A Gift for Mom! 🤍

I was having one of those mornings.

You know, the kind when you can’t seem to get going and out the door.

I was trying to get myself ready, take care of my sick daughter and get her to the doctor, and check off a few things from my to-do list. The only problem is my to-do list is usually just a never-ending list of things floating around in my brain occupying 75 percent of my thinking.

As I rushed around trying to get out the door, I couldn’t help noticing pile after pile. Things that needed to be taken care of.

The muffin crumbs from the morning’s rushed breakfast under the table.

The shoes left on the floor that weren’t put in the closet.

The dishes still left in the sink from the night before.

The messy bathroom counter.

The toys scattered across the living room.

The picture frames on the table that needed to be hung up.

The laundry overflowing from the basket.

The kitchen counter that housed a hundred little things begging for my attention. School notices, Scholastic book orders due, bills that needed to be written out, Christmas lists, etc.

As my mind took notice of every little thing, all of this clutter became chaos in my mind.

And then the words just started coming out of my mouth.

“Look at all this.”

“Why doesn’t anyone put their shoes away?”

“Why is there always some new mess being made?”

“I don’t understand . . . I can’t . . . ”

As I cornered my daughter’s room to get her socks, I sighed, “I give up.”

And as soon as I said it, I thought YES. I do need to give up.

I need to give up.

Not on my home. Not on my children or my husband.

I need to give up on my expectations.

I need to give up on expecting that list in my head to ever get shorter. Because the truth is, at this stage of my life, there is always going to be a new mess. There is always going to be a list of things that beg for my attention. Because kids and school and life and dreams don’t quit.

I need to give up expecting everything to be flawless.

I need to embrace the clutter and all the chaos it brings rather than let it choke the life out of me trying to keep up with it all.

That running list in my head has left me feeling defeated and weighed down at times. Because of that, I usually end up not tackling any of it.

Do you find yourself with a running list in your head of things that you need to do or want to do, but you never actually find the time to do them? Let’s be honest. As moms, just keeping up with the day-to-day stuff is a challenge. Between having to take care of kids and feed everybody, there’s usually little time left for much else.

But what if we just gave up on trying to do it all and just did one thing? One thing that we really wanted to conquer. One thing that really brought us joy. One thing instead of all the things. Maybe then we would actually start seizing the day instead of letting it hold us captive.

For weeks I had wanted to clean the upstairs. Go through the kids’ rooms and declutter, choose toys to give away to our church toy drive. But because that to-do list seemed so overwhelming and never-ending, I always focused on the daily things like dishes and laundry. The things that make me feel like I’m still afloat in a sea of endless chores. Those “other things” kept getting pushed back but they never lost their place in my mind.

But the moment, I decided to “give up” I felt a huge relief. I wasn’t going to worry about tidying up the house today . . . again. I wasn’t going to sweep the crumbs up just yet. I wasn’t going to try to do it all today. I was going to tackle just one thing on my to-do list. One thing. The upstairs.

And so, even though if may have looked like chaos in the house, my mind was at ease because I was able to just focus on that one thing. One thing that I had wanted to do but never found the time to actually do.

Tomorrow, that one thing is Hallmark Christmas movies. Why? Because so often, I run around the house trying to keep up with everything and I find myself fantasizing about just sitting down and enjoying a movie. But I never do, because I’m always trying to keep up with my list.

The next day, maybe it will be the craft drawers. You know, the ones that look like Michael’s exploded inside. Or snuggles on the couch all day in our pajamas. Because giving up frees you up. It frees you of trying to do it all and carry it all. It allows you to give yourself grace. And, oddly enough, it brings the things you really want to do right into focus.

So God Made a Grandmother book by Leslie Means

If you liked this, you'll love our book, SO GOD MADE A GRANDMA

Order Now!

Sherry White

Sherry White writes about the messiness of life, parenting, and faith at her blog The Messy Christian. She tries to add her own brand of humor and insight into everyday issues we all face, reminding us that even though we find ourselves in countless messes, God’s grace lights the way. She would be thrilled if you follower her on Facebook and Instagram.

My Mom Was Just 13 When I Was Born. Now That I’m a Mother, I See Her Differently.

In: Living
Young girl and teenage mother

There are only 13 years and 11 months between us. I can’t imagine how hard that must have been—how lonely it must have felt at times. A childhood cut short, replaced with responsibilities that were night and day. Confusion and love, all wrapped into one. Growing up, it felt like I had a big sister beside me. A friend I loved with everything in me. But she wasn’t just a friend. She was my mother. I relied on her for guidance, for reassurance, for someone to look up to. And now I find myself wondering, how could she give me...

Keep Reading

Why Don’t We Talk About Jonah’s Mother?

In: Faith, Living, Motherhood
Woman standing over water

Praying for My Son Send a storm to stop him; Let his friends throw him out. May he drop to the deeps, But gently, please, Stubborn though he may be. If it could only take three days, How my mother’s heart would Rejoice in praise.  From the hell you allow him, Let him cry to you. Is not Nineveh and mercy Exactly what he knows He needs— A mercy on enemies He fears You will concede? Please let all the shade wither If his is an angry soul; Humble him and help him follow Where you would have his purpose...

Keep Reading

I Never Got to Meet My Grandmother on This Side of Heaven

In: Living
Old black and white family photo

Grandmother, I never met you this side of Heaven, but I feel as though I have. Your pictures, scattered throughout my mother’s home, tell your story. Born to a woman who came to this country alone when she was just 16, you would be the youngest of four, with two sisters and a brother. Your short, dark, straight hair clings to your little face, a line of bangs neatly combed high on your forehead. You couldn’t be more than three years old as you sit on a stool at your sister’s First Holy Communion. The black and white photo makes...

Keep Reading

The Hardest Part of Divorce Is Being Away from My Kids

In: Living, Marriage, Motherhood
Woman in driver's seat

I’ve written several times about how divorce has allowed me to find myself again, and how that version is even better than the one I was before I was married. All of that is still true. I am happier than I’ve ever been. More confident and sure of myself. I understand my emotions and how to handle myself when things get tough or scary. I am more grounded and calm than I’ve ever been. Truly, I have come out on top. I’ve received comments about how happy I look, how I’m “living my best life with kids only half the...

Keep Reading

My Dad Gave Us Something Money Never Could

In: Living
Family smiling in posed photo

I was talking with my dad the other day about an upcoming Disney trip with our kids. I told him all we planned to do while we were there and how excited the kids were. He sat and listened, taking it all in. And then he said something that put a lump in my throat. “I’m so glad you’re able to give your kids the life that I couldn’t.” He went on to say he still carries some guilt–that he wishes he could have done more, taken us on trips, given us experiences he couldn’t. Hearing that broke my heart....

Keep Reading

Dear Daddy, I Wish You Could See Yourself As We Do

In: Living, Marriage
father with two young children

The side of my husband who is hardest on himself usually shows up late at night. The house is quiet, the kids are finally asleep, and the day has done what it always does—taken everything it could from both of us. That’s usually when it comes out. The voice in his head that tells him he’s not doing enough as a father. Not present enough. Not patient enough. Not good enough. He doesn’t say it lightly. He says it like someone confessing a truth he wishes wasn’t true. Like he’s already measured himself against some invisible standard of fatherhood and...

Keep Reading

Mothers and Stepmothers: Who’s on First?

In: Living
Little girl looking through fingers

The roles. The expectations. The unspoken, undefined rules. The hurt feelings no one wants to talk about. It could be a scene from an old Abbott and Costello routine: “Who’s on first?” Motherhood is rarely clear-cut. And if you’ve ever tried to navigate life alongside a stepmother—or as one—you know how quickly things can become complicated. Add a stepmother to the mix, and suddenly it’s a relay race where no one’s quite sure who’s holding the baton, or if anyone wants it. This isn’t a story about winners and losers or choosing sides. It isn’t about who is right or...

Keep Reading

Do We Really Want a ’90s Summer?

In: Living
Girl holding popsicle

The year is 2026: we’re inviting thousands of strangers to get ready with us, threatening our own deaths on a lot of different hills and, if you’re a millennial mom, determined to have a ’90s summer. Some top to-dos on the ’90s mom summer checklist? Lots of outside play, limited screens, less hustle, more simplicity. Overall, evoking the “carefree” summers of the 1990s. But did anyone ever ask the real ‘90s moms if summers back then were all we’re cracking them up to be? If my own memory serves me right, my parents talked a whole lot about summers in...

Keep Reading

To the Woman Who Was Betrayed

In: Living, Marriage
Woman looking off to the fog

He promised you a lifetime, a family, safety, and security. You carried life and brought it into this world for him. Even still, in the trenches of postpartum, he betrayed you. It was never your fault. This is something I’ve fought to tell myself every single day since the day I discovered my marriage was never meant to last. Because the truth is, betrayal is never about you; it’s about them, and the character flaws deep within they’d rather bury than face. He watched as you fought for your life after delivery while your tiny, premature newborn spent the first...

Keep Reading

5 Things I’m Learning about 50

In: Living
birthday balloons

When my dad turned 80, he—and we, by default—celebrated all year. My sister made a fantastic, larger-than-life sign of him posing in front of his friend’s antique car, with beautiful calligraphy that trumpeted, “Cheers to you, celebrating 80 years of life!” The sign welcomed his closest friends and family into a private room at a steakhouse, where we toasted his 80 years—and the grandkids toasted his steady presence in their lives. The sign moved from the swanky steakhouse to the second-floor banister in my parents’ house. When you walked in, it greeted you—a feel-good conversation starter and a reminder to...

Keep Reading