kids, Motherhood
Family with many kids holding hands on beach

I’m a mother of six. Some are biological, and some are adopted. I homeschool most of them. I’m a “trauma momma” with my own mental health struggles. My husband and I together are raising children who have their own mental illnesses and special needs. Not all of them, but many of them. I battle thoughts of anxiety and OCD daily. I exercise, eat decently, take meds and supplements, yet I still have to go to battle. The new year has started slow and steady. Our younger kids who are going to public school are doing great in their classes and...

Keep Reading

Motherhood Never Stops, and Neither Does My God

In: Faith, Motherhood
Daughter kisses mother on cheek

I’m standing in the shower rinsing the conditioner out of my hair with a toddler babbling at my feet, running through this week’s dinner menu in my head. “Hmm, this meal would be better suited for this day, so what should we do instead?” or “Maybe we should save that for next week since it’s easy and we will be busy with baseball starting back up. I can work something in that may take more effort in its place.” Being a wife and mother, running a household, it’s about the small moments like this. There’s something about it that is...

Keep Reading

So God Made a Sunday School Teacher

In: Faith, Living
Woman sitting at table surrounded by kids in Sunday school class, color photo

God looked around at all He had created, and He knew He would need someone to teach His children. So God made a Sunday school teacher. God knew He needed someone with a heart and desire to teach children God’s word. God knew the children would act up and made Sunday school teachers with patience and grace to guide them when they step out of line in class. He also made Sunday school teachers with a touch of discretion to know when the stories of a child may be real or imagined. God knew this person would need to be...

Keep Reading

But God, I Can’t Forgive That

In: Faith, Marriage
Woman holding arms and walking by water

Surrender is scary. Giving in feels like defeat. Even when I know it’s the right thing, yielding everything to God is scary. It also feels impossible. The weight of all I’m thinking and feeling is just so dang big and ugly. Do you know what I mean? Sometimes I cling so tightly to my fear I don’t even recognize it for what it is. Bondage. Oppression. Lack of trust. Oh, and then there’s that other thing—pride. Pride keeps me from seeing straight, and it twists all of my perceptions. It makes asking for help so difficult that I forget that...

Keep Reading