Our Biggest Sale of the Year is Here!🎄 ➔

Visiting a new mom and a new baby can be tricky. Some moms are so excited to show off their bundles of joy and want all the people to come over, and others want to hide in the bedroom and keep those new babies all to themselves.

While every new mom is different, these are some things I’ve found ring true with every mom I know. These are the things that always elicit an “Oh my gosh, yes!” when I bring them up:

1. Be on time (but also be flexible)

Maybe you talked to her and decided two days ago that you were going to stop by at 4:00. Guess what? Babies can’t tell time. Check in before you head over to make sure 4:00 still works and if it does, be there at 4:00. Not 3:45. Not 4:15. It can take all the energy a new mom has to get herself and a newborn baby ready for visitors, not to mention getting the house at least somewhat presentable. If she’s going to be ready for you at 4:00, be there at 4:00.

If, however, you check in before you head over and 4:00 no longer works, don’t be difficult. Just say “OK, no problem. What time should I come? Or would tomorrow be a better day?” If the time gets pushed back, go for a drive, go for a walk, go to the grocery store . . . just kill some time. Babies don’t run on normal schedules and neither do new moms.

2. Bring groceries

Even if you text and ask what she needs and she says nothing, bring groceries. I promise they will be appreciated and they will get eaten. Think things that will keep and/or are easy to prepare: bagels, granola bars, K-cups, microwave meals, snacks for older siblings, trail mix, oatmeal, pizza, rotisserie chicken, etc. Breastfeeding is hungry work, and it’s such a relief to have a wide variety of things to quickly grab and eat with one hand. When we came home from the hospital, our kitchen was stocked with meals and snacks that our family had left while we were gone, and I was so grateful for that.

3. Give her affirmation

Tell her over and over and over again how beautiful her baby is. Tell her she’s a natural. Tell her she’s doing a great job. Tell her the baby is so lucky to have her as a mom. Tell her that she’s an amazing parent. Especially if she’s struggling with postpartum anxiety or depression (even if you don’t think she is, she could be hiding it very well), words of affirmation can be huge for her confidence and well-being.

4. Play with the older siblings and pets

When my baby was born, my mother-in-law made it a point to bring “big brother” gifts for my very energetic dog. When people came over and played with him or tired him out it was such a relief. The same goes for older siblings. I know you want to see and snuggle the new baby, but so does that new mama. Give her some uninterrupted time with her new baby by taking everything else off her plate for a few minutes. Older siblings (and pets!) can get really jealous, so giving them attention and gifts helps their transition. Try to think of gifts that will occupy the older kids once you’re gone, too.

5. Leave your germs at home

This seems so obvious, yet so many moms are left trying to shield their newborns from illnesses that never should have entered the house. If you have even thought about sneezing or coughing in the last 48 hours, just don’t come. Seriously, if you have any inkling that you’re getting sick, please just wait. It’s not worth getting a baby sick, and it’s not worth the anxiety you’ll give the mom knowing her baby was around someone who is sick. Don’t put her in the position of having to choose, either; don’t text and say, “I think I might be getting sick, but I think it will be OK.” YOU make the executive decision and just don’t come.

6. Bring something just for her

Everybody comes over with gifts for the baby and I was so grateful for and loved all of those. What I really remember though, are the gifts that were just for me. It doesn’t have to be elaborate or expensive, but it is so, so appreciated. A hot cup of good coffee. A chocolate bar. Her favorite dessert. A new book. Bath bombs. A comfy nursing top. You get the idea. If you aren’t able to see mom and baby in person, send mom treats straight to her doorstep with Cravebox.

7. Take pictures

She probably won’t think to ask, so just take some pictures of her holding and interacting with her baby. She has hundreds of pictures of her baby in her phone, but hardly any with her and her baby. The time goes way too fast and newborn babies change every single day. Pictures of her and her baby together are priceless. 

8. Remember her a few months from now

Everybody helps out and brings gifts when the baby is first born, and then after a month or so, everything goes back to normal—except it doesn’t. For a first-time mom, her life is changed forever and things are still hard and different months later. All of these tips still apply when the baby is 6-, 9-, even 12-months-old. Sometimes all a mom needs is a good cup of coffee and some adult conversation.

New moms love being recognized for the beautiful transition from woman to mother. Honor her new motherhood with one of our mom tees.

Recommendations in this post contain affiliate links. Her View From Home may receive a small commission if you choose to purchase.

You may also like:

Dear New Mom, It Gets Easier

So God Made a Newborn

If you liked this, you'll love our new book, SO GOD MADE A MOTHER available for pre-order now!

Pre-Order Now

Alicia Betz

Alicia is a freelance writer and former teacher. She specializes in parenting, education, and pets. She has a bachelor's and master's in education and also runs a freelance writing business. You can usually find her hiking, working out, going to the movies, or writing with napping babies on her lap. 

Dear Loss Mom, Grieve Your Baby In Heaven Without Guilt

In: Baby, Grief, Loss

My third baby was due on October 19, 2019. Instead, she was born into heaven on March 24, 2019. Not only do I grieve her more in October than in other months because of her due date, but I also grieve for so many other parents who have also lost their children.  RELATED: A Letter To My Mama From Your Baby In Heaven Pregnancy loss is such a strange journey to walk through. I’m years into it, and there are still days when the grief hits and the tears come and I can’t breathe. On other days, I am so...

Keep Reading

1-Year-Olds Are Wonderful

In: Baby, Kids, Motherhood, Toddler
1 year old baby smiling

Newborns—who doesn’t love them?  The captivating scent of a brand new baby, their fragile little bodies laying so delicately on your chest. Everything that comes with a newborn baby is just absolute magic. But have you ever had a 1-year-old? I used to think the newborn phase was my favorite, nothing could ever be better than having such a tiny helpless little human rely on you for absolutely everything. I could hold my newborn for hours, soaking in every tiny little detail before it became nothing but a beautifully distant memory. But I’ve realized it’s 1-year-olds who have a special...

Keep Reading

Here In the Struggle of Motherhood Are Tender Moments I’m Afraid to Miss

In: Baby, Motherhood
Baby in mother's arms looking up

I didn’t realize the fear I would feel going into the operating room. My hands trembled and felt as if they were not in my control. The delivery I had planned had gone up in flames and a C-section became my only option. My baby’s heart rate was dropping, and the life I dreamed of flashed before my eyes.  This was not the way it was supposed to go. When I arrived at the hospital that Wednesday evening the nurses boasted about how well my baby boy was doing, how strong he was, how active he was, and how good...

Keep Reading

There’s Light At the End of a Hard Pregnancy

In: Baby, Motherhood
Newborn lying on blanket, color photo

That little pink positive mark hit me. Hard.  The pregnancy test revealed the news that I guiltily hoped was negative. The idea of another pregnancy—the hormones, the weight gain, the lack of sanity and sleep—seemed to overcome me. HOW? HOW could I possibly do this AGAIN?  Full of shock, I broke the news to my husband. I was like a broken record, repeating to him with tears, “Are we going to be okay?” He tried to reassure me, but I felt the uncertainty, the darkness.  In the next months, I was depressed. Focused on trying to make it through the...

Keep Reading

Every Time I Put You Down, You Grow a Little More

In: Baby, Motherhood
Black and white photo of baby sleeping with pacifier in his mouth

You’re six months old today.  Everything about you is so much bigger now—including the personality that’s showing through. But today? I want to soak in the littleness.  It’s a weekend, so I get to put you down for your naps. Your daddy took your brother to the store, so it’s just you and me.  It’s quiet. You have my full attention with no distractions.  As we rock, your eyes start to roll back in your head. You sigh and put your hand on my chest—as if to make sure I’m still here.  Sweet little one, this is the only place...

Keep Reading

This is the World of a Preemie Mom

In: Baby, Motherhood
Preemie baby foot with monitor attached

You came into this world much before your time. Your daddy and I weren’t ready for you, but that didn’t matter—you were determined to make your entrance at 27 weeks gestation. The first time I laid eyes on you, I was taken aback. You were wrapped in clear plastic bags with wires sticking out from all sides of you. You were so small and fragile—990 grams and 983 grams—the size of a pineapple I might buy at the grocery store. Your daddy took pictures of you, but I wasn’t sure if I would show them to anyone. You didn’t look...

Keep Reading

Secondary Infertility Took Me By Surprise

In: Baby, Faith, Grief, Loss, Motherhood
Mother holding toddler by open door

Selfish. Unfair. Guilt stricken. Shameful. Those were just a few of the words that regularly stabbed my lamenting heart as I longed for a second child. Yes, I was grateful for my healthy, beautiful boy who made my dream of motherhood come true, but why did I not feel complete—was he not enough? Was I doing this motherhood thing all wrong and didn’t deserve a second child? Why did I long to give him a sibling so badly knowing millions were aching for their first—how could I be so insensitive? So many questions, so many buts and so many whys....

Keep Reading

I Used to Feel Shame for Having PPD, but Now I Just Feel like a Mother

In: Baby, Motherhood
Mom holding toddler by window

I had my first son when I was 23 years old. My husband and I named him Isaac, which means laughter. The first few months of his life brought me anything but laughter. It felt as if for the first five weeks, my son cried constantly. It seemed if he wasn’t crying then he was sleeping. It was a really stressful time for me. I cried, he cried, and in the end, we’d both be so exhausted we’d fall asleep. I remember telling myself “I can’t do this” over and over and over again. Eventually, those thoughts manifested into actions....

Keep Reading

The Smell of Dreft and Hope

In: Baby, Motherhood
Woman folding baby onesie

My husband and I sink onto our living room couch at the end of the day, cocooned within distant, sound-machine ocean waves while our two toddlers sleep in their respective rooms. We’re trying to decide whether to watch another episode of 30 Rock or not.  “Let’s have another baby,” I say suddenly, hopefully. The past several months have brought those familiar pings of longing again, and it’s exhausting trying to pretend they don’t exist.  My husband isn’t surprised—we have some version of this conversation at least once a month. He pauses before speaking, picking at the couch cushion. “I still...

Keep Reading

No One Prepares You for When Your Husband Has Cancer

In: Baby, Cancer, Marriage
Family sitting by window

No one ever prepares you for the moment you hear your spouse has cancer.   More so, no one prepares for you to hear this when you have a 5-month-old at home. “Mom, they said the tumor is cancerous, and they need to enucleate his eye on Thursday,” I say quietly into the phone as I pump in a dirty bathroom stall at the eye hospital.   Whir. Whir. Whir. Whir. Gosh, I hate pumping.  Today is my first day being away from my daughter. My mom is watching her while I made the trip to the eye hospital with...

Keep Reading