Our Keepsake Journal is Here! 🎉

I remember the day I truly learned what my dad did for a living. I was 14, and he took me for a ride-along. The first call we got seemed like an easy call, there was a homeless man being disruptive, and I thought OK, my dad’s going to help. As I was watching from the car, I saw the homeless man pull a knife out and pointed it at my father, and that’s when I realized . . . my dad could die doing what he does for his paycheck. 

My dad’s a cop.

Growing up as a child, I never really understood what his job meant except that he wore a cool uniform, and he’d come to my classroom every once in a while to talk about seatbelt safety and wearing your bike helmet. I never saw the gun, it went straight into the safe when he got home.

Even when I was five years old and he was in a near-fatal car accident on the job, it didn’t occur to me what he did.

I later learned that that accident was caused by a woman hallucinating on meth who said her boyfriend was trying to kill her. My dad responded to what he thought was a life or death call, and even though his sirens were on, he was hit by a driver who was trying to run a red light. 

RELATED: What This Police Wife Wants Her Friends to Know

Years later, a friend of mine’s sister was murdered at the age of 15. The brutality of her murder was the worst murder our city had seen in years. I remember thinking, what about that poor cop who walked into this? He was responding to a welfare check and had no idea what he’d see and could never unsee. That was the first time I thought about something like that, the first time I thought, Wow, what if my dad was the cop who saw that? How much could that mess a person up?

That’s the thing not everyone thinks about. Soldiers, yes, but no one ever thinks about PTSD when it comes to cops, firefighters, or EMTs. For a cop, it’s not just pulling you over for a speeding ticket or issuing DUIs. It’s responding to domestic disputes and comforting the child who was abused by their parents. It’s responding to a call about a missing child and finding the worst-case scenario has become reality. It’s responding to a suicidal person who’s on the brink of ending their lives and not being able to change their mind or get to them in time. 

A cop cannot unsee the brutal things people in this world do to each other. It’s there forever.

Did my dad bring the job home with him? You better believe it. There were nights where his mind couldn’t leave the crime scene. Days where he came home angry because of the trauma he dealt with all day long.

RELATED: I’m Married To a Police Officer, and So Often I Feel Alone

Were things harder for me as a child because of it? Oh, yes, they were. My father needed to know the names of my friends’ parents before I could have a playdate in case he had arrested them at some point (yes, that happened once). My friends teased me in high school because of it and assumed I was a goody two shoes (so of course I tried to prove them wrong and rebelled). 

Some dads have office jobs. Some dads work in manufacturing or the service industry. Some dads are doctors or lawyers. And some dads put their lives on the line to save others. Whether it’s a soldier, cop, fireman, or EMTtheir job is saving people. We call them heroes or at least we used to call cops heroes until recently. 

Yes, there are a lot of corrupt cops who abuse their power, but I’m not here to list out all of the bad cops out there.

I don’t want to talk about all the bad ones because I think we’ve heard enough about them lately.

No, I’m here to tell you about a good one, the one I call dad.

The good cop who instead of charging a little boy with shoplifting, bought the item the kid tried to steal as well as new shoes because he could tell the little boy’s family was poor. But you never hear about those types of stories. 

RELATED: “This Is Our Everyday Shift”- See This Police Officer’s Hidden Moment of True Servanthood

My dad was a cop for over 25 years before retiring, and every day, he strapped that gun on his hip and prayed he wouldn’t have to use it. It was putting the badge on to protect and serve, praying he would respond to the call for help before it was too late. It was praying every day that he’d return home when his shift was off, and then it was the paranoia that his day job didn’t follow him home at night.

So please pray for our soldiers, our firefighters, EMTs, and pray for our cops too because there is no unseeing what they see every day. 

And what they see is a broken world.

So God Made a Mother book by Leslie Means

If you liked this, you'll love our book, SO GOD MADE A MOTHER available now!

Order Now

Check out our new Keepsake Companion Journal that pairs with our So God Made a Mother book!

Order Now
So God Made a Mother's Story Keepsake Journal

Her View From Home

Millions of mothers connected by love, friendship, family and faith. Join our growing community. 1,000+ writers strong. We pay too!   Find more information on how you can become a writer on Her View From Home at https://herviewfromhome.com/contact-us/write-for-her//

Hello from the Other Side of 40

In: Living
Woman holding up 4 and 3 fingers on her hands

Facing 40 birthday candles? Let me tell you why your future is even brighter than those birthday cake flames, but first, I’ll also tell you—I get the big deal about turning 40. Facing that lofty milestone wasn’t fun for me. The dread started early when I was a young 37, and a sibling turned 40. I’m next! I realized, and I pouted and whined at the thought for the next three years. All of that bad behavior couldn’t keep me in my 30s though, and honestly, it left me a little embarrassed. Though this earthly tent is showing obvious signs...

Keep Reading

Having Kids Shows Who Your Real Friends Are

In: Friendship, Motherhood
Mother and child walking through forest, color photo

Any mom, typical or special needs, will tell you having kids is the fastest way to tell who your real friends are. When your child is born with special needs this process becomes even more severe and obvious. At first, people visit and want to hold the baby, but once the delays kick in slowly people start to pull away. Disability makes them uncomfortable. That’s the truth. They hope you won’t notice, but you do. Honestly, most stop trying altogether. It’s not just friends who act this way either, sometimes it’s family too. That hurts the most. As a parent...

Keep Reading

Why Doesn’t Anyone Talk about How Hard Adult Friendships Are?

In: Friendship, Living
Woman sitting along on couch looking at smartphone

The scary thing about friendship is it’s completely disposable. You actively choose to remain friends. It can dissolve at any time. No one can force you into it. In marriage, you are bound to one another before God. As a parent, you have a familial obligation to your child. But friendship? That comes completely free and clear. You intentionally let them in, let them see your underbelly. Your messy house. Your imperfect marriage. Your rebellious children. Your weirdness, your quirks, your sin. And they can walk away at any moment. Oh, there are a few exceptions. Maybe you work together....

Keep Reading

The Last Text I Sent Said “I Love You”

In: Friendship, Grief, Living
Soldier in dress uniform, color photo

I’ve been saying “I love you” a lot recently. Not because I have been swept off my feet. Rather, out of a deep appreciation for the people in my life. My children, their significant others, and friends near and far. I have been blessed to keep many faithful friendships, despite the transitions we all experience throughout our lives.  Those from childhood, reunited high school classmates, children of my parent’s friends (who became like family), and those I met at college, through work and shared activities. While physical distance has challenged many of these relationships, cell phones, and Facebook have made...

Keep Reading

Being a Hands-on Dad Matters

In: Kids, Living
Dad playing with little girl on floor

I am a hands-on dad. I take pride in spending time with my kids. Last week I took my toddler to the park. He’s two and has recently outgrown peek-a-boo, but nothing gets him laughing like him seeing me pop into the slide to scare him as he goes down. He grew to like this so much that he actually would not go down the slide unless he saw me in his range of vision going down. When it’s time to walk in the parking lot he knows to hold my hand, and he grabs my hand instinctively when he needs help...

Keep Reading

Finding My Confidence in Learning to Enjoy Exercise

In: Living
Woman at exercise class, color photo

This picture is of me, noticeably overweight, attending a silks class. This is something I’ve always wanted to do, but I looked noticeably out of place in my XL frame, compared with the other women in their size two Lululemon leggings. At one point, before we began, I actually quietly asked the instructor if there was a weight limit. She reassured me that people a lot heavier than me had hung from their ceiling on those silks. Before we started hanging from the ceiling, the instructor had us all sit in a circle and introduce ourselves and our goal for...

Keep Reading

Dear Mom, Until We Meet Again

In: Grown Children, Living
Daughter hugs elderly mother from behind outside

Mom, I pray to the stars that someday, somewhere we pick up where we left off. Before the Alzheimer’s diagnosis. Before your life, my life, and our family’s life changed forever. If we meet again, will you appear just as I remember you before this awful disease took over? With ebony black hair, vibrant blue eyes, and a gracious smile. Will you look at me and know I am your daughter? Will you refer to me by my beloved childhood nickname? RELATED: The One Thing Alzheimer’s Cannot Take Away Will you embrace me in a warm hug and tell me...

Keep Reading

Somewhere Between Wife and Mom, There Is a Woman

In: Living, Motherhood
Woman standing alone in field smiling

Sometimes, it’s hard to remember there is a woman behind the mom. At home, you feel caught between two worlds. Mom world and wife world. Sometimes it’s hard to balance both. We don’t exactly feel sexy in our leggings and messy mom bun. We don’t feel sexy at the end of the day when we are mentally, emotionally, and physically exhausted from being a mom all day. The truth is we want to feel like ourselves again. We just aren’t sure where we fit in anymore. RELATED: I Fear I’ve Lost Myself To Motherhood We know the kids only stay...

Keep Reading

Friendship Looks Different Now That Our Kids Are Older

In: Friendship, Living, Motherhood
Two women and their teen daughters, color photo

When my kids were young and still in diapers, my friends and I used to meet up at Chick-fil-A for play dates. Our main goal was to maintain our sanity while our kids played in the play area. We’d discuss life, marriage, challenges, sleep deprivation, mom guilt, and potty-training woes. We frequently scheduled outings to prevent ourselves from going insane while staying at home. We’d take a stroll around the mall together, pushing our bulky strollers and carrying diaper bags. Our first stop was always the coffee shop where we’d order a latte (extra espresso shot) and set it in...

Keep Reading

The Only Fights I Regret Are the Ones We Never Had

In: Living, Marriage
Couple at the end of a hallway fighting

You packed up your things and left last night. There are details to work out and lawyers to call, but the first step in a new journey has started. I feel equal parts sad, angry, scared, and relieved. There’s nothing left to fix. There’s no reconciliation to pursue. And I’m left thinking about the fights we never had. I came down the stairs today and adjusted the thermostat to a comfortable temperature for me. It’s a fight I didn’t consider worth having before even though I was the one living in the home 24 hours a day while you were...

Keep Reading