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To the annoyed mom at the store,

I wasn’t eavesdropping.

I was walking by to get my oatmeal and heard you tell your kids that you already can’t wait until school starts because they’re driving you insane.

Your face and your tone were not joking and I’m not judging you, girl. I get it.

It’s hard going from your kids being at school from 7:30-3:30 to having them at home all day, every day. Some parents have to find childcare all summer and worry about paying for that. Some worry about them being home alone or with a family member all day. Whatever the situation, it’s different. It’s not routine like school and it comes with challenges.

I get it.

I’ve been there. 

Going hours and sometimes days without any adult conversation outside of your spouse. Longing for just an hour alone or an uninterrupted trip to the bathroom. Wanting to hear your actual name instead of “MOM” for the 100th time. The extra messes, dishes, laundry, and discipline issues that come with summer days spent at home. Planning breakfasts and lunches that normally would be eaten at school. Having to come up with ways to fill the time that aren’t all centered around TVs and tablets.

It’s a lot to add to your already-full plate of being mom, wife, friend, and just a woman in 2019 where you feel like you have to be awesome at all the things.

It can be so frustrating. I get it.

But I’d give anything to have my kid home for the summer.

To hear “Mama” 400 times a day and to plan activities to fill our days. I wish I was worried about sunscreen, bug spray, swimsuits that fit, playdates, vacation planning, snacks, swim lessons . . . I wish I was doing that.

I’m not though. 

Instead, I’m visiting the cemetery where my daughter, who should be four, is buried.

I’m checking to see if the recent storms blew away her flowers or left dirt on the stone.

I’m telling her about my summer so far and how much I miss her.

So yes, I get it. Summer with kids at home can be busy, hectic, and at times frustrating. But in the midst of that—of doing all the things—find some time to play. To swim and have a picnic. To shoot a water gun or take a trip.

Play with your kids . . . and find a moment each day to be thankful even in the chaos.

Because you can.

Love,
A loss mom who truly does get it, but who also would give anything to have a summer like yours

Originally published on Sophie The Brave

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Shelby Skiles

Shelby Skiles is a wife, teacher, and mom to her two-year-old angel, Sophie. Sophie passed away in January 2018 from Lymphoma. Shelby chronicled Sophie’s entire battle through her blog Sophie The Brave and hopes that transparently sharing her journey through, motherhood, cancer, and now grief will inspire others to look passed their circumstances and see that God is bigger than all of it. She’s deeply committed to honoring Sophie’s memory by sharing her story and I spring others to ‘Do More’ and make a difference. 

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