I was once at a playdate with a fellow stay-at-home mom friend and she said, “I make myself shower, get dressed and put on makeup every day just to feel like a human again.” She went on to tell me it was the one way she felt like her old self, the before kids woman she used to be before her life was consumed by breastfeeding and trips back and forth to preschool every day.
She’s a better woman than me.
When I first became a stay-at-home mom five years ago, I used to be the same way. I’d plan my shower and beauty routine around my son’s morning nap. When he woke up, we’d hop in the car and head to town to run some errand or go visit this relative or that friend, just to get out of the house and be a part of society.
Until one day, something changed.
I can’t really say there was an event that changed my desire to make myself “presentable” to the world outside the walls of my home. But, gradually I stopped putting on so much makeup for our outings and I started wearing sweatpants more than jeans.
By the time I had my second baby, I became a minimalist in the getting ready department. I basically took a shower and did all of the other basics to maintain my overall hygiene (brush teeth, pluck eyebrows, etc.) but that was about it. No makeup, no fancy hairdo, and certainly no flashy clothing. When I get out of the shower, I put clean pajamas on. Yes, pajamas. Or yoga pants with one of my husband’s oversized t-shirts. In the winter, I toss on one of my 20 black ski hats (I love hats) and I’m done for the day.
Most days I resemble a hobo or vagrant (a decent smelling one) more than the fashionable gal I once was.
I get my son off the bus like this. I go to the grocery store like this. I go to my son’s school like this. I go to doctor’s appointments like this. You know why? I don’t care enough to get “all dolled up” anymore. Who’s got the time? I mean really?
Do you think my sons’ teachers (who are also moms) give a crap if I have mascara on? Or do you think my dentist minds if I have a full face of foundation on while she’s drilling at a cavity in the depths of my mouth? No, she probably would prefer not to have remnants of my makeup caked onto her medical gloves and white coat from leaning over my face. And guess what? The teenage kid at the grocery store check out has probably seen 50 other moms already this morning, and he probably didn’t notice which mom had her hair blown out as the salon and who barely had time to run a comb through hers.
You know who else doesn’t care if I am wearing my Reba McEntire concert tee, purple leggings and red beanie when he gets home? My husband. He doesn’t care. He loves me regardless of my sense of fashion. I believe the words “I can’t even tell the difference between when you have makeup on and don’t,” have even come out of his mouth once or twice. Reason 6,876 why I love the guy.
My kids don’t care what I look like either. All they care about is if I fulfill their order for more juice and agree to read them another book before bed time. To them, I’m mom—regardless of if I’m dressed up with full makeup for a night on the town with my guy or still in my pajamas at 11 a.m. I’m still mom to them.
There will come a day when I’ll return to the workforce and I’ll have to wear pleated skirts, nice blouses and yes, even makeup. I’ll look on point everyday all day and I will probably care more about those things then. But for now, I don’t mind rocking my sweatpants and being a minimalist in all things glamor. But for now, these are the days I get to be present with my babies in my most sacred space—my home. The days I get to dress how I feel: safe, comfortable and practical. And also in Target, where I also feel at home.