There’s really no one who loves lists more than me. Give me all the lined journals, cute motivational stickers, pretty colored pens, and glitter sticky tabs. Lists could be purposeful and fashionable! And I admit . . . I might be a slight control freak and life-long planner. Lists and special planner people just seem to go together like peanut butter and jelly. Right?

But I had hit a wall. I couldn’t get out of bed. I couldn’t do the dishes. Laundry was getting closer to the height of being counted as the first monumental mountain in flat Kansas. Breathing took extreme effort. My marriage was in a hard spot. We were broke. I had four kids to raise.

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This was a nightmare for any planner and controller lady of the house. Even worse? It was that time. You know, the dreaded resolution list time? Not only that, I had already downgraded to an annual, measurable goal list. I was quickly sinking into unknown territory. Resolutions almost never came through, and annual goals were more probable for completion.

But none of the prior year’s goals matched any of my current year. What kind of dumpster fire was my life? I just wanted to live. I wanted to enjoy my daily life.

So, this new year that is exactly what I am going to do. I’m going to live in my daily life. I’m going to be present. I’m going to show Jesus to my family and others today. I’m going to smile, cry, dance, laugh, and rest all at once and some just one at a time.

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The control freak went rogue this year and handed all planning to Jesus for this new year. She couldn’t do it on her own, so she tore the list and gave it to Him to handle this time. The sparkles can stay, but the stressful control has got to go. I can’t do this without Him, so I won’t.

“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future” (Jeremiah 29:11).