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Getting Over the Hard Stuff

We always encourage those we love to “get over it”. That’s our way of trying to help someone we care about move past something that is painful to them.

The problem with that approach?

People don’t easily get over things, not in the traditional sense.

We learn with time how to tuck hurtful parts of life and the memories associated with them into safer places where they don’t create dire emotional consequences every moment.

That doesn’t mean that they’re tucked far enough away where something can’t immediately trigger an avalanche of emotion similar to when the pain first occurred.

Healing is lifelong.

It differs by person, place, and circumstance and we need to respect that truth in others and ourselves.

Some days we do it better than others.

Some days there are enough distractions to keep the yucky feelings at bay.

Good moments layer above the bad like lasagna noodles.

Other days, the entire casserole collapses unto itself and we’re wrought with the heaviest of sadness.

Knowing that healing is a process not a phase allows us to accept being OK sometimes and not OK others.

We then give ourselves permission to BE.

No explanations needed.

No judgments about being weak.

As time moves along we begin to discover ways to buoy ourselves during the harder moments.

We come to rely upon these strategies like a good friend.

These “good friends” become the coping mechanisms we need to keep us afloat.

And that, sweet friends, is all I have for today..

Take good care of you.

Use your lifelines when you’re not alright.

Never try to go it alone.

Somebody is ready, willing and able to listen.

Now and always.

You may also like:

It’s OK Not to be OK—But It’s Not OK to Stay There

To the Mama in the Fog: You Are Not Alone

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Lisa Leshaw

Lisa Leshaw has worked as a mental health professional for the past 31 years. She currently conducts Parenting Skills Workshops, Group Counseling for Blended Families and Empowerment Circles for Women. As a consultant, Lisa travels throughout teaching Communication and Listening Skills, Behavioral Management Techniques and Motivational Strategies. To de-stress she performs in children's theatre and plays piano whenever requested. She is hoping to either write the next memorable musical composition or Great American Novel!

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