Dear Brand-New Mama, I See You

Dear brand-new mama,

I see you.

I see you at the doctor’s office. Cradling a new tiny life in your arms, sweetly whispering comforting words as your own heart pounds out of your chest, worry lines creasing your forehead.

I see you.

I see you in the restaurant, trying to discreetly latch your little one, not wanting to draw attention from those around you. Wondering if it might have been easier just to have dinner at home but longing to spend time outside of your house.

I see you.

I see you at the grocery store, attempting to get through your list as fast as you possibly can while trying to soothe your unhappy little person. With each cry, you drop another item from your list and only grab the essentials. I see you juggling it all . . . the car seat, the diaper bag, and the grocery bags as you make your way back to the car.

I see you.

I see you at church, trying your hardest to stay awake as you sit quietly in the pew, your exhausted body rhythmically swaying back and forth, lulling your baby into a slumber.

I see you.

I see you questioning your decisions. Worrying if all that you are doing and all that you are giving is enough. I see you fighting back tears when someone asks if you are enjoying every minute of this new experience called motherhood. I see you wracked with guilt when you ask someone else to take care of your precious baby so you can get a few hours to yourself.

When you look in the mirror, you might just see the bags under your eyes. Or the t-shirt that has days of spit-up and who knows what else staining the front. Or the hair that hasn’t seen a drop of shampoo in five days. Or the body that has been put through so much and hasn’t bounced back quite the way you had hoped it would. You might not even recognize yourself anymore.

But when I see you, brand-new mama?

I see courage.

I see strength.

I see unfailing love.

I see dedication.

I see selflessness.

I see resiliency.

I see determination.

Maybe you don’t recognize those things in yourself just yet. Maybe you are still struggling to find your footing in your role as a new mama. Maybe you are feeling lost and unsure. I was there once, too.

But someday, I promise you . . . you will see a brand-new mama, and you will see the same things in her that I see in you now.

Seeing that new mama will flood you with memories. You will remember how hard it was. How exhausting it was. How you had so many questions, and sometimes not enough answers. But you will also remember your triumphs. You will remember how fiercely you loved and protected that new little life. You will remember the sacrifices you made…the sacrifices you would go back and make over and over again. You will remember how you persevered through the sleepless nights, and the colicky cries, and the rollercoaster of emotions. You will be able to look back on this time, and know you gave it everything you had and then some. You will be proud of the mother you have become, and the mother that you have been from day one.

I see you.

I see your greatness.

I hope you can see it, too.