I apologize, somewhere between becoming a mom, growing a business, owning a house, managing an acreage and doing ALL THE THINGS I forgot to put YOU at the top of my list.
We have felt the distance begin to wedge itself between us. And I know at times, both of us have considered that maybe we just no longer have common interests. But that is simply NOT true. The fact is that I got my priorities in the wrong order. Instead of putting you first, I have let other things slide into that place.
Today I recognize that, apologize to you, and ask for your help.
When I start going 100 miles per hour toward our goals and you notice my attention starts to shift, I ask that you remind me to slow down. Help me to find an opportunity to lay my head in your lap and watch a movie with you curled up like we used to. Look for the chance to place your hand on my mine while we drive together in the car. At night instead of just saying goodnight and walking out, tuck me in and lay with me.
When I am overwhelmed as a mother, remind me that together we are doing a damn good job and that it takes both of us (and then some) to raise a child. Help me to remember that family time is more enjoyable when you and I approach it as a team. Look for opportunities for us to participate in an activity that our son comes along for the ride, instead of him getting all of my attention.
When the to-do list around the house begins to consume me, step in and help me prioritize what is important at the moment. We both know it can’t all get done and that we have to let some things go. Remind me of the fun that we can have simply doing house tasks together and don’t forget to touch my butt!
When the desire to grow our family turns into an item on the to-do list, caress me, kiss me, and pursue me in the bedroom. As much as I want to believe it hasn’t, my body has changed since we first met. Help me to feel that chemistry that we both know is in there and bring it out of me. When I say “I am too tired” pull out all your tricks and try new ones before you feel defeated.
When you have thoughts or feelings weighing you down, be brave enough to initiate a conversation with me. There is a good chance I am feeling something similar and am just as scared as you are to bring it up. No matter what it may be I will be there by your side.
And in return, I will pay attention to your signs and will be there to remind you to slow down when you feel overwhelmed. I will hold your hand first and then reach for our son’s hand next. You will get the first “Honey, you’re home” kiss and then our son will get his. I will sit and talk with you about your day before I worry about the dishes. I will look you in the eye and be present in the moments I share with you.
I vow from here on out, I will wake up every day and remind myself that YOU come first. That ALL the other things in life, do NOT matter, if I don’t have you at the top of my list. I apologize that it has taken me this long to figure it out and thank you for hanging in there with me. I vow to make you my number one priority for the rest of my life because in the end, all we both want is to feel loved.
Your apologetic wife