So God Made a Mother Collection ➔

Dear husband,

I know it hasn’t been easy stepping into our lives. So much happened before you came along—so much you don’t understand, so much you don’t agree with, so much that hurts you, so much you wish you could have protected us from.

I know it hasn’t been easy because so much of this is foreign to you. So much of it is new territory you never thought you’d experience. I know because of this, you constantly second guess yourself. I know you think you fall short, that things don’t always go as you had planned, and that your inexperience makes you inadequate.

But husband, although you struggle to make sense of it all, it’s important to remember that sometimes we aren’t meant to understand everything.

Sometimes God chooses to reveal partial details with the aim of protecting us. Even though I walked that trying time alone, there are some details He spared even me from. I believe He withheld for my protection, just as He has done so for you. I know it hasn’t been easy for you because you don’t agree with the way I’ve been treated and the hand I have seemingly been dealt. I know it pains you to learn of my previous hurts. But, my love, God is the author of our stories. Every event in my life, whether it be a tragedy or an injustice, God has worked out for good. None of it was in vain, it has all, in one way or another, been for His ultimate glory.

I wouldn’t be here today as your beloved if I hadn’t previously walked those roads and if I didn’t choose to confidently rest in His sovereignty.

I know as the lover of my soul, you wish you could have shielded us and protected us from it all, but that wasn’t your job. It isn’t your job. My love, your job isn’t to be our savior—we already have a Savior who died for us, a Savior who died for you, too.

My dear husband, while so much of this is new, foreign territory for you, no one would ever know it. Though you had given up hope of a family of your own, God clearly had other plans for you. My love, you are a natural. You were meant to be my partner just as you were meant to be their father.

Things may not have happened the way you planned them, and even on a day-to-day basis they may not happen how you plan them, but one thing is certain: they happen the way He has planned. I hope you remember His way always works out better than anything we could ever plan.

I watch you interact with them. I watch you treat them as your own. I see your love for them in the way you take pleasure even in the mundane. I see how you cherish the moments and don’t take them for granted. I hear your love for them in the way you talk about them to others. although you may feel that your inexperience somehow makes you inadequate, although you may second guess yourself, I look into their eyes as they look at you. I see you as they see you. And my darling, you have it all wrong. There is no fooling them. Their pure hearts see things as they are. The way they look at you screams it. The way they hug you and express their affections confirms it, too.

In our eyes, you are more than enough.

So, my beloved, I want you to know that although it hasn’t been easy, although you may feel like you’re lacking—you’re doing an incredible job. You are a natural. You were made for this. You’re imperfectly perfect for us. You are more than enough, and we thank God for the blessing that is you. We love you today. We love you tomorrow. We love you always.

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Jessika Sanders

Jessika is the founder and president of Praying Through ministries, a nonprofit that aims to equip and embolden men, women, and children with Biblical Truth as they journey through the difficult seasons of the NICU, PICU, and Child Loss. She is also a published writer who has been featured in Proverbs 31 Ministries’ Hope When Your Heart is Heavy devotional (2021), Focus on the Family’s Clubhouse Jr. magazine (2022), and Tyndale’s So God Made a Mother (2023). Jessika regularly writes for the Praying Through blog.

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