The other day, I said goodbye to you, friend.

We hugged one last time and there were tears dripping off the end of my nose because I knew the truth: friends like you only come around once in a lifetime and I just lost mine.

After I left, you climbed into a moving truck and you and your family began the trek across the state, across the country, to your new life far, far away. We spent that whole last day with you, my husband and I, helping you tape boxes and load the truck. We sipped coffee and we laughed and we cried. When we drove away to our home down the road, knowing you would soon be driving away to your new home across the country, my tears fell faster than I could wipe them and I realized I’d left so much unsaid. Unsaid because there weren’t enough hours in the day to say all I wanted to. Unsaid because I couldn’t get them past the lump in my throat.

But if I could have 10 more minutes with you, this is what I’d want to say:

Thank you.

Thank you, friend, for all the ways you have inspired me, taught me, emboldened me, and strengthened me throughout the years. There have been big ways and there have been little ways, but all of them mean that I’m a better me because of you.

Thank you for the coffee dates when we sat for three hours, long after our coffee cups were empty, and talked about nothing and everything.

Thank you for pulling my kids into your lap and loving them as if they belong to you.

Thank you for putting in the time and effort it takes to make a friendship bloom, even when we were knee-deep in sippy cups and dirty diapers.

Thank you for holding space for me when I grieved.

Thank you for believing the best of me even when I wasn’t my best.

Thank you for weathering the storm of motherhood alongside me.

Thank you for dragging me to paint night and forcing me to try something new. Thank you for not laughing when your painting was far better than mine.

Thank you for encouraging me to follow my passions, to pick up my camera, to write, to find that that thing that gives me life. And thank you for getting it when there were days, seasons, years when I just didn’t have the energy for any of it.

Thank you for being that friend who comes to take my kid for a few hours because I have the stomach flu.

Thank you for being that friend who rolls up her sleeves and starts boxing up my house when I need help with a big move.

Thank you for always having a snack to offer a hangry kid when I forgot one.

Thank you for calming my kindergartener in the middle of a tantrum because I had my hands full with two other little ones.

Thank you for holding my baby when I needed an extra pair of hands.

Thank you for listening to me talk about having one more baby for the 778th time.

Thank you for your honesty.

For your generosity.

For your loyalty.

For your devotion.

Your friendship has been more than just friendship to me. It has been a sisterhood. My village. My tribe. At times, my life raft. Without you, these early years of mothering would have been lonelier and harder.

I don’t want you to go, but thank you for giving me a friendship that makes it hard to let go.

Friend, so much was left unsaid between us. I didn’t have the capacity to give voice to all the gratitude and respect and love that I had for our friendship at that moment. Instead, I hugged you. I said, “I love you.” I said, “You’ve been a great friend.” I cried hard. It didn’t feel like enough, but maybe in the end it was.

Maybe, in the end, those few words I did say were everything.

I love you.

You’ve been a great friend.

I think that kind of says it all.

You may also like:

I’m So Grateful For My “Always” Friends

Life is Too Short for Fake Cheese and Fake Friends

I’m Thankful For the Friendships That Time and Distance Can’t Break

So God Made a Mother book by Leslie Means

If you liked this, you'll love our book, SO GOD MADE A MOTHER available now!

Order Now

Check out our new Keepsake Companion Journal that pairs with our So God Made a Mother book!

Order Now
So God Made a Mother's Story Keepsake Journal

Cassaundra Robinson

Cassaundra is a mom of four and wife to one, working hard to keep calm and carry on in the Pacific Northwest. When she's not yelling for the bickering to stop or trying to keep the baby from eating dog food, she's probably planning her next vacation. She's always got a coffee and camera in hand. You can find her blogging at Living on Coffee & Prayer.

Here’s to the Friends Who Don’t Hide Their Messy Parts

In: Friendship, Motherhood
Two women sit in a field with arms around each other

To the friend who invited me over without picking her house up beforehand . . . thank you.  You had no way of knowing, but I’ve been especially weighed down by the feeling of “I can’t keep up” lately—and when I walked into your beautiful home and saw dishes in the sink and laundry scattered here and there, I let out the deepest exhale I didn’t even realize I was holding in.  Because seeing your mess? Your less-than-perfect? It didn’t make me think any differently of you, but it did allow me to give myself the grace I desperately needed....

Keep Reading

I Didn’t Know How Much I Needed Other Mothers

In: Friendship, Living, Motherhood
Two mom friends smiling at each other

I read somewhere the other day that when a child is born, a parent is too. In my first few months being a mother, I’m learning just how odd that sentiment is. In an instant, I became someone new. Not only that, but I became part of a group I didn’t realize existed. That sounds wrong. Of course, mothers existed. But this community of mothers? I had no idea. It took us a long time to get where we are today. Throughout our journey with infertility, I knew in my heart I was meant to be a mother. I knew that...

Keep Reading

Please Don’t Tell a Couple Trying to Conceive to Just Relax

In: Friendship, Living, Motherhood
Black-and-white photo of medical supplies

This is a plea. A plea to those who know someone who is struggling with infertility. So, if you’re reading this, this is directed right to you. Please, for the love of everything, when someone tells you they are struggling to conceive, do not tell them to “just relax.” I know it’s the cliche, default term most blurt out because they don’t know what else to say. It’s awkward to discuss for some. I’m 10000% positive it is coming from a good place and is meant to be calming and reassuring, and you really do believe it’s true because a...

Keep Reading

That Mom at the Playground Could Become Your Best Friend

In: Friendship, Motherhood
Young mother sitting on bench looking at playground

I didn’t realize I was that mom at the playground. That mom who always smiles at the other moms even if she doesn’t know them. That mom who often makes small talk while she pushes her toddler on the swings. That mom who strikes up a conversation while sitting on the bench watching her older kid play. That mom who can often tell whether you are interested in talking to her or not. And if you don’t seem interested, that’s okay. Because maybe you’re preoccupied with other things going on in your life right now. Maybe you’re overwhelmed with the...

Keep Reading

Mean Girls Aren’t Like the Ones You See In Movies

In: Friendship
Woman whispering in another woman's ear

Mean girls aren’t like Regina George. If they were, it would be easy to know to stay away from them. Not all mean girls are wealthy, image-conscious, stick-thin blondes. They also don’t always have the reputation of being “mean girls.” The problem is that mean girls are way worse than Regina George because they don’t look like mean girls. Mean girls can be your “friends.” Mean girls know how to gain and betray your trust. They are the girls who, on a rough day, ask you what’s going on not because they care about you, but so they can have...

Keep Reading

To the Mom in the Trenches, I’ll Come Back for You

In: Friendship, Motherhood
Mother sitting on bed holding one twin while the other crawls nearby, black-and-white photo

Your hair is in a messy bun for the sixth day in a row. You’re trudging to work sniffling because with all the germs your kids bring home from daycare, you just can’t seem to recover. You haven’t had a date night in four months, or has it been five? You stare blankly across the table at your spouse, his lips are moving but your brain can’t quite compute what he’s saying because the baby was up at least 10 times last night. You are just so tired. On top of this, we add in holidays. A time of year...

Keep Reading

6 Ways to Be a Friend to Someone Grieving

In: Friendship, Grief, Loss
Friends hugging

Grief can truly be such a lonely experience after you lose a loved one. The loneliness isn’t necessarily because you don’t have anyone around you. It’s because only you had your relationship with the person who died, and it’s hard to find anyone to replace that. I have first-hand experience. My mom died recently and unexpectedly at the age of 62 and I at the age of 34, and it single-handedly has been one of the most painful experiences of my life. However, having support from family and friends will help you navigate this difficult time. Without it, the loneliness...

Keep Reading

I’m the Hostess without the Mostest, but Who Cares?

In: Friendship, Living
Kitchen island with bowls of snacks, color photo

I wasn’t born a hostess. The idea of inviting people over to my home, whether planned in advance or on a whim, isn’t a natural inclination of mine. In fact, knowing people are coming over usually fills me with a sense of dread and wet underarms. The predictable swarm of anxious questions would buzz into my ear while I frenzy cleaned: Oh my gosh, what if the house has a weird smell I’m not aware of? How the heck do you style a charcuterie board? Why did I think it’d be easy? What if the house looks too messy? Or,...

Keep Reading

Why Does It Feel Like Everyone Else Is Doing It All and I Can’t Keep Up?

In: Friendship, Living, Motherhood
Laundry basket with clothes on couch

I’m doing laundry today and as I sort and fold, I can’t stop my thoughts from going to an anonymous post I saw on a community moms page earlier this week. It went something like . . . “How are you ladies doing it? Really? I can’t keep up on the laundry, let alone everything else in the house. I’m working, but money is still tight and I’m a mess constantly pulled between home and work needs. My husband and I are struggling in our marriage. I am often counted on as a caregiver/helper to my parents, which I’m happy...

Keep Reading

Friendship In the Carrot Tree

In: Friendship, Living, Motherhood
Little girl standing next to garden beds, color photo

“VV really wants to garden,” I mentioned to my neighbor Laura one day in passing, “but we just haven’t found the time to get the soil and get it going.” And it’s too expensive; my husband’s been unemployed all summer—I don’t mention that part. “Too bad our garden boxes are just sitting there full of weeds,” she lamented. Once, she and her husband were avid gardeners, but when his health declined, they gave it up. I perked up, “What if we take over your boxes?” Laura kindly agreed. At 7 p.m., when it’s cooled to a hundred degrees outside, my...

Keep Reading