I Wasn't Sure How To Love a Daughter

A Gift for Mom! 🤍

Sweet girl,

When I found out I was pregnant, I knew you were a girl. I could feel it in my bones. Mother’s intuition starts at conception, I guess. But, there was the back and forth dance of what if you’re a boy. What if I wanted you to be a boy? What if I needed it?

When the ultrasound confirmed what I felt in my gut, my heart sank. It had nothing to do with you, nothing whatsoever. It had everything to do with me.

RELATED: My Relationship With My Mother Left Me Scared of Having a Daughter

I didn’t grow up with the best mother-daughter relationship. Getting the confirmation that you were going to enter my life making me the mother of a daughter scared me to death. It still does sometimes.

I don’t exactly have a clear path as to how to navigate the winding road of a lifelong, female, family tie.

I see all the ways I don’t want to be a mom. I see all the things I want to do differently, better, and maybe worse, too. I have learned enough over the years to understand this bond can be broken easily, and that’s not something I ever want to do to you.

I know I want to build you up and never tear you down. I know I want you to be able to confide in me and not live in fear of me. I want to be able to be a mentor and friend to you. I want to be the person you call when things go wrong. I want to lend a listening ear and not spew a mouthful of spite in your direction.

RELATED: Pregnancy Reopened the Wound My Mother Left Behind

As you grow, I am learning. I am watching. I am finding within myself a bravery I didn’t know was there.

I want to be better for you. I want to be better because of you.

I knew you were my daughter before I ever held you in my arms. I’m sorry I ever questioned that. You deserved more certainty.

Daughter, I promise to be the mom you deserve, even though I didn’t have the best example to learn from.

Maybe that’s how the world changes? You live and you learn. You grow when you have to.

You helped heal me. Now I feel like I’ve come full circle.

If you have a daughter one day, I pray you find peace in our mother-daughter relationship. I hope you can look to it and build upon it instead of wanting to tear it down and start over.

RELATED: She Will Always Be My Mother But She Will Never Be My Friend

Holding you now, I know you will be even better than me someday. I hope you know I want that for you. I’ll always be cheering you on.

Love,

Mom

So God Made a Grandmother book by Leslie Means

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I Wasn’t Sure How To Love a Daughter

RELATED: My Relationship With My Mother Left Me Scared of Having a Daughter

I don’t exactly have a clear path as to how to navigate the winding road of a lifelong, female, family tie.

RELATED: Pregnancy Reopened the Wound My Mother Left Behind

I want to be better for you. I want to be better because of you.

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RELATED: She Will Always Be My Mother But She Will Never Be My Friend

If you liked this, you'll love our book, SO GOD MADE A GRANDMA

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Life Lessons from My Grown Children

As a Medical Mom, I Measure Growth Differently

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So God Made a Mother

I Wasn’t Sure How To Love a Daughter

I don’t exactly have a clear path as to how to navigate the winding road of a lifelong, female, family tie.

I want to be better for you. I want to be better because of you.

You helped heal me. Now I feel like I’ve come full circle.

If you liked this, you'll love our book, SO GOD MADE A GRANDMA

The Invisible Pain after IVF Stops

The Final Out

These Holy Small Things

The Pressure to Do Everything “Right” Is Crushing Us

Letting You Go Is Still So Hard

Behind Every Smiling Graduate Is a Mother Letting Go

Life Lessons from My Grown Children

As a Medical Mom, I Measure Growth Differently

Hannah Harper Is Every Mom with Babies in Her Arms and a Dream In Her Heart

Watching Your Children Build the Life You Prayed For Is Beautiful

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