Free shipping on all orders over $75🎄

My parents split when I was seven years old.

I woke up one morning and found that my mom was gone. My dad told me she had gone to take care of my grandpa who was sick.

It was a lie. 

He didn’t know how to tell us that she left, that she wanted to be with another man.

Eventually, my parents divorced, and my brother and I gradually became used to the twice-a-month visits to my mom’s small apartment. 

And coming in second to whatever guy happened to be her latest fling.

RELATED: Just Because I’m From a Broken Home Doesn’t Mean I’m Broken

I felt, especially as I entered the teenage years, that I was a bother to my parents. One of them was worn out from trying to keep food on the table and didn’t have a clue as to how to connect with a hormonal girl, the other seemed to not want to deal with me at all.

So when, years later, I saw those two pink lines on the pregnancy test stick, I knew I had to be a different kind of parent to the baby inside me.

I made the decision to always act in such a way that she would never doubt that her mother cherished her and wanted the best for her.

Part of that decision was to leave my job and become a stay-at-home mom.

We were lucky in this regardwe didn’t have a lot of money, but we could live on just my husband’s salary. And that left me the ability to care for our daughter myself instead of leaving her in strangers’ hands all day.

RELATED: Growing Up in a Broken Home Gave Me a Longing For a Family of My Own

As she grew, we spent most of the time togetherreading books, playing with her dolls, going to story hour at the library and on walks around our neighborhood.

Most of this was a little boring to me, I have to admit. But to be able to share her interests with her and show her my attention was important to her.

Instead of going back to work when she entered school, I stayed at home so I could continue to make a comfortable home for her (and her daddy). 

It also gave me the opportunity to volunteer in her class from time to time or accompany her class on field trips. When her friends wistfully remarked on how they wished their moms could come visit them at school, my heart hurt for them.

Now my daughter is a middle schooler and our days are now spent talking through hormone issues, friend drama, and outfits she wants to wear.

I’m still there every day after school where she can pour her heart out to a friendly, sympathetic ear.

Some people might say I gave up my work opportunities unnecessarily, that I put my college degree to waste by becoming a stay-at-home mom. 

A cynical person might even accuse me of going overboard with my kids because I had mommy issues.

But for me, since I know firsthand just how painful it is to feel unnoticed by parents, I have a great desire to avoid inflicting that pain on anyone else . . . especially someone I care very deeply for, like my daughter.

RELATED: Kids With Divorced Parents Will Not Be OK 

So although it was not an easy thing to grow up with, I’m grateful for my experience as a child because it taught me to desire to be a better mother to my children. Eventually, that will cause me to launch two mentally and emotionally healthy and responsible adults into the worldpeople who will be able to make this world a better place.

So God Made a Mother book by Leslie Means

If you liked this, you'll love our new book, SO GOD MADE A MOTHER available now!

Order Now

Erin Myers

Erin Myers is a mom of two, married to her Marine veteran husband for almost 20 years. She was so overwhelmed when she first became a mother that she wanted to help other young moms avoid those feelings. She encourages moms in building happy families and homes at her blog My Mommy World. You can also find her on Facebook, Pinterest,  Instagram.

Sometimes Love is Filling the Empty Water Bottle

In: Marriage
Husband looking at wife, color photo

It was just another typical chaotic morning in our home. As I was about to run out the door to pick up our daughter from school, I noticed my husband’s empty water bottle sitting on the counter. In a split second, I had a choice. I could leave now and take my time walking out to the parking lot. Or, I could stop to fill the water bottle up and end up doing a rushed jog out there. I stopped and filled the water bottle. I took a minute, fully knowing it would add another 60 seconds of chaos to...

Keep Reading

Marriage Is Too Short to Fight over Trash Bags

In: Marriage
Man hugging woman in front of a window

It was a Sunday, and we had just returned from a hospital stay with our medically complex daughter. We needed a reset—one of those “all house chores get tackled in a day” type of resets. We needed a fresh start. Around mid-day, my husband Josh and I were both in full cleaning mode. The morning had been chaotic. Our daughter was struggling with seizures, and our son was still buzzing with excitement from two birthday parties he had attended the day before. As he begged for the banana bread in the oven to cook faster and for more episodes of...

Keep Reading

Your Husband Needs Friendship Too

In: Faith, Friendship, Marriage
3 men smiling outside

As the clock inches closer to 7:00 on a Monday evening, I pull out whatever dessert I had prepared that week and set it out on the kitchen counter. This particular week it’s a trifle, but other weeks it may be brownies, pound cake, or cookies of some kind. My eyes do one last sweep to make sure there isn’t a tripping hazard disguised as a dog toy on the floor and that the leftover dinner is put away. Then, my kids and I make ourselves scarce. Sometimes that involves library runs or gym visits, but it mostly looks like...

Keep Reading

Dear Husband, Some Days I Feel So Alone

In: Marriage, Motherhood
Woman holding toddler looking tired

Dear my love, I am sitting here at the table you built, back when time was plentiful, and money was sparse. Back when pre-drinks were always at our place, loving sleep-ins were abundant, and the days were our own. I wonder . . . back then, what we might have imagined our life would look like, 10 years later? Would we have pictured the white picket fence, the curly, fair-haired, sensitive little boy and cheeky little girl? We probably would have imagined that we would be hard working, but would we have pictured the deep-set exhaustion that is our day-to-day...

Keep Reading

I Never Thought I’d be Divorced…Twice

In: Living, Marriage
Woman walking away on boardwalk alone

Divorced. I never thought it’d be me. Especially twice divorced. Yet, here I am, single again after two failed marriages. I say failed because the marriages didn’t last. But were they really failures? Failure is defined as a “lack of success.” But by what yardstick is success measured? I know plenty of people in absolutely miserable marriages that I would not consider successful. So is it really fair to call my two marriages failures? I guess it depends on who you ask and what they see as a failure versus a success. Just because a marriage is legally intact doesn’t...

Keep Reading

Marriage Is So Much More than Love

In: Marriage
Husband and wife hugging, color photo

I met my husband when I was 19. I knew right away there was something there. I was intrigued by him—his looks, his smile, his big heart, his mysterious side. He was unapologetically himself. He listened to his music a little too loud, did his own thing, didn’t try to impress my parents, and lived his life on his own terms. With his hat backward, those big blue eyes, and that mischievous grin . . . I fell hook, line, and sinker. I loved the fact that he had his own house, his own boat, his own life. I was...

Keep Reading

Look for the Green Flags Too

In: Marriage
Couple hugs with twinkle lights in background

We all think we want that storybook romance. We want a partner to sweep into our lives, sing love songs outside of our bedroom window, buy huge bouquets of flowers for no particular reason, publicly declare their love for us every day, and when they’re wrong they should always apologize into a microphone in front of a large crowd. Besides the fact that most of the above are clues that Prince Charming is actually an undercover narcissist and you should probably run far away, this kind of romance sounds rather exhausting. Sure, it sounds fun for a while, but there’s...

Keep Reading

Dear Husband, I Remember It All

In: Marriage
Man and woman touch foreheads and smile

Dear husband,  I remember when we were dating in high school, all snuggled up sitting on the couch by the fire in your parents’ basement, talking about our hopes and dreams for our future. We both hoped to be in each other’s future. I remember going on so many adventures. All the laughs, the jokes, all the times we got into trouble and said, “This will make a great story afterward.” I remember when you asked me to marry you. We were so young, so naive with no idea of what the future would hold, but we couldn’t have been...

Keep Reading

What Happens When Your Perfect Life Explodes?

In: Grief, Living, Loss, Marriage, Motherhood
Sad woman by window with her head in hands

One day you’re living your best life, writing articles about how perfect your marriage is, and the next, BOOM, life as you know it completely changes. I was blindsided by information that my husband had been lying to me for three years about certain aspects of our lives. I felt like I had been hit in the gut by the biggest rock you could imagine. What has followed has been a snowball of events and new information that has changed the course of my and my kids’ lives. So what do you do when your perfect explodes? This is one...

Keep Reading

Dear Husband, In This Busy Season

In: Living, Marriage
Busy family in the kitchen, man walking into the door holding coffee

Dear husband,  I know this is a busy season for you. I see how hard you’re working. And I know you come home exhausted every night. I know you’d be here earlier—and more often—if you could. But you can’t. Because this is your busy season.  And there are a few things I need you to know.  This is hard for me too. Even on normal days, I’m on call 24/7 for the kids, but now, I don’t have you at home as backup. The needing never stops, and I no longer have you to share it with. I can’t say,...

Keep Reading