There are times when love is loud. There are times when it’s crazy and visible and sometimes, you find yourself shouting.

And then there’s the easy, quiet kind.

The kind that doesn’t take a lot of work, but still, somehow, makes the biggest waves.

Every girl loves a grand gesture, you know? But . . . if you were asking me? This is what I’d do: 

1. Tell her that she’s important and necessary. Don’t tell her she’s pretty—save that for your first date. And don’t tell her she’s beautiful—save that for when you know she’s the one. Tell her she’s necessary when you’ve realized you cannot possibly live without her.

2. Take her for a walk. A long one. Without your phone. Hold her hand in yours. Talk about how you got to where you are together, and talk about where you will be in two years, five, or 10. Talk about how you’ll walk beside each other for the rest of ever.

3. Cook with her. And if you can’t cook, then stand in the kitchen with her and talk to her. Stand behind her, push her hair off of her neck, and nuzzle in close.

4. Turn the light down low, play your song, pull her close, and dance. And don’t worry if you can’t—that’s not what it’s about. Not one single bit. Sway your hips—even if it’s not to the beat. Shuffle your feet across a floor, and breathe her in.

5. Fold the laundry. Or do the dishes. Or make the bed. Scrape her windows. Pour her a glass of wine. And then tell her you’re proud of how hard she works every day, or that you love the life you’re carving out with her.

I mean—if you were asking me, or whatever.

This article originally appeared on Rebecca Cooper, Author


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Rebecca Cooper

Rebecca Cooper-Thumann is an English teacher in a sleepy town in the midwest. She has published four novels and is currently working on a fifth. She has a precocious four-year-old son, she loves nachos and Jesus, and she tries to live her life every day rooted in courage and joy.