Free shipping on all orders over $75🎄

When God gave me you, I understood the true power of change.

For nine months my body grew and stretched. I folded my favorite jeans and placed them in the closet. Hopeful for the day we would reunite, maybe with a cute top and heels, and your father by my side at our favorite restaurant. For days, weeks, and months after your arrival, I poked, sighed, nudged, and tucked extra skin. I cursed stretch marks as I reminisced of the body that use to stare back in the mirror at me.

When God gave me you I learned what “love at first sight” truly meant.

The idea of girl meets boy, their eyes lock, hearts patter faster, and suddenly a divine intervention brings them standing face-to-face. Well, my dear child, that visual is made for the movies, because “love at first sight” is reserved for a parent and child. In fact, our love was created in a miraculous moment. The moment when you took your first breath and I lost mine staring at you. It occurred the instant they placed you in my arms. You never felt like a stranger, but instead a missing piece in our world.

When God gave me you, I experienced the magic of 2 a.m.

With exhaustion racing through my mind and veins, your piercing cry would jolt me upright and to your side. In the quietness of the night, it was just you and me, baby.
Even when it felt impossible for my weary body to function, there was pure magic as I fed and rocked you in those 2 a.m. feedings. Something about the darkness and silence that brought out a beautiful peacefulness, and a non-verbal connection between us two.

When God gave me you I became more patient and understanding.

There were moments of frustration, and times when the days and nights felt so long. As you grew there were seasons of change, and the things that stressed me before were suddenly replaced by new worries and challenges that needed to be faced. Most days, my patience was tested. I gritted my teeth and excused myself to my bedroom for my own time-out. I learned to extend grace to you and myself as we tackled every new endeavor.

When God gave me you I loved my own momma more.

Yes, your grandma became more special in my book, too. Suddenly I realized the magnitude of the transformation from woman to mom. The love and appreciation I had for my own mom grew with you. The reality is I never knew the work, stress, worry, and challenges my own mom went through until I became a mom myself. Looking at you, I could finally see the love she had given to me all these years, and every sacrifice she made in between.

When God gave me you I realized my own strength.

I endured intense pain during those early morning hours when my contractions intensified. My heart broke into tiny pieces watching kids ignore you for the first time on the playground. But through it all, I realized your strength starts with me. I bend and break thousands of times quietly in an effort to keep you safe and secure. On the days when I feel broken, I look at you and know my strength is derived from the intense love I have for you.

When God gave me you I found myself.

I thought I knew myself. I thought I knew who I was in this world. No, my dear child, I never flourished in this life until God gave me you. I never realized my own attributes to this world until I held, cared for, and loved you. There was so much to learn and oh so much more to gain from the gift a being a mom. When people talk about their legacy and their work on this Earth, I always searched high and low. But now, I look at you and realize if mine is only you, well, then God knew exactly what He was doing when He gave me you.

Originally published on the author’s blog

You may also like: 

To My Mom: I Get It Now

God Sees You, Middle of the Night Mama

A Mama Isn’t Born, She’s Made

Want more stories of love, family, and faith from the heart of every home, delivered straight to you? Sign up here!

So God Made a Mother book by Leslie Means

If you liked this, you'll love our new book, SO GOD MADE A MOTHER available now!

Order Now

Ashli Mazer

Hi I am Ashli. I am a first-time mommy, full-time marketing professional, part-time blogger and no-time sleeper. I like to think I manage it all but really life is just me managing the chaos while dancing backwards in high heels. You can read more at my Blog, BackwardsNHighHeels.com.  

God Had Different Plans

In: Faith, Motherhood
Silhouette of family swinging child between two parents

As I sip my twice-reheated coffee holding one baby and watching another run laps around the messy living room, I catch bits and pieces of the Good Morning America news broadcast. My mind drifts off for a second to the dreams I once had of being the one on the screen. Live from New York City with hair and makeup fixed before 6 a.m. I really believed that would be me. I just knew I’d be the one telling the mama with unwashed hair and tired eyes about the world events that happened overnight while she rocked babies and pumped milk....

Keep Reading

My Baby Had Laryngomalacia

In: Baby, Motherhood
Mother holding baby on her shoulder

Life’s funny, isn’t it? Just when you think you’ve got the whole motherhood thing figured out, the universe throws a curveball. And, oh boy, did it throw me one with my second baby. There I was, feeling like a seasoned mom with my firstborn—a healthy, vivacious toddler who was 16 months old. Our breastfeeding journey had its hiccups, an early tongue-tie diagnosis that did little to deter our bond. Fourteen months of nurturing, nighttime cuddles, and feeling powerful, like my body was doing exactly what it was meant to do. Enter my second baby. A fresh chapter, a new story....

Keep Reading

Please Stop Comparing Kids

In: Motherhood
Mom and kids in sunlight

Let me begin with this important message: Please refrain from comparing children, especially when it pertains to their growth and development. If you happen to notice differences in a child’s height, weight, or appetite compared to another, that’s perfectly fine. Your observations are appreciated. However, I kindly request that you avoid openly discussing these comparisons as such conversations can inadvertently distress a parent who may already be grappling with concerns about their child’s growth trajectory. Trust me, I say this from personal experience. Recently, at a dinner gathering, a couple casually remarked that someone’s 1-year-old child appeared larger both in...

Keep Reading

This Will Not Last Forever

In: Faith, Motherhood
Woman looking at sunset

“This will not last forever,” I wrote those words on the unfinished walls above my daughter’s changing table. For some reason, it got very tiring to change her diapers. Nearly three years later, the words are still there though the changing table no longer is under them. While my house is still unfinished so I occasionally see those words, that stage of changing diapers for her has moved on. She did grow up, and I got a break. Now I do it for her baby brother. I have been reminding myself of the seasons of life again. Everything comes and...

Keep Reading

She is an Anonymom

In: Living, Motherhood
Mother standing at sink holding a baby on her hip

She stands alone in the church kitchen, frantically scrubbing pots and pans while the grieving huddle around the fellowship hall, and she slips out the back door before anyone comes in. She is an anonymom. She gets out of her car and picks up the trash thrown into the ditch alongside the country road. She is an anonymom. She sits on the park bench, watching her children play. In the meantime, she continually scans the whole playground, keeping track of everyone’s littles, because that is what moms do. She is an anonymom. RELATED: Can We Restore “the Village” Our Parents...

Keep Reading

You Made Me Love Christmas

In: Motherhood
Family in pajamas near Christmas tree, color photo

Hi kids, this is a thank you note of sorts . . . I’m about to tell you something strange. Something you may not “get” yet, but I hope you do eventually. I used to dread Christmas. I know, isn’t that weird? Most kids and a lot of adults have countdowns and decorations and music, but I had a countdown in my mind of when it would be over. To me, it wasn’t a happy time. From the age of about eight (right about where you all are now) Christmas, for me, became like a job of sorts. Long before...

Keep Reading

I Come Alive at Christmas

In: Motherhood
Kitchen decorated for Christmas

It’s time again. Time for the lights and the trees and candy canes and tiny porcelain village homes. It’s time to shake off all that this year has thrown at me and come alive again. My favorite time of year is here and it’s time to make some magic. My mom started the magic of Christmas for me when I was little, and I was infatuated with the joy that it brought to so many people. Loved ones come together and everything sparkles and people who don’t normally come to church are willing to join us in the pews. Everything...

Keep Reading

Brothers Fight Hard and Love Harder

In: Kids, Motherhood
Two boys play outside, one lifting the other on his back

The last few years have been a whirlwind. My head has sometimes been left spinning; we have moved continents with three boys, three and under at the time. Set up home and remained sufficiently organized despite the complete chaos to ensure everyone was where they were meant to be on most days. Living in a primarily hockey town, the winters are filled with coffee catch-ups at the arena, so it was no surprise when my youngest declared his intention to play hockey like his school friends. Fully aware that he had never held a hockey stick or slapped a puck,...

Keep Reading

Stop Putting an Expiration Date on Making Memories

In: Kids, Motherhood
Mother and son in small train ride

We get 12 times to play Santa (if we’re lucky). This phrase stopped my scroll on a Sunday evening. I had an idea of the direction this post was going but I continued on reading. 12 spring breaks 12 easter baskets 20 tooth fairy visits 13 first days of school 1 first date 1-2 proms 1-2 times of seeing them in their graduation cap and gown 18 summers under the same roof And so on and so on. It was essentially another post listing the number of all the monumental moments that we, Lord willing, will get to experience with our...

Keep Reading

Connecting with My Teen Son Will Always Be Worth the Wait

In: Motherhood, Teen
Teen boy standing near lamppost, color photo

So much of parenting teens is just waiting around, whether it’s in the car picking them up, reading in waiting rooms now that they are old enough to visit the dentist alone, and quite honestly, a lot of sitting around at home while they cocoon in their rooms or spend hours FaceTiming friends. Sure, you have your own life. You work, run a household, have your own friends, and plan solo adventures to show your teen that you’re not just waiting around for them all the time. That you are cool with them not needing you so much. But deep...

Keep Reading