Dedicated to my daughter and to all who unfortunately relate.

I still recall that August day,
The worst day of my life.
Because I never knew before hello
Sometimes comes goodbye.

But I still recall those words,
The doctor’s apologetic speaking:
“I’m sorry but your baby’s heart—
It’s no longer beating.” 

I begged God to wake you up,
To breathe the life back in.
But you were born without it
So I let Anger ask again.

What kind of God
Would take a little girl 
Before her little feet 
Had even stepped into the world?

Anger stood by my side,
And sadness on the other.
How could my child be gone
Before I even got to be her mother? 

I still recall every step
The nurse’s feet took across the floor
To take you forever from my arms
Before death could change you more.

I kissed your little cheek
And held you closely to my heart,
Begging God to stop mine
If only yours would start

But I still recall the sound,
The worst sound ever made,
As dirt fell and filled the hole
Where a little coffin laid.

And I couldn’t pick you up
Or wake you from your sleep.
Death had taken you 
Farther than even love 
Could reach.

Anger stood beside me
As Sadness gripped my hand.
They introduced me to their friend Grief,
But we never found Understand.

They say Grief, he’s a process
And Old Time, he heals all wounds.
But Grief, he’s just a circle
And Time forgot to soothe.

Because I still recall the sound,
The worst sound ever made.
As dirt fell and filled the hole
Where a little coffin laid.

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Jessica Raines

My name is Jessica. I'm from Georgia. I'm 27 and have three beautiful, crazy, wonderful children.