My husband and I just had our first night away from our children in over a year. We’ve had simple overnight trips planned before this one, but they always fell through for various reasons: sick kids, issues with work, a freaking global pandemic—if you name it, then we’ve had it cancel our plans. It got to the point I was about ready to just give up putting any more effort into aligning our schedules, childcare, everyone’s health, setting money aside, and booking a trip. I was putting in so much effort for it just to be dashed every time, for over a year.
Do you hear me whining? It’s because I am. (First-world problems, I know.)
Well, somehow the stars aligned, Satan decided to thwart someone else’s plans for the weekend, no one was sick even amongst the coronavirus chaos, my husband took the day off, and we had someone to watch our kids. I couldn’t believe it. To say I was excited could possibly be the understatement of the year.
But then the weekend started creeping up on me. With each day that passed, I started listing off all the reasons we didn’t need to spend a night away from the kids.
What if one of them gets sick? What if we bring coronavirus back into our home? What if the baby won’t eat while we are gone? What if she won’t sleep? I worked so hard to get her on a schedule, and I sure didn’t want that messed up. Should we really spend this much money on a simple two-day trip? Shouldn’t we just spend time with the family members who are watching the kids that we don’t get to see that often anyway?
All the what-ifs hanging in the balance before me were daunting. Did I want a night away and time with my husband? Absolutely. Did I want to go through all the effort it takes just to have that one night away? No, not really. I already had enough on my plate.
Well, let me tell you, sister, it was more than worth it.
All the wondering and worrying and what-ifs were gone the moment we hit the road. My husband and I got to spend quality time together outside our home. We ate at a real restaurant, not Mcdonald’s. There were no crying children. We stayed out until after dark. I forgot what cities look like at night. We went for ice cream. We took a nap at four o’clock in the afternoon. We answered to no one but each other for a day and a half and not only was it every bit of glorious, it was needed.
The busyness of life makes us put our marriage on the back burner more often than I like to admit, but this quick trip made me realize I can’t let that happen anymore. Yes, I am mama, but I am also wife, and I was wife first. My children need to see us putting in extra effort to keep our marriage alive, happy, and afloat. I want my kids to see that it takes planning, and even more than that it takes desire, to make things work.
As much as I love being mama, I don’t want to lose myself so much in my children that when they move out my husband and I are strangers.
Mama, don’t let all the lingering, listed to-dos overwhelm you to the point that you don’t even want to try to invest in your marriage. As hard as it is to set aside time, money, and align everything else in order to get just a measly one night away–do it. Don’t think twice about it. You will thank yourself for it in the end.
I’m sure of it.