Raising happy, confident kids is the goal of most parents. Some parents struggle to find ways to talk with their children to promote happiness and confidence. I recommend using a combination of communication phrases that promote acceptance and develop a growth mindset.

Being accepted for who you are by your parent or parents, allows kids to feel safe enough to develop healthily and to thrive. Growth mindset helps kids try to learn new things, to persist, and also deal with difficulties in a more flexible way. Growth mindset is also important for thriving in life.

Here are 50 phrases you can use to raise a happy, confident child:

  1. I love you just the way you are
  2. Every day in every way, you get better and better
  3. I love the way you . . . 
  4. I love you more and more every day
  5. I love the way you keep going even when it’s tricky
  6. You can’t do it yet, but soon you will
  7. You are on the right track
  8. I can see a big improvement from all that practice
  9. Your hard work is paying off
  10. Let’s try it a different way
  11. If you are stuck, try it a different way
  12. I know you feel frustrated, but I love you all the same
  13. I love having you as my kid
  14. I love when we have fun together
  15. I noticed you can ____. I am so proud of you
  16. I was telling your grandma how amazing you are at . . . 
  17. Mistakes help you learn
  18. What did you learn from your mistake?
  19. What can you do next time?
  20. What would you do differently next time?
  21. How did you figure that out?
  22. I can see you put the effort in, well done
  23. What part would you like help with?
  24. You have lots of great ideas
  25. I saw you working hard
  26. What are your ideas?
  27. What do you think you could try?
  28. I love that you don’t give up easily when you want to learn something
  29. Every day I can see you are growing and learning
  30. Let’s see if we can train your brain in . . . 
  31. We love a challenge in our family
  32. Let’s see if we can solve this challenge
  33. Your brain can grow. If you can’t do it now you will soon
  34. You handled that well
  35. I love you no matter what you do
  36. I love your insides and your outsides
  37. I can see you put in a lot of effort
  38. I love hearing what you think
  39. I love looking at your face
  40. I love you even when you struggle with big feelings
  41. I love that when you make a mistake, you work out how to fix it
  42. You can’t do it yet, but you will
  43. If something is difficult, it means you are learning
  44. It’s OK to make mistakes, if you don’t make mistakes you don’t learn
  45. I love that you don’t give up easily
  46. You are a problem solver
  47. This challenge might take time and effort
  48. I love that you try new things
  49. You are important to me
  50. I love being your parent

I would love to hear how you find using these phrases with your child. Experiment with what works best. You may even find some of these statements helpful for your own well-being and confidence as a parent

Originally published on PsychCentral

Nadene van der Linden

Nadene van der Linden is a clinical psychologist in private practice specialising in perinatal psychology, parenting and trauma. Join the Unshakeable Calm facebook group today. Science based tips for calm and confident living.