Girl, Protect Your Marriage

“For better or for worse, in sickness and in health, u̶n̶t̶i̶l̶ ̶d̶e̶a̶t̶h̶ ̶d̶o̶ ̶u̶s̶ p̶a̶r̶t̶ ̶ until someone better comes along . . .” 

Someone better who fulfills you more. Is more attractive. Is new and different. Makes more money. Fills up empty places inside of you that, actually, you shouldn’t be looking to someone else to fill, but you are, so . . . this person will do. Someone who says just the right words to you, at just the right moment. Tells you you look nice when your spouse hasn’t in a long time. Just. Someone. Better. You get the picture.

Guess we’re just saying words, when we’re up there, yeah? Meaningless words. Maybe vows have become kind of just a tradition or formality? You’re not ACTUALLY promising to be together for life, for goodness sake. This is just something people say, I suppose. Doesn’t your happiness matter more than some antiquated promises?

Bit of advice for you—something you should just know as you stand up there in front of that altar—someone better WILL come along. Probably more than one, and definitely more than once.

Girl, watch your husband (and dude, watch your wife).

Actually, scratch that, how about this: Watch your marriage. 

Protect it.

Protect it at all costs.

Protect it because it is always under attack. 

It will need protecting.

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Here’s what it will need protecting from:

The stress that will beat you down.

The grief that will tear you apart.

Kids.

The foolish concept of a soulmate.

The guy who’s just a bud.

The girl who’s just a pal.

The notion that you and the shady situation you are involved in is some exception to the rules.

The temptation that will await you at every corner.

Boredom, complacency, routine.

Financial troubles, job troubles, extended family troubles.

The belief that life is somehow all about your personal happiness.

The one night you had too much to drink.

The person who looks at you like they’ve never seen you at your worst.

The allowances you slowly start to make for yourself. The rules you start to bend.

The principles you gradually abandon.

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The slippery slope you said you’d never slide down that suddenly looks like the answer to every one of your problems.

It will need protecting from we don’t have time to go on dates, we don’t need to spend money on counseling, I’m too tired to have sex, nothing will ever change, and it’s too exhausting to discuss this. 

Girl, watch your husband. While YOU may know that God’s not sending your soulmate in the form of some other woman’s husband, just look around, there are a lot of—ahem, girls—out there who didn’t quite get that memo. 

Dude, watch your wife. That “friend” who’s always willing to listen . . . might just be interested in filling more than her emotional void.

Don’t throw away your entire world for the promise of better, only to later realize that “greener pastures” are simply pastures that have been watered. Water your OWN pastures. Even when it looks easier to just start over. 

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The non-existent time and money you don’t have for dates—figure it out. Otherwise, you’ll be forced to find both time and money to take your kids to counseling as your work out your custody agreement.

We can all fall.

You who are reading this—you can fall.

This most dangerous lie ever to believe is that you, or your spouse, are exempt.

Not only can you, you most likely WILL if you don’t guard your marriage as if your life depends on it . . . because your family certainly does.

Girl, watch yourself.

Watch and guard your heart—watch it above all else for it determines the course of your life. 

Watch the thief, that comes to kill, steal, and destroy. She might just be wearing heels.

Watch your emotions that simply are NOT the same thing as truth.

Girl, wash your hands. Wash your face. But more important than all of that . . . check your heart.

Originally published on the authors’ blog