Let’s talk about the motherhood expectations we had before we actually became moms. I can’t help but chuckle at my own self and expectations. I don’t know about you, but I had this crystal-clear image in my head of how I would handle everything with ease.

I saw myself putting my kids to sleep with soothing songs and bedtime stories every night and they would sleep peacefully throughout the night. I would have an endless amount of patience, effortlessly navigating the challenges and tantrums that come with raising children.

I envisioned having a perfectly tidy home, where everything had its place in neatly labeled containers. And don’t get me started on the homemade healthy meals, how my little ones would devour their veggies as we gathered around the table as one big happy family. Oh, and screen time? That would be limited. I would be too busy entertaining them with fun and learning activities all throughout the day while juggling all my responsibilities with grace.

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Well, guess what? The reality of motherhood had different plans for me, and boy, did I learn some valuable lessons along the way.

First and foremost, let’s throw out the notion of being a flawless mother. We all make mistakes, and the truth is we all have our fair share of frustration just like any other parent out there. I’ve had countless moments when I’ve felt like I was being pulled in a million different directions, desperately trying to keep up with everything. And let’s be honest, bedtimes aren’t always the easiest around here.

You can forget about everyone so gracefully sitting around the table eating the same gourmet healthy meal I make. My house definitely doesn’t resemble a magazine cover unless you see one covered in toys, stains, spills, and hand prints.

But you know what? That’s perfectly fine. I try—oh, do I try—but some days I win and some days it’s “there’s always tomorrow.” I’ve realized that achieving perfect balance is a never-ending journey and striving for perfection is just setting ourselves up for disappointment.

Instead, I’m gradually learning to accept my imperfections and to be kinder to myself. It’s all about prioritizing what truly matters: the love and care I give my children. It’s not about striving for an unattainable ideal. It’s about embracing the messy, unpredictable, and beautiful moments that come with being a real and imperfect mother.

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Motherhood is a wild ride, filled with unexpected twists and turns. We may not have all the answers. Let me rephrase that, we won’t have all the answers, and that’s okay. Our kids don’t need a picture-perfect parent; they need someone who loves them unconditionally. They need someone who’s there to wipe away their tears and cheer them on with every achievement, no matter how big or small.

So, to all you incredible moms who, like me, have experienced the weight of unmet expectations, let’s give ourselves a break. It’s time to let go of that vision we had of the perfect mother and embrace the imperfectly wonderful moms we are. We’re doing our best, and trust me, that is more than enough. Some days we conquer the world, and other days we barely keep our heads above water, but every single day, we show up for our kids. 

Our journey might not have turned out exactly as we imagined, but the love we have for our children remains unwavering. And that, my fellow moms, is what truly matters.

Xoxo,
Not the mother I thought I’d be, and that’s okay

Originally published on the author’s blog