So God Made a Mother Collection ➔

Whether it be sitting alone at a party or with a group of friends, it wouldn’t matter in my anxious mind. Even though in one situation I am alone and in the other, I am surrounded by friends, the truth is I feel alone in both situations.

My anxiety makes me put on a fake smile to appear normal, all the while feeling abnormal on the inside. Anxiety is what causes tears to well up in my eyes and forces to me excuse myself to go cry in my car until I’ve pulled it together. It makes me lie, “Oh, yeah, I’m OK,” when someone asks. It tells me I am a pretty terrible mother because I am not enough for my kids, and I am too much for my husband.

This is what my anxiety does. Maybe it does this to you also.

I feel like anxiety makes me constantly aware of a big, flashing sign way off in the distance that only I can see. It says, “You are not good enough. You never will be.”

Some might say these thoughts are from the devil since God has not called us to live a life of fear. I like to think the devil and anxiety are one and the same.

RELATED: To the Mom With the Anxious Soul

Anxiety makes my brain feel alone in this world when the reality is I am surrounded by many other people. It pushes away the logical thoughts that everyone feels bad sometimes and most people feel not good enough, and it naturally focuses on blocking those thoughts out.

Anxiety makes me question myself almost constantly.

It makes me love myself less.

It makes me love my friends fiercely but hold back from showing it.

It makes me question if I am a good mom or not.

It makes me dwell on the negative and the scary of life much more than the positive.

Anxiety makes me a really selfish person and not in an I need time for my own self-care sort of way.

Let me explain. For a long time, I only saw my anxiety as a me problem. It was something I experienced and that affected me. I tried to hide it from other people and hoped they would not notice that I constantly felt unworthy of anything good. 

The sad part is though, through all of those years of dealing with anxiety, I had no idea it was actually affecting everyone I came into contact with as well.

RELATED: My Anxiety Makes Me Feel Like I Fail Over and Over Again

I would avoid situations that might make me feel awkward or anxious. I rarely reached out to a friend who was showing signs of hurting. I definitely didn’t reach out to strangers who were hurting.

I was selfish, and my anxiety was making me this way.

I ignored people in need simply because I regularly chose to listen to that feeling in my head saying I wasn’t good enough to be helpful to anyone.

I was so caught up in the fear that if I reached out to someone, they would roll their eyes at me and turn away my help because it wasn’t good enough. Because I wasn’t good enough. 

I was so afraid to be hurt that I chose to hurt others instead, just to save myself. Truthfully though, all I did was hurt both of us.

Maybe anxiety does this to you too. Maybe you have been hurt in your life and just can’t sign up for that again. Maybe you deal with thoughts that you will never be good enough to be a mom to your kids or your husband doesn’t love you the way you are. Maybe you are constantly trying to change to be someone elseto be someone who iS . . . better somehow.

Listen, I get it! But know this. You are hurting others by ignoring their pain even if it is anxiety that holds you back. The turning point for me was realizing this: If I reach out to someone and they don’t seem appreciative or open to talking, at the very least, I have planted a seed in them that says someone cares about me.

And I think planting that seed is priceless.

That woman over there who looks so angry? Maybe she just had it out with her husband and is ready to cry because she feels that no couple fights as much as they do. 

The new mom in the group who seems less than friendly to you right from the start? Maybe she feels worthless, too, and figures you won’t really like her anyway.

Reach out and plant that seed of kindness anyway, you may be the only person who does that day. You might be the lifeline who saves someone’s life.

You may never know how stepping out of your anxiety to offer friendship to another woman may affect them, but I guarantee you that your effort will never be wasted.

RELATED: The Painful Truth I’m Hiding As a Mom With Anxiety

My insecurities held me back from being a friend to multiple people who were hurting and felt alone. And honestly, I never again want to be the one who hurts another woman with my worthless insecurity.

Those insecurities are terrifying, they are stomach-churning, but they aren’t worth hurting someone else over. 

I want to stand with other women not to have thousands of best friends and not to make myself more worthy, but to uplift another woman, another mom, another sister, or daughter. I want to let her know she is not alone in this world. If I receive the gift of friendship back, wonderful! If not, at least I have planted a tiny seed of love into someone else’s life, and that makes me feel worthy beyond belief.

Previously published on the author’s blog

Amber Prohaska

Amber is a mom of 4 crazy kids who keep her running like a maniac! Her most favorite place to be is at home with her chaotic clan. You can generally find her writing about what's on her heart, or hiding in the bathroom eating chocolate, or sometimes both!  Find more of her writing at, on Facebook at This Simple Life, and Instagram @thissimplelifeblog.

An EF-3 Tornado Hit My Small Town. What It Can Teach Us about Strength.

In: Living
Tornado warning in Michigan town

It didn’t seem like a bad storm. In fact, I thought it would miss us. And I was a little bummed, to be honest. Because I love a good storm.  My 6-year-old son and I stood at the sliding door, listening as thunder roared in the distance. The sky started to light up, as droplets of rain began to hit us through the screen door. Suddenly a streak of lightning hit the ground in the near distance. Followed by another.  Maybe this storm won’t miss us after all.  We shut the door as the wind seemed to pick up. The...

Keep Reading

I Know My Friends Aren’t Bothered by My Messy House, but I Am

In: Friendship, Living, Motherhood
Sad woman by laundry pile

My house screams at me. It screams to clear off the kitchen counters, to put away the clean clothes, to organize the shoe collection in our entry, to gather up the scattered toys, to sweep the crumbs up, to place the throw pillows back on the couch, to clean off the table—you get the idea. Everything in my sight speaks volumes to the state it does not want to be in, for the chaos it is imposing.  Keeping home is a labor of love and never of balance for me. Everything that is cleaned, made, or organized will always get...

Keep Reading

A Medical Diagnosis Challenges a Marriage

In: Cancer, Living, Marriage
Bald woman holding clippers over husband's head, color photo

It is no secret now that Albert Pujols and his wife have announced their divorce shortly after she had surgery to remove a brain tumor. As a breast cancer survivor, this news hit me in a special way. As I was reading through an article from Today, there was a quote that hit me hard, “But a marriage falling apart is far more common when the wife is the patient, researchers have found. A woman is six times more likely to be separated or divorced soon after a diagnosis of cancer or multiple sclerosis than if a man in the relationship is...

Keep Reading

You Are So Much More than the Doubts in Your Head

In: Living, Motherhood
Little girl looking out window, color photo

Keep pushing. Push through every doubt the enemy instills in your mind.  Push through the depression. Push through the worrisome moments. Push through that anxiety that won’t let you win.  You’ve got to keep going. Keep moving forward.  You are a great mother. You are a great wife. You are a great employee and an even better friend.  RELATED: Struggling With Mental Health Makes You a Bad Mom—And Other Lies I’ve Believed Don’t get stuck in the same spot that depression has led you and those thoughts that say you aren’t good enough or worthy enough.  You are.  God says...

Keep Reading

I Will Live For You

In: Living, Motherhood
Mother and child silhouette

“I would die for my child, ”a well-known, often said sacrificial statement. I didn’t really know how my fierce love for my child would manifest until the first time she was extremely upset, and I didn’t know why.  Readers, I would have cut off a finger to console my baby.  I would die to protect her.  Both are strong, love-filled sentiments. And both, God willing, are unnecessary.  But there’s a daunting task that is absolutely necessary. At times it needs to be a conscious decision. Sometimes it’ll require taking care of yourself so you can better care for your child....

Keep Reading

Don’t Write Off How Far You’ve Come

In: Living
Woman smiling

Tonight when the demons in my head want to take over, I’m reminding myself that I am amazing, and I have accomplished things I dreamt about for years. I graduated from college. I have a B.A. in psychology. Other people had that. Not me. But now I do. I’m getting my Master’s degree in social work. I am a published writer. Yes, my brain and other people are tearing me down and screaming at me that I can’t do anything right. But the evidence? The evidence is that I have survived 16 years of special needs parenting. And that is...

Keep Reading

Dear Girl, Give Jesus Your Mess

In: Faith, Living
Woman holding Bible, color photo

Oh, dear girl, Give Jesus the mess. Your mess. The mess you think is too much or too big or too unbearable. The depths of the mess. The very worst of the mess. Lay it at His feet. He knew you long before the mess existed. Nobody knows your mess like Jesus. I assure you—this will not catch Him by surprise. Even when you do not understand, even when it is most difficult, even when you have your head buried in your hands. Praise Him, for God wastes nothing.  Even when it feels like opposition is coming at you from...

Keep Reading

Friends Can Be a Sanctuary

In: Friendship, Grief
Group of friends hugging

A sanctuary is defined as anywhere people go for peaceful tranquility or introspection. My friends became my sanctuary when my husband, Frank, died. They became my refuge and my safe place. Friendship is one of the most wonderful gifts in this world. It is beautiful, comforting, ever-changing, and, for me, a fixed point.  My friends seemed to know exactly what I needed and when I needed it. Their love and constant support got me through the worst of times and gave me the courage and confidence I needed to move forward.  I could never give an adequate thank you to...

Keep Reading

Childhood Trauma Made Me Crave the Simple Life I’m Living Now

In: Living, Motherhood
Family walking down road

My own childhood was not a happy one.  My earliest memory was of blowing out a birthday candle (I was maybe three) and of my wish being that my parents would get a divorce, that my dad would disappear forever. The happiest days of my childhood were 72 hours spent in a shelter for battered women outside of DC with my mom and two younger brothers because for the first time in my 9-year-old life, I felt free from the many constraints of home life—short-lived as I knew this freedom would be, knowing he would always find a way back...

Keep Reading

I Don’t Dress “Like a Mom” and I’m Not Sorry

In: Living, Motherhood
Mother in tank top and shorts with three children, color photo

I’ve always had a rather unique style.  I’m not afraid to dress loudly and stand out.  I’ll be the only girl wearing heels in a stadium full of flats.  I’ll wear sequins and glitter in my 30s.  I’ll wear vintage, current trends, and things that have possibly never been fashionable. If I feel confident and comfortable in what I’m wearing, that’s really all I care about.  I’ve been complimented on my outfit choices plenty of times.  RELATED: I’ll Always Be Too Much For Some People I’ve also been negatively judged—many times I know about and probably more times when I’m blissfully...

Keep Reading

 5 Secrets to Connect with Your Kids


Proven techniques to build REAL connections