A Gift for Mom! 🤍

Last Sunday, I was prepared to write a column about why kids shouldn’t participate in 4-H. It was a hot day on the first morning of the Phelps County Fair, and things were not going well.

My daughter had already cried about the fashion show the previous week, and my son had lost his 4-H model rocket in a cornfield during a test launch.

I was not looking forward to a week of watching kids lead stinky animals around an arena, and for what reason? I didn’t grow up with 4-H animals (except for a few years of showing my large, untamed dog). I am a 4-H outsider, and I often don’t understand it.

While some moms love spending the day in a pig barn visiting with passersby, that’s the last place I want to be on a hot summer day. There are so many rules and traditions that I don’t yet understand, but here’s what I do know.

By the end of the week, it made more sense. Grandparents and relatives from near and far came to watch the kids show animals and to enjoy the carnival rides, face painting and funnel cakes. It was actually fun!

But, most of all, I realized that the fair brought families together. I saw 4-H moms, dads and kids all working together to clean animal pens, serve snow cones and volunteer for just about everything. Many 4-H volunteers, including my husband, take a week away from work just to volunteer! It’s hard work, but families are working together.

FAMILIES WORKING TOGETHER!

Not sitting in separate rooms playing games on the Ipad, watching “The Middle” in the living room and checking email in the office. To truly appreciate the work, you would have to witness the fair clean-up in the hour after the auction ends. While it’s probably everybody’s least favorite part of the fair, it’s incredible to see hundreds of 4-H kids and parents grab shovels and brooms and clean sheep barns, pig pens, rabbit cages and the cattle building.

And, while some parts of the fair still seem “unfair” and don’t make sense to me, it ended up being a positive overall experience, and the kids learned a few valuable life lessons throughout the week:

  • Enjoy the journey. Yes, my daughter was somewhat disappointed with the blue ribbon she earned on the dress she sewed. But, she did enjoy the 13 hours she spent with grandma this summer making the dress and a matching purse. And, now she has a cute new dress to wear!
  • Sometimes you win. Sometimes you lose. Every time a group of kids enters the show ring with their animal, someone is first in class and someone is last. That’s a lot of firsts and lasts and a lot of chances for kids to learn how to win humbly and lose gracefully.
  • Learn from your mistakes. After my son and I spent many hours working together on his rocket this summer, it got lost in a 12-foot-tall cornfield on its first test launch before the fair. But, compared to all the work and money put into the Challenger space shuttle and the lives lost when it exploded on its launch, the model rocket was nothing. My son was able to build another rocket and complete his project.
  • You grow from being pushed outside your comfort zone. My oldest son earned the opportunity to be in a senior showmanship competition to show pigs, sheep, cattle and goats. He had never shown cattle or goats before and was begging to not be in the competition. But looking back on the fair, he said that was his favorite part. He left with a new sense of confidence.
  • Work hard and then play. Dairy Queen blizzards and Lake Mac! After the hard work is done, the fun begins!

Sozo American Cuisine

So God Made a Grandmother book by Leslie Means

If you liked this, you'll love our book, SO GOD MADE A GRANDMA

Order Now!

Kristine Jacobson

Kristine Jacobson is a writer, a mother of three children and farm wife living in South-Central Nebraska. She puts her creative skills to use as editor of Nebraska Family Magazine at www.nebraskafamilymagazine.com and helps non-profits and small businesses share their stories in her public relations business, KRJPR.

Why Don’t We Talk About Jonah’s Mother?

In: Faith, Living, Motherhood
Woman standing over water

Praying for My Son Send a storm to stop him; Let his friends throw him out. May he drop to the deeps, But gently, please, Stubborn though he may be. If it could only take three days, How my mother’s heart would Rejoice in praise.  From the hell you allow him, Let him cry to you. Is not Nineveh and mercy Exactly what he knows He needs— A mercy on enemies He fears You will concede? Please let all the shade wither If his is an angry soul; Humble him and help him follow Where you would have his purpose...

Keep Reading

I Never Got to Meet My Grandmother on This Side of Heaven

In: Living
Old black and white family photo

Grandmother, I never met you this side of Heaven, but I feel as though I have. Your pictures, scattered throughout my mother’s home, tell your story. Born to a woman who came to this country alone when she was just 16, you would be the youngest of four, with two sisters and a brother. Your short, dark, straight hair clings to your little face, a line of bangs neatly combed high on your forehead. You couldn’t be more than three years old as you sit on a stool at your sister’s First Holy Communion. The black and white photo makes...

Keep Reading

The Hardest Part of Divorce Is Being Away from My Kids

In: Living, Marriage, Motherhood
Woman in driver's seat

I’ve written several times about how divorce has allowed me to find myself again, and how that version is even better than the one I was before I was married. All of that is still true. I am happier than I’ve ever been. More confident and sure of myself. I understand my emotions and how to handle myself when things get tough or scary. I am more grounded and calm than I’ve ever been. Truly, I have come out on top. I’ve received comments about how happy I look, how I’m “living my best life with kids only half the...

Keep Reading

My Dad Gave Us Something Money Never Could

In: Living
Family smiling in posed photo

I was talking with my dad the other day about an upcoming Disney trip with our kids. I told him all we planned to do while we were there and how excited the kids were. He sat and listened, taking it all in. And then he said something that put a lump in my throat. “I’m so glad you’re able to give your kids the life that I couldn’t.” He went on to say he still carries some guilt–that he wishes he could have done more, taken us on trips, given us experiences he couldn’t. Hearing that broke my heart....

Keep Reading

Dear Daddy, I Wish You Could See Yourself As We Do

In: Living, Marriage
father with two young children

The side of my husband who is hardest on himself usually shows up late at night. The house is quiet, the kids are finally asleep, and the day has done what it always does—taken everything it could from both of us. That’s usually when it comes out. The voice in his head that tells him he’s not doing enough as a father. Not present enough. Not patient enough. Not good enough. He doesn’t say it lightly. He says it like someone confessing a truth he wishes wasn’t true. Like he’s already measured himself against some invisible standard of fatherhood and...

Keep Reading

Mothers and Stepmothers: Who’s on First?

In: Living
Little girl looking through fingers

The roles. The expectations. The unspoken, undefined rules. The hurt feelings no one wants to talk about. It could be a scene from an old Abbott and Costello routine: “Who’s on first?” Motherhood is rarely clear-cut. And if you’ve ever tried to navigate life alongside a stepmother—or as one—you know how quickly things can become complicated. Add a stepmother to the mix, and suddenly it’s a relay race where no one’s quite sure who’s holding the baton, or if anyone wants it. This isn’t a story about winners and losers or choosing sides. It isn’t about who is right or...

Keep Reading

Do We Really Want a ’90s Summer?

In: Living
Girl holding popsicle

The year is 2026: we’re inviting thousands of strangers to get ready with us, threatening our own deaths on a lot of different hills and, if you’re a millennial mom, determined to have a ’90s summer. Some top to-dos on the ’90s mom summer checklist? Lots of outside play, limited screens, less hustle, more simplicity. Overall, evoking the “carefree” summers of the 1990s. But did anyone ever ask the real ‘90s moms if summers back then were all we’re cracking them up to be? If my own memory serves me right, my parents talked a whole lot about summers in...

Keep Reading

To the Woman Who Was Betrayed

In: Living, Marriage
Woman looking off to the fog

He promised you a lifetime, a family, safety, and security. You carried life and brought it into this world for him. Even still, in the trenches of postpartum, he betrayed you. It was never your fault. This is something I’ve fought to tell myself every single day since the day I discovered my marriage was never meant to last. Because the truth is, betrayal is never about you; it’s about them, and the character flaws deep within they’d rather bury than face. He watched as you fought for your life after delivery while your tiny, premature newborn spent the first...

Keep Reading

5 Things I’m Learning about 50

In: Living
birthday balloons

When my dad turned 80, he—and we, by default—celebrated all year. My sister made a fantastic, larger-than-life sign of him posing in front of his friend’s antique car, with beautiful calligraphy that trumpeted, “Cheers to you, celebrating 80 years of life!” The sign welcomed his closest friends and family into a private room at a steakhouse, where we toasted his 80 years—and the grandkids toasted his steady presence in their lives. The sign moved from the swanky steakhouse to the second-floor banister in my parents’ house. When you walked in, it greeted you—a feel-good conversation starter and a reminder to...

Keep Reading

I’m Constantly Waiting for the Metaphorical Axe To Fall

In: Living
Woman worried with head in lap

I knew people died. I just didn’t think it applied to us. Mortality met me in grade two with a punch to the gut when my teacher confirmed casually that, yes, everybody dies. What do you mean, everybody dies? I frantically thought, but kept my question to myself. Up until that moment, I had quietly believed my family was exempt from that fate. I thought death was a monster that only took other people and left my family alone. They say all panic has an origin story, and mine began shortly after that realization, fueled by a disconnected phone cord...

Keep Reading