To my sweet, oftentimes-needy newborn,

I am writing this to you as you lay swaddled tightly on my chest. Every time I put you down you let out a wail. I feel you squirming through the pain, and your cat-like newborn scream makes my heart ache for you.

I want to get stuff done. I have a pile of unfinished work, bottles to fill, snacks to prepare because your sisters are adjusting to your arrival and are extra needy—filling up any spare time I used to have—but right now, I have no time, because right now, I am glued to you.

I’ll do anything to stop your tears.

You know that by how I am functioning on so little sleep to bulk you up. In the dead of night, we feed, your little lips sucking away, gulping down. I am so in the depths of this stage, that my brain exists in this hazy fog, and I can barely scratch the surface of that smog on most days.

Some people hate the newborn phase. They want to fast-forward through the exhaustion that permeates through it. I am not one of those people.

As a veteran mom, I know these moments are so fleeting.

That soon, you will rather explore than snuggle.
That soon, you will be back talking and throwing fits.
That soon, you will be walking into your preschool class, and we’ll be forced to separate.

So, I’ll embrace this time of us, glued together.

What I hope you’ll learn from this Krazy Glue-like stage? 

When you fall, I will be your hand to help lift you up.
When you get rejected, I will be here as your support.
When you need a hug, I will be here for an embrace.

Because as your mother, I will always be your glue and glue fixes everything the best, it can.

This post originally appeared on the author’s Facebook page

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Dani Sherman-Lazar

Dani Sherman-Lazar is an eating disorder advocate recently hitting the five-year landmark of being in recovery from anorexia and bulimia. She is also Vice President of a transportation company and a mother to two daughters - a six-month-old and a two-year-old. Follow her on her blog Living a Full Life After ED and like it on Facebook. Her book Living Full: Winning My Battle with Eating Disorders is available on Amazon.