You may not love it, Mama, but I do.

I see the way you look at yourself in the mirror, Mama. I hear you complain to Daddy that you have “huge bags” under your eyes. I don’t really know what that means but I assume its because you are tired. You were up with me again all last night. I really love the way you cuddle me in the middle of the night while the rest of the world is quiet. You make me feel so safe. You may not love the sleepless nights, Mama, but I do.

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I hear the way you talk about your tummy. I did not see it “before” like you keep referring to. You say it is yucky and unappealing.

That tummy carried me, Mama.

It was so comfortable and so cozy. I love the way you hold me against it now. It’s so soft and it feels like home to me. You may not love it, Mama, but I do.

I hear you say you feel lonely. You tell Daddy that you’re so excited when he gets home so that you can have someone to talk to. You can talk to me, Mama. I love hearing your voice. It’s so soothing and comforting. It makes me feel so relaxed. One of my favorite parts of the day is when you sing to me or tell me stories. I could spend every minute of every day with you. You are my favorite. You may not like the isolation, Mama, but I do.

I see the way you work so hard to make everyone happy, Mama. Daddy and I are so lucky to have you. I can tell that you are putting us before yourself and we really appreciate it. It must be so tough to be hungry or tired but still have to take care of me first. You may not love all the sacrifices, Mama, but I do.

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I watch you pick up food and clean the floors every time I “eat”. I love learning how to feed myself. I can imagine its hard work keeping the floors clean. I just love watching the food hit the floor. I love watching the way it bounces and splatters. I think it’s so funny when the doggy eats it. Learning is so fun! You may not love the messes, Mama, but I do.

I often just look at you and smile.

Sometimes I can see tears in your eyes and I wonder why you’re sad. I hear you talking to friends and saying you “don’t feel like yourself lately.” I don’t understand because to me you are so perfect. I know daddy thinks so, too, because I often hear him trying to cheer you up and he always tells me how amazing you are.

You may not love yourself right now, Mama, but I do.

This article was originally published on Sleep Deprived Mom