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Dear Husband, Thank You For Loving My Broken Heart

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By Christina Zambrano

Woman holding memorial lantern, color photo — Image via Christina Zambrano

Loving a woman who has experienced trauma in her life isn’t always easy. The baggage she is carrying around is much heavier than any overstuffed purse you have found yourself holding outside of a dressing room door. She will try to carry the baggage on her own, clumsily fumbling under its weight, not wanting to burden you with it. Being the man you are, you inevitably take some of the weight from her shoulders and put it on your own. The heaviness nearly takes your breath away.

RELATED: Grief is a Constant Companion for the Mother Who’s Lost a Child

My husband is an amazing father to our 11-year-old son, but I’m not at all surprised. I knew he would be a great father long before we had a child together because I saw how great a stepfather he was to my first son. I know what you are thinking, there are many men out there who are amazing stepfathers, what is so special about this story?

Well, my husband never got a chance to meet my first son because before he entered my life, my son Dylan passed away shortly after birth.

The day Dylan died a piece of me died too. I no longer had a whole heart to give to someone because a part of mine was forever gone with my son. It’s a strange thing to be the mother of a baby who is no longer alive. You never get to parent in the traditional sense of things like teaching them to read or disciplining them when they made a mistake.

The way I parent Dylan is much different than how I parent my son who is alive. It looks and feels different. It is speaking his name and acknowledging he is my firstborn son. It is working on changing the way the world treats bereaved parents. It is walking beside other families who have to walk this journey as well. It is paying for a stranger’s birthday cake at our local bakery every March 20th for as long as I live.

RELATED: The Loss Mom Club

I remember the first time I told my husband, who was my boyfriend at the time, about Dylan. I was afraid of showing him both my physical and emotional scars, afraid to scare him away. He held my hand as he listened to my story and immediately asked me what his name is.

No one has ever wanted to know my deceased baby’s name, but he did.

When the pain of our first miscarriage together was too much for me to handle, my husband held me up.

When I dealt with extreme fear and anxiety during our next pregnancy, he held me and reassured me. Never once did he tell me to forget or get over what I had been through. We welcomed our son and our hearts rejoiced.

RELATED: Thank You For Not Forgetting My Child Who Died

When I finally had Dylan’s ashes buried he helped me with the funeral expenses and was there praying for me, holding me as I wept.

When I formed a team to walk in Dylan’s honor he wore the #teamDylan shirt and walked beside me.

It’s a strange title to be given, stepfather of a child no longer alive, but he does it with love and compassion.

Loving a woman who has experienced the loss of a child, whether it was a miscarriage or years later, is knowing that you are giving your whole heart to someone who is missing a piece of hers and loving her anyway.

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child loss dear husband Grief Husband I love you loss loss mom Love loving my broken heart marriage my broken heart

Christina Zambrano

Christina Zambrano is a wife, mom, and full-time worker who balances her busy life while maintaining a mini homestead, complete with a garden and chickens. Passionate about self-sustainability and faith, Christina loves sharing her journey toward living a more independent lifestyle (while relying on Jesus). She also opens up about real-life challenges, such as addiction and loss, offering support and hope to those facing similar struggles. Her writing has been published on Her View From Home, Girl Defined, and more.

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Dear Husband, Thank You For Loving My Broken Heart

RELATED: Grief is a Constant Companion for the Mother Who’s Lost a Child

Well, my husband never got a chance to meet my first son because before he entered my life, my son Dylan passed away shortly after birth.

RELATED: The Loss Mom Club

No one has ever wanted to know my deceased baby’s name, but he did.

RELATED: Thank You For Not Forgetting My Child Who Died

If you liked this, you'll love our book, SO GOD MADE A GRANDMA

Christina Zambrano

I Can’t Remember Her Laugh Anymore

I Tried To Call My Mom Today

Farewell My Father: Walking the Trail of Beauty in Old Age

Sometimes Healing Doesn’t Look Like Moving On

Now that You’re Gone, I Sit In This Waiting Room Alone

She Was the Glue That Held Our Family Together

My Parents Will Never See This Face

The Due Date that Never Comes

Repotting Myself: What My One‑Armed Grandpa Taught Me About Growing Anyway

When I Look In the Mirror, I See My Mother

Get It Now

So God Made a Mother

Dear Husband, Thank You For Loving My Broken Heart

Well, my husband never got a chance to meet my first son because before he entered my life, my son Dylan passed away shortly after birth.

No one has ever wanted to know my deceased baby’s name, but he did.

If you liked this, you'll love our book, SO GOD MADE A GRANDMA

I Can’t Remember Her Laugh Anymore

I Tried To Call My Mom Today

Farewell My Father: Walking the Trail of Beauty in Old Age

Sometimes Healing Doesn’t Look Like Moving On

Now that You’re Gone, I Sit In This Waiting Room Alone

She Was the Glue That Held Our Family Together

My Parents Will Never See This Face

The Due Date that Never Comes

Repotting Myself: What My One‑Armed Grandpa Taught Me About Growing Anyway

When I Look In the Mirror, I See My Mother

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