The Sweetest Mother's Day Gift!

Dear daughter and son,

Let me start by saying how much I love you. You have made my life shine and sparkle. You are my sunshine after the rain, and I am humbled that God chose me to be your mother.

Dear daughter and son, let me now apologize to you. I was not ready. As much as I love you and wanted you, I wasn’t ready, but I have always been so grateful for you. Being a rainbow mom is hard and confusing, and at times, I know I got lost in my own head, but my heart was always clear and fully focused on you.

Dear daughter, we have had some rough times. There were times when I didn’t understand that becoming a big sister made you feel insecure. Or the times when you would cry non-stop because you didn’t have the words to tell me how you felt. I recall the tantrums and my frustration, and I wish we could do it all over again and get it right.

RELATED: To My Daughter When I Fail

Dear son, I see you struggling to find your place in this world. Being a baby brother hasn’t always been easy, but let me be very clear—your place is with us, the family God has given you. You brighten my world daily with your infectious laugh and mischievous grin. And we are all better because of you.

Daughter, you are so much like mea thought that makes me smile some days and grow wary on other days.

I see myself in youmy determination, my moodiness, my sensitivity, my ability to figure things out, and my tendency to overthink situations. I know all of these qualities may make it difficult to know where you fit in, but let me assure you of one thingYou belong where you have always been, with me, in my heart. There will be times when that won’t feel like enough, but I will use every opportunity I have to remind you of that.

Son, you are brave, so very brave, and I struggle every day to not let my fear of losing you hold you back. I want you to run free but could you please not run too far?

My precious daughter, you came to me just when I needed you the most. I needed to be taught patience and gentleness and how to put others before me. It wasn’t your job to do that, but you have done so effortlessly. And for that I thank you. If ever I leaned on you too much, I am sorry.

Beautiful boy, no one gets me like you. You know exactly when I need to be hugged and kissed.

The fact that even after I discipline you, you are never afraid to run into my arms is a daily reminder that no matter what, I can run to my Heavenly Father and like any parent, He will welcome me with open arms.

Sweet girl, as you grow older, life will test you. You will be pulled and tugged in so many directions. You will struggle to know which way to go. I pray I will be there to hold your hand as you figure it all out, but in case I am not, remember all that I have taught you about who you are, but even more importantly, about who God is. Run to Him.

RELATED: My Heart Was Waiting For a Son

My son, from the moment I learned of your existence, I purposed to do everything I could to protect you from harm. It was a lot easier back then, but as you grow older, I will have less and less control over the choices you make. So it is my hope that by guiding you while you are young I could spare you some pain in the future.

Daughter, there will be people who seem to go out of their way to hurt you, and even though I will give anything to protect you, there are important lessons that can be learned from dealing with difficult people. Learning to forgive, praying for those we find hard to love, and moving on from the past will only make you more equipped to recognize and receive those who genuinely love and care for you.

Son, my greatest prayer for you is that you grow to be the kind of man who loves the Lord and lives according to His word.

More than wealth or happiness, I pray you choose righteousness and see that all God has in store for you is far superior to any plans you can make for yourself.

My beautiful girl, you are so precious to me. When the boys come calling, promise me you will always know your worth. Not in dollars and sense or the cost of Daddy’s firearm but in the cross. The place where Christ died so you can have life and have it more abundantly.

Dearest son, let your character be the most attractive thing about you. Your handsome face and dazzling smile will not be enough for a woman who truly knows herself. But a meaningful connection with God, honesty, integrity, and respect will be.

RELATED: Let Us Raise Boys Who Have Respect Running Through Their Veins

My precious children, I want you to love each other. After we are gone, you will only have each other to help guard all your memories of us. There will be broken hearts and bruised egos, and you will need each other to help you through it all. You will fightbe angry, but please don’t let too much time go by before you make it right . . . even if you must agree to disagree.

You will have jobs you hate and those you love, work hard either way.

You won’t love everyone but be kind regardless. Respect won’t cost you anything, but it comes with huge rewards.

I may not agree with every choice you make, but I promise my love for you will never fade, and there will always be room at my table for us to talk it out.

One day you will go on to launch families of your own and maybe even have children of your own. Maybe this will all come easy to you or maybe you will have to work a little harder. However it all comes, I hope you will see it as your most important work. To love and to be loved. To teach and instruct a new family you will love as much as I have loved you.

Finally, I want you both to know that no matter the road that led to us becoming mother and child, you were always my destiny. I may get sad thinking about things that have happened but never about being your mother. I know that before I was even born, we were meant to be. So let’s learn and grow, argue and makeup. Keep pushing me and challenging me, and I will keep loving and instructing you. And when all things have been said and done, we will forever be a part of each other. Forever your mother, forever my children.

So God Made a Grandmother book by Leslie Means

If you liked this, you'll love our book, SO GOD MADE A GRANDMA

Order Now!

Natasha Carlow

Natasha is a wife and mother of two amazing rainbow babies. She resides in Trinidad and Tobago and is the author of the award-winning Happy Tears and Rainbow Babies which tells the story of how faith brought healing and hope to her family after the pain and loss of miscarriages. She is a contributing writer at https://pregnancyafterlosssupport.org/ and you can follow her thoughts on motherhood after loss on her blog at natashacarlow.com or on Facebook and Instagram.

Your Worth Is Not Someone Else’s To Measure

In: Faith, Living
Woman looking over canyon

Insecurity is something we all carry in one form or another. For me, it has probably always looked confident and outgoing from the outside. But internally, it can feel heavy, complicated, and exhausting at times. And when someone comes along whose behavior reinforces those insecurities, it amplifies what was already there. There was someone I had hoped to genuinely connect with, but it was clear from the start that the feeling wasn’t mutual. From the beginning, their wall was up. No matter how kind I tried to be or how carefully I showed up, it never came down. Their distance...

Keep Reading

Lord, Give Me Faith Like Hannah

In: Faith
Woman walking in field with hand in wheat

Hannah knew what it was like to feel forgotten. She often clutched her empty womb and thought Surely the Lord has forgotten me.  She knew the bitter sting of feeling isolated and alone. She knew the anguish of praying day after day after day and seeing no fruit, not even a bud, from her faithfulness. Hannah knew what it was like to feel like the weight of the world was on her, and her hope may have dwindled. Even those around her did not offer encouragement. Quite the opposite—they did their best to sow seeds of discouragement. Yet Hannah pressed...

Keep Reading

God Carries Me Through the Deep Waters of Change

In: Faith, Living, Motherhood
Woman at the beach as waves come in

“Ahhh!” My underwater scream garbled in my snorkel tube as the manta ray’s cavernous mouth swept a hand’s distance from my face. My fingers tightened around the surfboard until my knuckles ached. My arms trembled. I jerked my head side to side, searching for my daughters, Mia and Megan. Recent college graduates, they had joined me on one last mother-daughter vacation before launching their adult lives. They floated easily on the vibrant Hawaiian water, relaxed, trusting. I wanted to borrow their calm. Earlier, our guide had explained that the LED lights built into the surfboard attracted plankton the way college...

Keep Reading

Faith After a Rare Disease Diagnosis

In: Faith, Motherhood
Family smiling in posed photo

My pastor frequently speaks of “kid pain” and acknowledges there’s nothing like it. I can testify to that. After nine months of uncertainty and unexplained issues following the birth of our now 4-year-old daughter, Harlow, we finally received her diagnosis of Pyruvate Dehydrogenase Complex Deficiency (PDCD), a life-limiting mitochondrial disease with no cure and no FDA-approved treatments. It was heartbreaking. In moments like these, a parent can fall into complete desperation. You go through a range of emotions almost too fast to name: fear for your child’s life; anxiousness about how much time you’ll get with them; overwhelming grief. And...

Keep Reading

What If I Don’t Hear God’s Voice?

In: Faith
Woman with folded hands looking up

There have been many times over the years when I’ve heard others share stories of how the Lord spoke to them or gave them a sign. Seashells scattered along a sandy beach, numbered to represent how many children they would have. A quiet walk in the park, followed by a clear sense that another little one was coming. What a blessing, I think, when I hear and read their stories. I often wonder how much more faith they must have than I do—to know with such certainty that what they heard was truly God speaking. I listen, I smile, and...

Keep Reading

God Holds You As You Hold Everyone Else

In: Faith, Motherhood
Mother holding toddler daughter on her hip, standing outside

She stands in the kitchen, hands trembling over the sink, tears she cannot let fall pressing behind her eyes. The world outside her window is quiet, but inside her heart there is a storm she cannot name. She is hurting, not because she does not love her life, but because somewhere along the way she forgot how to breathe inside it. Yet even in her pain, little voices call her name. Tiny hands tug at her shirt. Lunchboxes need packing, homework needs checking, hearts need holding. And so she wipes her face, forces a smile, and whispers a quiet prayer:...

Keep Reading

Yes, I Know Fear—but I Also Know Faith

In: Faith, Motherhood
Mother holding child's hands in hospital bed

The night my daughter woke up screaming at 3 a.m., I knew something was wrong. Her cry wasn’t the half-asleep whimper of a bad dream. Instead, it was pain—raw and sharp. Within an hour, we were rushing to the emergency room, the world outside our headlights still wrapped in darkness. Tests, scans, questions, and then the words no parent ever wants to hear: “We’re transferring her to another hospital by ambulance. She needs surgery right away.” They said “torsion.” They said “tumor.” They said “appendix.” I nodded, because that’s what mothers do. We stay steady, even when our hearts are...

Keep Reading

10 Years after My Mother’s Death, Her Faith Still Guides Me

In: Faith, Grief
Woman praying

Growing up, I was a reluctant Catholic. My mother would drag us to church, and I’d go through the motions—fingers moving across rosary beads without really feeling the prayers. But she never stopped. Sunday Mass, daily prayers, devotions to the Blessed Mother. She was relentless in her faith, not because she was trying to force it on us, but because she genuinely believed we would need it someday. She was right. My mother died of stage 4 colon cancer in 2012. My brother and I watched her suffer, saw how her body betrayed her, watched as treatments failed. And here’s...

Keep Reading

Finding God in the Middle of Disbelief: A Mom’s Journey through Faith and Fear

In: Faith
Mother holding hand of young child, silhouette

“But the Lord is with me like a mighty warrior; so my persecutors will stumble and not triumph over me.” – Jeremiah 20:11 God, thank You for making sure my son is okay. Thank You for this just being paranoia. I believe in You. I believe in Your control. I believe. I believe. I believe. These words streamed through my head as my husband drove us downtown to visit our first specialist with our 4-month-old son, Maximus. Our pediatrician had written me off, but I could not ignore the feeling in my bones that something was wrong. Tiny, hard bumps...

Keep Reading

In Praise of Indebtedness: How Threads of Reciprocity Weave Us Together

In: Faith, Living
Woman holding casserole

It all started with tomatoes. After we moved, a neighbor invited us to pick from the abundance in her and her husband’s gardens. In return for a pile of tomatoes gathered from their raised beds, I left a plastic bag of homegrown pumpkins on their porch. Later that summer, our neighbor stopped by with a recycled container full of still more fruits. By the fall, we were sharing chili and cookies over dinner at our place. Threads of indebtedness were weaving us together. For most of my life, the idea of indebtedness has tasted rather repulsive on my tongue. The...

Keep Reading