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Motherhood can be lonely sometimes.

I know that seems like an odd thing to say.

How can you feel lonely? You have a child in your presence all day!”

I guess it’s hard to explain.

I remember when my husband’s paternity leave finished. The first day he kissed my forehead and left for work.

As he closed the door on our little family, I felt the worry set in. The house suddenly felt empty and ever so quiet.

Was this too much for me to handle on my own?

If something went wrong, or if I found myself in a situation that I couldn’t manage, what should I do?

What if I needed the bathroom at the same time that my daughter needed feeding?

Being left alone to deal with these anxieties can make you feel dreadfully isolated.

The worrying about the worrying.

With no other adult around to talk it through with.

Watching friends and family carrying on with their lives.

Feeling a little lost . . . 

It builds up.

I remember talking to a friend who lives a few towns away from me. Not the quickest drive, but we talk via message and we always swore that we would be honest with each other since becoming mothers.

“I feel lonely,” she said.

“Me too.”

And just like that, these feelings didn’t cause me such anxiety.

Feeling lonely isn’t a failing. It doesn’t mean that I don’t love my family to the ends of the earth and back. It is just part of it. Part of the package. Another thing we learn and grow through as we find our way as mothers.

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but if you are there, feeling lonely and not entirely sure why then please know this: you are not alone in feeling this way.

It is just another aspect that requires working through.

Slowly but surely, the loneliness becomes less as you become more confident in your decisions.

And in order to find yourself as a mother, you must completely lose yourself first.

It’s a transition we all undertake.

This post originally appeared on Mrs. Mombastic

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Kate Thornalley

I’ve worked with children for almost the entirety of my working life, including spending many years teaching in third world countries. I thought having worked with children from all across the board that I would have motherhood sussed. But I did not. I suffered with post natal depression after both births, and I decided one day that I would share my journey with other mums so that they would not feel alone. Alone in the same way that I did! No one should feel that way. The more I opened up, the more I learned that others felt the same. The more honest I was, the more other mothers would start to share with me, and in turn, the more normal I started to feel. I have two children: one 3 and a 1/2 and one 14 months. They are my world. I am also very lucky to have a supportive husband who works very hard to keep our family afloat. I would often feel like I had failed by having a child who did not want to go down to sleep, but I soon learned that many parents are in the same boat. I wanted others to know that it is very normal for this to be the case!

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