Hello, you young thing,

I saw a picture of you the other day, a picture of you standing by a pool drinking a margarita. And when I saw it, I was filled with quite a bit of emotion.

On the one hand, I miss you a little bit. OK, I miss you a lot. You were thin and fit, naturally. You didn’t have small lines all over your face, mostly because you weren’t ever very sleep deprived. Your teeth were whiter because you weren’t drinking coffee like water at this point. You had so much time to take care of yourself, and your youth was evident.

Also, the things I would do for a margarita right now.

Anyway, as I looked at that picture I started to remember that day a little more clearly. I remember going out to a street dance that night wearing the same outfit I had on in that picture. And you know what? I remember picking you apart that day. I shamed you and criticized you. I look back now and think, “What was I thinking? Why didn’t I enjoy that body while I had it?”

The truth is, you were never good enough in my mind.

And I just wanted to say, I am so sorry for how I treated you. I was so focused on the wrong things.

I promise I’m trying to make it up to you now.

Here is the thing, pre-baby body, you end up doing some INCREDIBLE things. Things you never ever thought you could do. You shocked me, actually, with the insane amount of strength you had that I never knew existed.

Sure, you might have been able to lift heavier weights and run (way) longer distances than post-baby body, but you end up creating human lives, children you get to love and enjoy forever.

The whole process is the most miraculous and exhausting experience you will ever know, but it’s incredible.

And all along, up until that first baby came, I thought the purpose of you was to look a certain way, or to be something that’s admired. I was so, so wrong.

You were created to bring life.

You don’t know it yet, but the best parts are coming. You do amazing things and I end up treating you better and appreciating you way more. And not because of how you look, but for what you’ve done for me.

So, although I sometimes wish I looked more like you again, the truth is I would never trade my post-baby body for you.

I love you and appreciate you, but you are gone now and I’m OK with that.

Thanks for getting me here.

Love always,
The older, marked up, stretched out and more joy-filled version of you

Kelli Bachara

Kelli is a mental health therapist, momma to two (one currently cooking in the womb), and wife to an amazing man with a cool name, Rocco. Kelli loves 90s pop rock, Hallmark Christmas movies, her dog Winnie, and Jesus (in reverse order).