What a joy and a privilege it is to have a bond with your grandma. Oh, but what a joy and what a privilege it is to watch that bond form between your mom and your own kids.
The day I gave birth to my daughter, I became a mother. A transformation took place inside me. My priorities changed in an instant. I had never known such a love like that before. Another transformation was also quietly happening that same day. As my mom was waiting in the wings, watching her firstborn become a mom herself, she stepped into the coveted role of grandma. Just as my heart burst wide open, hers was opened again in a new way. A heart that was already so full, made room for the next generation.
I was the first one of my mom’s children to give her a grandchild, so we were experiencing the newness together. She has five grandkids now and many more years of experience under her belt, but those first couple of years were years of growth for both of us. Just as there is no manual for parenting, there is also no manual for being a grandparent. I imagine it must be difficult to step back and let your own child take charge when you have many more years of experience.
The biggest gift my mom gave us as a new grandma was learning quickly when to speak with advice and when to let us figure it out on our own. My mom is a fantastic mother. That doesn’t mean she is flawless, but she has recognized her flaws over the years and learned from them. She has used them as teachable moments for my sister and me. She taught me how to say sorry when I’m in the wrong. How to own up to my own failures and try to do better next time—things I have carried over into my own parenting.
In a world of grandma’s who are quick to remind you that your baby is missing their socks (when it’s 70 degrees outside), my mom was encouraging me to let my kids put their feet in the grass. As we shied away from her parenting style and attempted to work with a gentler style, instead of being offended, she walked right alongside us. She is grace, mercy, and patience, which brings us to her relationship with my kids.
The bond that has been established between my kids and my mom is unbreakable. She would walk through fire for them, just as she would do for me. From the minute my daughter was born, my mom has had an active role from the very start. My daughter’s short life has been anything but easy and being born prematurely right before a global pandemic played a big part in that.
My mom dropped everything to be part of her little life. To drive me back and forth to the hospital. To hold me when it was all too much. To rock that little girl to sleep during Sunday night family dinners. To protect her from germs that were just too big for her body and to show her off like she was the greatest prize my mom had ever won. This is where their bond began. My mom became her best friend, her confidant, the person she ran to for comfort even when I wanted that person to be me. Her grandma was a place of safety for her outside her home. The person who understood her when communication was one of her biggest struggles in life.
Just when I thought my mom’s grandma heart couldn’t get any bigger, my sister and I gave her three grandsons in one year, and those boys stole her heart from their first heartbeats. It’s not one way though, because yet again, even after moves and travels and time apart, the bond between those kids and their grandma grows ever stronger. She gave each child a part of herself, asking nothing in return.
Why is that bond so strong already? Because she shows up for them. No matter the distance, she’s there. Through love notes and small gifts that reminded her of each little one. Through special songs made up just for that grandchild, she’s there. Through great big hugs and kissing boo-boos. Through holding hands and extra treats. The bonds came on quickly, but it’s all the little things she does to maintain those bonds that make them so strong. It’s the same thing her mom did with me, and now I get to watch it happen in front of my eyes, and what a blessing it is.
by Renee Emerson 
by Tania Lorena Rivera 
