Another day has passed us by. Another day in this season of parenting our little ones. Another day where I didn’t say I Iove you enough. Did I even say it at all? I can’t even remember.
I got lost in my neverending tasks again. Just trying to stay ahead of the game, just trying to survive the day, this season.
I meant to tell you I love you when we hurried out the door this morning; when I was thinking about you at work; when you walked through the door; when you helped me with the kids; when you handled a meltdown so I didn’t have to; when we tucked the kids into bed; when we finally had a few minutes to ourselves; before you drifted off to sleep.
I meant to tell you I love you about 20 other times today. But the kids distracted me. The truth is, they always distract me.
I got lost in the exhaustion of the constant demands for my attention and everything everyone expects from Mommy.
I got lost in the toddler chasing, the snack grabbing, the nap times, the diaper changes, the playing, the messes, the baths, and the entertaining.
I got lost in the meltdowns, the time outs, the I’m sorrys, the refereeing of fights, the tantrums, and the cries for more attention.
I got lost in my anxiety, my worry for tomorrow, in everything I can’t control. In the planning, in my attempt to try to just control something.
I got lost in the doctoring of boo-boos, the mending of hurt feelings, the needed hugs and kisses, the cuddles, and the wiping away of tears.
I got lost in the cooking, the cleaning, the chores, the organizing, the laundry, the dishes, and my job.
I meant to have you at the top of my list today but you ended up on the bottom of it
with me . . . again. How do we both end up on the bottom all the time anyway?
It is never my intention to have the kids seem more important than you. Or for them to take so much out of me that I don’t have much left to give you.
Even in all the chaos, I still see you. You are just as important to me as the early days of us, even if I’m not always able to show it.
You are still in my thoughts throughout the day. I still look forward to when you come home, even if I don’t drop everything to greet you. You still give me butterflies at times. And I love the little moments we get to have as just you and me, though they don’t happen often enough.
I love you truly does not say enough when it comes to how I feel about you and what you mean to me. But it is also the best thing I can think to say to you as often as I can.
I know for you it goes without saying. But I just want you to know that today, tomorrow, a year from now, 20 years from now, that I LOVE YOU, and I always will.
I’m glad we get to live this crazy but beautiful life together. And there is no one else I’d rather have by my side.
Love always,
Your wife
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