I’m Exhausted and I Just Don’t Want To

As we head into month five or six or 295757 from life as we knew it, I have a confession to make. 

I just don’t want to.

This isn’t about depression and anxiety, with which I am an honest warrior. 

Although I have experienced those things during this time, this is an entirely different feeling.

I just don’t want to.

The kids aren’t fighting and my schedule didn’t get interrupted by a mini-crisis.

I just don’t want to.

My husband and I aren’t fighting and the bills are paid. We are blessed, and I have an immense amount of gratitude but guess what?

I still don’t want to.

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What don’t I want to do?

I don’t want to explain.

I don’t want to justify.

I don’t want to make another decision.

I don’t want to read about the virus.

I don’t want to read about more injustice.

I don’t want to cook.

I don’t want to clean.

I don’t want to play or entertain.

I don’t want to watch TV.

I don’t want to prepare for whatever school option we decide.

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I don’t want to DO ANYTHING!

But what I DO want is . . . 

Peace.

Love.

Answers.

Justice.

A cure.

Healing.

Good food.

Good conversation.

New content.

Happiness for all.

A great education for my kids.

While I realize I will have to get back to doing more at some point, sometimes you just have to BE. 

Be silent.

Be still.

RELATED: Take that Break Before You Break, Mama

We have all been through more than we can process. Many of us are still trying to maintain “normal” yet . . .  

NOTHING IS NORMAL!  

Let’s create a new normal where being is just as important as doing, and doing only what helps us to actually be.  

You don’t need to justify the list of things that sidetracked your good intention to cook the perfect meal or do the best activity with your kids. 

There doesn’t have to be a reason you didn’t get something done other than you just didn’t. 

Give yourself some grace. Grace to be.

Sometimes we just don’t want to do . . . anything . . . and to many of us, that’s doing a lot!