Have you ever heard the saying, “Love grows best in little houses”? I’ve seen it and heard it more than ever lately. It is almost like the saying has been following me and acting as a reminder.
You see, I’ve lived in my current home for seven and a half years. My husband and I purchased it when we were engaged and just out of college. I remember feeling proud—proud that at only 22 years old, I bought a house. I remember feeling excited—excited for the memories my husband, our dog, and I would make.
As time went on, we did some small and manageable projects. We painted, had new carpet installed, and hung up new light fixtures. We dreamed about the big projects, like removing walls, installing hardwood, adding on an addition, updating the kitchen—the more time consuming and expensive items.
All of these big projects faded to the background once we had kids. Now all of our time and money went into raising two little girls.
Now, don’t get me wrong, I am eternally grateful for the roof over my head and nothing makes me happier than to provide for my children. But I would be lying if I didn’t say I was becoming envious of others.
I was jealous of my friends and family buying bigger homes or building brand new ones. I was jealous of their designated playroom, since my living room, dining room, and basement have all become overrun by toys. I lusted over their spacious, open, and updated kitchen because mine was built in 1996 and consists of all the original oak cabinets, brass hardware, and off-white laminate countertops and flooring.
I was jealous, and I could feel it spreading through me. I started resenting my home because it wasn’t bigger or more up-to-date.
I hate the feeling of wanting what others have because if I stop and really think about it, I have everything I could ever want. I despise the feeling of being ungrateful because I really am so grateful for my home and the hard work it has taken my husband and me to buy it and take care of it.
I am richly blessed with a husband who adores his family and provides for them. I have two healthy, happy little girls I get to raise and be with every day since I am a SAHM. Is a bigger kitchen more desirable than family? For me, the answer is no.
When I find myself wandering, lusting, and wanting, I remind myself of that. I remind myself that a loving, supportive spouse is something many people wish for, and I have it. I remind myself that I get to have a toy covered living and dining room, filled with the laughter of my children, which some people hope and pray for every day.
This little house is filled with laughter, smiles, and memories.
Because it is smaller, we are always together and not a moment is missed. I have everything I want. I have everything I need. Love grows best in small houses just like mine.